Thread:

MEN ARE HAPPIER

Category:
Jokes & Humor

MEN ARE HAPPIER

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Lillym
Sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Apr 11, 2008, 11:01 AM CST
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah.
If Jason, Paul and Simon go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Nik-Nak and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Fat Boy, Nik-Nak and Four-eyes will each throw in £15, even
though it's only for £35.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

laugh
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lorraine
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Apr 11, 2008, 11:27 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
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DizzyDi
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Posted: Apr 11, 2008, 11:28 AM CST
Like the thought for day rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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