smoky: From my experiences I dont think it is fair for children to be brought up by a single parent.
My brother and I were brought up by our Dad.... an excellent parent. We thought it was quite normal. When we got older, married and all that stuff, we found we had lost out on a "balanced" upbringing. My brother was short on understanding the Female side of life. Me too. I was always inclined to "think like a man" if that makes any sense.
Whereas, my younger sister, brought up by our Mother, seems to have a different outlook and handles her life, as a woman, more successfully. She also has very little patience with men....
Taking note of others thru life`s walk, I do notice that those brought up with a Mom and Dad in a union seem more capable of handling life`s problems..... more rational and level headed.....jmho....
I do also know, for a fact, that boys will seek a Mentor - they need one, and they may not necessarily find a "good" one - any older male who impresses them is who they will imitate.
I understand what you're saying Smoky, but there is more to it then that. I feel that it is important to provide good role models of the sex that is gone from your child's life, in my case my ex husband wasn't around so I made sure that she spent quality time with men who were good roles models, my father, my brothers and my best male friend. Also parents need to be careful not to slag off the other parent to their kids, or to instill their own distrust of the opposite sex to them... I see and hear soooo much of that.
I also think it's much healthier for a child to be raised in a single parent family then in a dysfunctional 2 parent family. Kids learn about relationships from those closest to them and if your relationship with your spouse is unhealthy that is what your children learn.
My daughter saw the amazing relationship my parents have, was given a lot of love and support from the men in our lives and when the issue of her dad came up.... instead of slagging him off as the spineless sperm donor that he was... I always told her that her dad loved her and that he had things in his life he needed to work out and when he did, he would contact her. He did contact her when she was older and it didn't' take her long to figure out for herself what kind of man he was compared to the other men in her life.
She is now engaged to be married next year to a fantastic man that she has been with for the past 9 years, has made amazing life choices, has a great job and a wonderful life... thank god she didn't take after her mother!!!