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I am only the messenger here, so before the bashing begins...this was written by a woman. Laura Snyder.

Full text can be found at: http://channels.isp.netscape.com/love.content.jsp?file=love/fun/gameswomenplay.jsp&floc

For brievity I going to shorten them to the bullet lines and a single discription line. But this is the gist of Laura article on the 7 mind games women play. For guys, all 7 shall soon be added in our guy's rule and handbook on women. For women, is she giving away trade secrets?

The 7 Mind Games Women Play
by Laura Snyder

You've long suspected it, and we're confirming it right now-your woman is toying with you, testing you, and trying your patience. Your every move is under intense scrutiny in her search for the hidden meaning of your actions. Are you passing these pop quizzes?

Girl Game # 1: The Baiting Game

The classic example is "Does this make me look fat?, but also this game can also be disguished as "Is she prettier than I?" or "Am I the best you've ever had?"

Girl Game # 2: Your Attention, Please

Even if she doesn't say it, she notices if you remember her sister's layoff or her best friend's pregancy. She wonders about the hidden meaning of your gifts to her.

Girl Game # 3: What Do You Care?

You were gentlemen enough to walk her to her door for your first few months of dating (you did know enough do to that, right?) but now she checks to see that you at least wait until she's safely inside before speeding home to catch Sport's Center.

Girl Game # 4: The "We Need To Talk" Test

It is no coincidence that she springs those four little words on you in the most inconvenient of time-during the final play of the big game, right before sex or whenever you're otherwise distracted.

Girl Game # 5: Sex as a Bargaining Tool

Your suspicions are correct: She does use sex as a weapon. She withholds is when she is mad, gives it when she's trying to placate you, and promises it in return for other goods and services.

Girl Game # 6: The Cold Shoulder

Uh-Oh She's mad and you're getting the silent treatment and don't know why (again!).

Girl Game # 7; The Jezbel Mind Tricks

She's got a whole arsenal of mind games she can play with you. Including reverse psychology (when she says the opposite of what she wants in order to get you to do exactly what she what wants to do) amd those times when she seems to expect you to be able to read her mind.

As the messenger......I now ...for often messengers do end up filet in such a message. Comments? Guy are we totally outmatched? Ladies is this fair play?

I'm sure there are women who play these 'tricks', but in general I've not suffered this.

Nope, only a bit of slander and the odd lie here and there.

Basically, I think if you get a good one, treat her like a princess, she'll reward you with goodness and respect.

I hear there you there and do totally agree. But also in my desire to better understand the mind of women......such a article does catch my attention. Please note, I did not say that I did fully have this understanding........which is a sure fire way to end up with a dish being thrown in your general direction.

yeah I agree 100%

I think you are safe Tom.
You only gave the very short list.
There are many more.

I am not a jealous person, but this drove one of my GF's crazy.. so she started playing.. lets see if I can make him jealous!

How about this one. Let us have a relationship, so I can get custody of my son back from a divorce.

Girl Game # 1: The Baiting Game

The classic example is "Does this make me look fat?, but also this game can also be disguished as "Is she prettier than I?" or "Am I the best you've ever had?"

Have never asked such stupid questions.

Girl Game # 2: Your Attention, Please

Even if she doesn't say it, she notices if you remember her sister's layoff or her best friend's pregancy. She wonders about the hidden meaning of your gifts to her.

I would like to know that a man cares about the things I care about. But if he doesn't remember something trivial, I totally understand. And I never wonder about hidden meanings of gifts, I just appreciate that he thought of me.

Girl Game # 3: What Do You Care?

You were gentlemen enough to walk her to her door for your first few months of dating (you did know enough do to that, right?) but now she checks to see that you at least wait until she's safely inside before speeding home to catch Sport's Center.

I don't even understand what this is about.

Girl Game # 4: The "We Need To Talk" Test

It is no coincidence that she springs those four little words on you in the most inconvenient of time-during the final play of the big game, right before sex or whenever you're otherwise distracted.

Oh, I hate the "we need to talk" deal, if I really do need to, I say it when we're comfortable together, not when he's distacted by something else. That's just dumb.

Girl Game # 5: Sex as a Bargaining Tool

Your suspicions are correct: She does use sex as a weapon. She withholds is when she is mad, gives it when she's trying to placate you, and promises it in return for other goods and services.

Never, never, never. The only reason I don't have sex is cause I don't want to. Now if I'm mad, I probably don't want to. But I'm not doing it out of spite. I can't cut him off without cutting myself off, and I happen to enjoy sex.

