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Nice to know your huge ego didn't take a dent

Hope your bicep returns to shape

Dang, heavy equipment huh? Was wondering what had kept you away so long. Missed you sweetums.

(The 38 yr old is gone, couldn't handle me. )

Bet thats playing havoc with your sex life.
have to use your other arm now

Dear Dio's Journal,

So I am on week 4 of the diet...and so far I have lost a total of 21 lbs and I forget how many inches...I know, YAY!!!

keep this in mind...

This morning I woke up, looked around and saw that laundry has not been on my priority list this week. So after some searching I found a clean pair of pants. I put them on knowing full well that they were big before I started dieting. They were way loose, but I figured, I got hips, these pants won't go anywhere.

Off to work...

Pulled into the parking lot, and I began my morning ritual of gathering my things to take inside. Well I had dropped my cell phone under the seat. So I opened the door stepped out, and began my search. (To get the full picture you should know I am driving my son's dad's truck while my car is in the shop, the bottom of the door hits me right above my knee.) In a half kneeling, fully bent over position my search continued for the missing phone. At this point I could tell that my pants were riding a little low. No biggie, a little crack never hurt anyone! Right?

Well...

I finally found the phone and started maneuvering my way out. When I stepped down out of the truck, somehow, in true Wendy fashion, I managed to step on the inside back of my pant leg. In doing so I nearly pulled my pants off! No joke, over the hips, full exposure! That my friends is too much crack for anyone to see, especially at 8:00 in the morning! lol

It gets better...

Had the parking lot been empty, I would have shook this off and made it the perfect excuse to go shopping on my lunch break; however, the landscaping guys, all of 6 of them, were unloading equipment right across from me. Heaven forbid I moon the world without an audience! I thought for a second maybe it made their day...but then I realized the worst part of it all...I didn't even wear cute underwear! Shame, shame on me!

So I chalk it all up to lessons learned, what might those lessons be you ask...

Lesson One: Always, always wear cute underwear, you never know who'll see your ass!

Lesson 2) Never under estimate the size of your pants and how easily you can loose them!

Thanks for listening Dio's Journal,
Wendy

I wish I could have been there to see that! And believe me, if the landscape guys are like the ones here, they couldn't care less if you have on cute underwear!

Stepping out of my pants, by accident anyways, has never been big on my list of problems! Congrats on losing the weight!

And where the frack have you been girlie? Oh lord, now the fun really begins!

Connecting Singles Website.....$0

Internet Service Provider...unknown number of dollars

Wendy's pants falling off...priceless

Yowch!!... How's it doing now?

Wendy..

Hey fantastic about you 21lbs!! Well done!

It's doing well...still a little sore, and weaker than it was before, which is hard to get used to. I'll grab things, not realizing that I can't pick them up because I never had a problem with it before, and it's really wierd being limited in that way.

Dear Dio's Journal,

Are you telling that loosing my pants is valuable???

Wonder what I could make if I just didn't ever wear them again...

Journal, please advise!!!

Thanks,
Wendy

PS-Wireless card for the laptop, $60.00

You used to pick things up with it??

Have you been to Milan...

should see what they do with canaries.....

Dear Dio's Journal,

Went to White Water Bay on Saturday, water theme park.

Spent a little time in the water, a little time in the sun, and way to much time at the bar. (Yes, the water park has a bar...I know...it's awesome!)

Well like every moment in my life, there were lessons learned...I won't go into details, but the lessons are as follows:

1. Double knot the swim suit...ALWAYS!!! If it ties than it can untie, and bad things can happen! lol

2. If you are laughing too hard to swim, then you should not be in water where you can not touch. It's just a bad idea. In may equally be a bad idea to be in the water period!

3. Don't jump out of your tube in the deep end of the wave pool while the waves are going...you may drowned, lose your sunglasses, and cause your friends to laugh histerically and then fratically try to save your drowning ass, regardless of the fact that ever time you come up for air you say, "I CAN SWIM"...(No Dio's Journal, I did not jump out of my tube.)

4. Don't drink and slide...period! I know it sounds fun, but seriously...(Journal, you can bend this one a little, don't drink and climb three stories to go down a spiral slide, it's just a bad idea). Stick to the kiddie slides or the ones with less stairs!

5. The wave pool makes you sick when you have not been drinking...stay away when you have been...stay far, far away!

6. Tip your bartender, he may loose his job for all the alcohol he gives away! (Thanks Brent, we love you!)

7. If you need a good laugh while at white water, whatch the folks who have been sitting at the bar all day! They will crack you up!

Thanks for listening again Dio's Journal, I promise to try to behave myself for a few weeks.

TTYS,
Wendy

Dear Journal,

I see you've been cheating on me with someone prettier. You're such a dog Journal! I thought what we had was special.

Dear Dio's Journal,

You should appologize to Dio for cheating on him...

He's such a nice guy...he deserves better than that...

Appologize and ask him to come back and write more. The world needs his words!!!

Sincerely,
Wendy

"Dio's Secret Public Journal"

Now, there's an oxymoron if ever I saw one...??!!

well all I got to say is I think those Rig Boys you work with have to take you out and get you good and drunk...........

~~~I love this thread!!!!!! Keep'em coming!!!

Hugs to your dad and a hug to you for....being you


P.S. that closet thing....wow.

Dear Journal,

I left work at Halliburton last summer to go to work for another company that pays a little more. As it turns out, I don't enjoy working at the other company as much. I am eligeble to be rehired at Halliburton, but so far have been frustrated in my attempts to get back on there.

Well, I got a call from a girl named Shelby today to ask me if I would be interested in coming on Friday to take a battery test that is part of their lengthy pre-employment process. I'm excited Journal! I told Shelby I'd be happy to do an assault and battery on her battery test. For real Journal, the last test that I took for this company was when they sent me to crane operator school...I scored so high on it that the FSQC (field service quality control supervisor) accused me of cheating. He said it's impossible to do that well without cheating. Oh well, apparently not.

Anyhow, wish me well Journal. I really want to go back to work there, and wear the fireman look-alike suit again. Just don't call it a Santa Claus suit Journal! You know that pisses me off!

Peace in the Middle East
I'm Audi like 5 Gs
and Off like a Prom dress

Goodluck ..