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My point is.
I don't cheat and wouldnt, I have better control than that.
But it made me mad as hell for women to hit on me that knew I was married at the time.

I know how badly I would be hurt if my partner cheated and I will not cause anyone else that kind of pain.

But to buy anyones BS lines or ignore the truth to sleep with them is wrong.
Honestly.. How would you feel if you found out your husband was screwing another gal?
Do to others as you would want them to do to you.

Myself. I don't trust any cheaters and there is no place in my life for them.

I do agree.

But as far as the decisions people make are concerned , i still think we cannot put all 100% cases in to absolutism codes.

I agree, not all cases. but some cases we can.

Example.. how apt would you be to become a good friend of a guy, when he tells you " I slept with a lot of women when I was married because my wife couldnt please me" ?

I know what you are saying Ras and have been there, my childrens father was a man tart and could sell sand to the Arabs - it was such a painful experience for me and a huge part of my growing up - consequently, I learnt from that experience quite a lot about integrity and overall, the difference between good and bad intent. I found that bad intent would lead a person to sleep with any person for the reason of getting their rocks off while 'good intent' was quite something else.

My innocence and everything else were at stake during this particular learning curve and they all met the sky the night I saw him wrapped in my good friends arms - I would never do this to anybody but, what I have learned is that; 1. not everybody acts from the same principles and 2. no one set of principles suit all folks 3. it sure does hurt lots to see the person you love in the arms of another 4. we mustnt carry these experiences into our futures 5. judgmentalism is the easy option

a guy ike that - I would laugh him out of town - simple as - emotionally inept and probably useless in bed too

also your words from the other thread


which is it?
best we let this one slide.

I get confused at times also.
Even while single I have had some really beautiful women want to play.
but I just couldnt do it just for the sake of sex. later to kick myself.

But was ultimately glad in the end, I just cant if my heart isnt in it.

I also am no angel,
My first marriage failed partially because I was 17 and drank like a fish. we were both to blame for the failure.
But I was stupid to get married so young.
Kids having kids is not too smart.

no, absolutely no need to let it ride and I am happy you have brought the two together as i was tired of them being on seperate threads

I will try to condense it as much as possible...........

Then, as now, I would not take the word of some guy saying they were staying with some woman fo the sake of the children but all the same needed a friend - luckily for me, my friend who is on this site and goes by the name of Bodleing, had been a friend of the guy in question for many years - he confirmed all my queries and they were further confirmed by another friend of ours, John, who had also known the people in question for at least 20 yrs. - this whole tale goes back to about 1976 when Haydn first came into all of our lives - Bodleing and John were already friends of my childrens father and I.

18 yrs down the line, after never involving myself in these things, I found myself alone and in at least monthly contact with the guy in question - I had picked up bits and pieces in these yrs but kept my own council as well as my distance - but the day came when we faced each other head to head so to speak, he knew my story cos they ahd all been business partners for so long (by this time)

so.......

I had split with my childrens father after lots of problems, probably the least amongst them was the night I saw him wrapped around Christine who I mentioned had been one of my good friends - and this is what I meant when I said I would never do this to anyone.............

Haydn and I got together as two very bruised and literally, 'battered' people who made each others lives bearable in the short time we had to give to each other.............

Drop Bodleing a line, he will confirm all I have said............

Trish,
We just have to agree to disagree.
If they guy wanted an affair, should have divorced his wife.

even if she was screwing around because he was almost never home ( if that may be the case) still.. Two wrongs don't make a right.
But to say he was staying for the kids, yet he was almost never home....

sorry, I aint buying

Im happy to agree to disagree if thats what you what - no probs and thanks






however, it was so much deeper than that

for it to have been otherwise, the guy would have had to get through a pretty failsafe defence system of a couple of guys I had known and respected for many years - I was with Bodleing (et al) on a 9 to 5 basis at the time and these people were looking after me - they guided me right - he died in 97 after years of what we experienced as 'right'............................

I know, staying for the kids and never home - i questioned that too - but that had been the way for many yrs before I csme along

- what they see is what they want- but cannot see that they cannot have what someones else has got --- ie the intrinsic nature of a successful relationship, as in love is not a tangible commodity

Was going to let it pass,
so you are saying cheating is ok for him as long as theres a good enough reason.


I just dont see it that way.

However, there are some women that make it a point to chase married men.
Those are the ones I was originally asking about.

BINGO

That was the point...
and if a woman steals a man.. she most likely wont abtain the love that was built between the married couple and the trust will never be there.

Some men do have morals still!!!!!!!!!!!!

--- goes for any committed relationship

Well I have joined the debate a wee bit late agree but I would still like to have my say..I wholeheartedly agree with Goose and Claire....I can say never also as I have had it done to me and I cherish my own self respect.....I have witnessed the aftermath of it all and the effect on myself and my children......so for 'single' women bleating on about it being all the married guys fault I would say think again...you knew he was married and out of bounds and if you cant find a man of your own then have a closer look at yourself...it may boost your self confidence temporarily but lets face it we can all pull a married man...it means nothing..happens to me on a regular basis....also for the women who marry these d*ckhe*ds I would say what goes around comes around....i hope you get whats coming

Same here!! We control what we do, And sorry.. excuses cant make it right, what matters is, if the person acts like this and is adult enough to
realize it is wrong, stop doing it and learn.
But if continue to make excuses to make it right, I don't think you have learned anything.

and I value how Much trust and faith my friends have in me.

Would like to clarify one of my own points...and that is that although I get hit on by married men on a regular basis....I tell them what I think of them and send them packing.....also i apologise for my poor use of the english language in my description of said men but I got a bit fired up by some of the womens previous postings