Girl Game # 6: The Cold Shoulder

Uh-Oh She's mad and you're getting the silent treatment and don't know why (again!).

If I'm mad, he's gonna know why. If I'm not talking, it's cause I know it won't do any good anyway, so why waste my breath.

Girl Game # 7; The Jezbel Mind Tricks

She's got a whole arsenal of mind games she can play with you. Including reverse psychology (when she says the opposite of what she wants in order to get you to do exactly what she what wants to do) and those times when she seems to expect you to be able to read her mind.

I've never been any good at mind games. I'm doing good to understand my own mind, much less someone else's.

Comments? Guy are we totally outmatched?

Of course you are.

I must say,,
There ARE women that don't play games.
There are some that only play a few of the small ones and honestly don't realize it.
There are many that play games nonstop and know darn well they are doing it!

Thank you for realizing that Rick. I hate being painted with the same brush as "all women." I think maybe I'm missing a gene or something, but I've just never been able, or wanted to, play the control games. I don't like women who do. And some men have some pretty nasty games they play as well.

sshhhhhh.....
Im an A$$HOLE! don't blow my cover!

My replies to this theory......

1. Maybe if I was paying more attention to her and reminding her how beautiful she is, she will not have the need to prompt me!

2. If she matters to me at all, her interests will be important to me as well. It's called caring!

3. Maybe at this point I just need to break things off. If her safety is less important then a repeating sports show, I am obviously with the wrong person.

4. If we share good communication this won't be any issue at all. It comes up when I put things like t.v. shows before her that it does.

5. When sex is as gratifying for her as it is for me, there is nothing to bargain with! But then that would once again take effort on my part!

6. Oh, I know why.. And to tell the truth I probably deserve it!

7. Refer back to #2... When I listen and pay attention it goes from guessing to knowing..

My question is why do woman date guys that they have to treat like children? When there are plenty of mature men out there that understand what it takes to be in a mature relationship!

Water seeks it's own level.. So women only act like that because the boys they are dating act like that!

~JBG~

Oh, if there's one valuable thing I've learned, it's to NOT say what I don't mean.... It wasn't easy to learn to say I'm upset instead of pouting and saying "I don't care"...

I can see why people are compelled to write these useless (on offence intended) lists.

Seems that men and women very often misunderstand each other and each other's intensions so thoroughly that it's nice to have some guidelines on what all? many? some? a very few? women are like.

A couple of days ago, someone I thought was my gay hairdresser/astrologer friend said this to me:
''I'm not worried about you.
I don't worry about people who LIE.
You tell lies concerning yourself.
And you tell lies concerning me....''

I didn't understand and asked for clarification, which I didn't get. So then I just said Sorry, I didn't mean to.... and put it all down to a total and tragic breakdown of communication/understanding of intentions between people.
So many of us it seems cannot talk straight at important times (me included) that we eventually get into the habit of suspecting others (especially of the opposite sex) of manipulation, hidden agendas, etc....

Anyway, good luck to us all, heaven help us, etc......

Hey, sweetie!!!

The older woman are the less they can get away with games.

A 45 year old woman does not have the same bargaining power as a 28 year old.

Women can ruin a perfectly good relationship with a great guy by playing games, then its too late and she cannot go back.

games are for children.

A man with brains and beauty. I sure do agree with you JohnyBgood. Oh, you said it completely right. You maid lots of points and many thanks.

Morning! (the dogs and I just got back from our walk/jog in the woods)

I also think that we probably play those "mind games" when we don't know better and have no idea what would work much better.

YouWho--- professor, there are many ladies over 45 that can power bargain you right into begging, UN-controlably and wipe your mouth , your drooling on me.

[quote=ttom500]I

Girl Game # 1: The Baiting Game

The classic example is "Does this make me look fat?, but also this game can also be disguished as "Is she prettier than I?" or "Am I the best you've ever had?"

It all has to do with wanting to know your guy finds you attractive, I'm more the kind to come straddle your lap and give you a passionate kiss, pull back and ask "how much do you want me".

Girl Game # 2: Your Attention, Please

Even if she doesn't say it, she notices if you remember her sister's layoff or her best friend's pregancy. She wonders about the hidden meaning of your gifts to her.

Absolutly, I want to know that you take an interest in my life just as I take an interest in yours... I don't think there is a hidden meaning in a gift, guys don't spend that much time thinking about it (in general)

Girl Game # 3: What Do You Care?

You were gentlemen enough to walk her to her door for your first few months of dating (you did know enough do to that, right?) but now she checks to see that you at least wait until she's safely inside before speeding home to catch Sport's Center.

This is something I look at on the first date, how considerate are you and do you care about my well being.

Girl Game # 4: The "We Need To Talk" Test

It is no coincidence that she springs those four little words on you in the most inconvenient of time-during the final play of the big game, right before sex or whenever you're otherwise distracted.

I have to admit... I've done this a few times, it usually comes out when for one reason or another we're feeling a bit insecure, its not really a game... more of a test. " Does he care enough to put me first once in a while?"

Girl Game # 5: Sex as a Bargaining Tool

Your suspicions are correct: She does use sex as a weapon. She withholds is when she is mad, gives it when she's trying to placate you, and promises it in return for other goods and services.

I think this is the most outdated ridiculuos concept, total load of crap as far as I'm concerned although I guess there are still a few women like this around.


Girl Game # 6: The Cold Shoulder

Uh-Oh She's mad and you're getting the silent treatment and don't know why (again!).

Most of the time, I'm pretty straight forward about why I'm upset, pissed off etc. but I admit there are times....usually including alcohol that I'm not so straight forward... it can really backfire. My boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument at the local dance club, well not so much an argument as I got pissed off when I didn't get the response I was looking for when I came up and nuzzled his neck. I got angry and left, he wisely followed me out and on the way home he really didn't understand why I was mad, and I thought it was pretty obvious and yes, I pulled one of those "well if you don't know... " silent treatment.

We got into bed when we got home and I turned my back on him wanting him to seduce me back into a "happier state"... next thing I know he's snoring!!! I was so furious... I got out of bed, went to the kitchen filled a glass with water, and yes... you guessed it, flung it all over him. Well all hell broke loose... but it did open up a dialogue. We sorted it out and had great makeup sex in a rather damp bed!

Girl Game # 7; The Jezbel Mind Tricks

She's got a whole arsenal of mind games she can play with you. Including reverse psychology (when she says the opposite of what she wants in order to get you to do exactly what she what wants to do) amd those times when she seems to expect you to be able to read her mind.

Well all I can say to this is that if reverse psychology gets you to do something that asking you doesn't... what kind of games are you playing?[/quote]

Thanks here.......

Since posting this, I have tried to remember a few incidents of where this has occured with myself. And which of these is the most troubling to me.

1) I don't mind giving a lady an honest compliment. Indeed rather enjoy going it.

2) This kind of fits with an honest compliment.....but is also more to
the point are I'm realizing what is going on in your life. If our communications have broken down.....I may not. I may not know if you friends has been laidoff or something that is happening in your family.
Been cuaght on this few a few times. It is hard to know all the areas and activities of a persons life. How do I know that you began daily morning walks in the last days, if we have not talked in 10 days (communication break down). But do I want to know? Yes!

3) Pretty good at this one..doors get opened and chairs are pulled.....lady is returned to door as picked up. Besides they always
do reruns of Sports Center.:-)

4) I have to admit, some of the ladies I have met/dated....know exactly when to make me stop in mid step, or to stop in sip of a drink, or to click off the Super Bowl. I have learned to accept this as one of your intuitive 6th sense abilities........that can take a man from a normal and happy moment of life.....onto the frying pan....in a moment of time. My normal reaction is.....you did what? is that the truth? say that again? or the infamous.....duh, what?

Each of these male reactions, are normally totally expected by the
lady by the way. And she is well prepared to continue the conversation...er....debate.....er arguement..... to a conclusion (often one that is painful for you). Men.....a word of advice here.....if this becomes a frequent occurance of your lady....learn to make quick bathroom runs.....or jogs....or other suitable evasionary tactics....you will need them all.

5) I think that this can work both ways. Sexual incompatiblity is the number two reason for divorce and separation...behind financial concerns.

6) This me is again that both can engage in. Sat and watched a married couple at a airport one day.....not speak or connect with the other for 2 hours. Is often the beginning of a major communications break down in my book.

7) I am going to get bashed for this. So I going write in a non gendered sense....because again I think that both engage in this.
Is this nothing more that manipulation by one person of another? Or maybe fact twisting and distorting...when reverse psychology is used? I have attempted this in the past, this reverse psychology. If you ever have coached a sport tream that is 1 and 18 in record.....your are using every psychological tool that Freud ever came up with. But in adult relationships...I think it bad to do.

In adult relationship reverse psychology is a bad place to go. One of the couple has decided to use the relationship for personal gratification and is exploiting the other...either knowingly or not.
Also the basic trust and honesty of the relationship are likely to be damaged by this. I also think that it happens much more than we like to admit.