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Looks like people nowadays prefer to just have long-term or dating, but avoid or settling down.. Or am I wrong?

sorry for the typos, was distracted

What'chu mean? Are you talking about not getting married but living together?

Well life seems to be so much faster these days?Would love a partner ....vedge garden some chooks and a pony?
Thats my request but well,seems here on line is just humour?
I for one want to be two?as one? if that makes any sense?
Tis a crazy world we live.
Keep smileing is a good one .

Sorry for not being explicit. Yes, I mean why do people tend to live together and stay single.

Goodnight Ping pong
Love that pony of yours.

I've noticed that you do :)
Good night to you cutypie! Here it's only afternoon

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I feel that people stay together but not getting married is that they don't want commitments. In this busy world the priorities are work and carrer for young turks and so they don't want to bring more commitment. In live in relationship there is no official commitment and so either of than can just walk away without any problems. In mairried couple the legal complexities are far too more. I remember my friend in Germany when i met her 4 years back- i asked her that why does she not marry her boyfriend after having stable relationship for nearly 6 yrs and having two daughters. She replied that their commitments towards each other are strong & they don't need a government certificate to stay together. Well it is simple as that it seems. But there are real problems when it comes to long term or life long commitments. And second problem is about childrens born to such couples. Though social stigma is not a problem in western world but the life is miserable for the childrens when their parents seprate( and in any case the sepration rate would be higher in live in relationships).

Or why buy the pig when all you're after is a little sausage?

Maybe because not all people are religiously devout. Marriage is something that was concieved out of religion.
Considering the divorce rate here in Sweden and America, I would venture to say that marriage is seen as something that is not as sacred as it used to be.

Plus, living together first is a wise choice to see how the relationship evolves or dissolves when a couple lives together...kinda like a true test.

Here in Sweden, many couples move in together within a month of dating! Mostly the issue with that is economical, but that kind of fast move in is something that I can never roll with.

Why should couples get married first before moving in together? Who gets to decide? Who gets the benefit of the doubt?

Ok.. so here are my views on relationships and marriage.. now while it can be said that marriage is a social contract and a religious conception.. it does have a very important role.. if it is what it is supposed to be

1. Sex - sex and its portrayal in popular culture and the media, has really desensitised us to what a special thing it is... people are motivated too much by sex when selecting a partner, and are way too quick to have a sexual relationship with them.. there is nothing wrong with sex, and in fact is one of the most enjoyable and satisfying thing that one can share with a partner.. however.. and I am sure alot of us have experienced this.. u meet someone.. the attraction is electric.. u rush into sex and things are great for a while, and when the period of fantastic sex subsides.. u are left thinking... gosh.. I don't really have anything in common with this person.. and in fact I don't really even like them that much... what a waste of time.. why not wait a little.. get to know the person... to love the person... FIRST!! JMHO

2. Marriage for legal and social reasons is the BEST environment for children.. now I know there are alot of single parents out there who are BRILLIANT loving parents.. but be honest.. if you really could wave a magic want. wave a wand.. whatever.. wouldn't you chose a loving commited family unit..... but no. 2 kinda depends on no. 1.. it really should be a relationship based on more than physical attraction and other empty factors..

3. Relationships, particularly where there are children involved.. deserve to be worked at.... ALL relationships, whether romantic or not need effort on both sides and commitment.. its not going to be all rosy in the garden.... but those who work through their problems and stick with it, become the strongest most loving couples into old age... now I know people are going to say what about... infidelity and cruelty etc... that in itself is a symptom of the offending party not taking their commitments seriously.. it has to be BOTH sides or it wont work.. undermining 'Marriage' isn't really the answer to this conundrum.. it is the cause JMO

I think this addressing common law marriage where people have been together for so long it is recognized as a valid marriage with all the perks that come with it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you don't care that you or your kids won't be taken care of if your husband dies, so be it.

I read in the paper where they are trying to make common law marriages valid. But if the people in these unions don't care, why should there need to be a law to protect what they don't care about?

Yes is it the cure or the disease?

Neither.. though I think the undermining of marriage as an important social institution, with very sensible aims is part of the illness in society.. there is no doubt about it.. family is central to a healthy person... a healthy society.. and marriage (when respected and taken seriously) really helps with this...

Nowadays we just seems to think selfishly.. about us.. our needs.. money.. so marriage has been reduced to a short term sexual union.. until the next thing comes along or a means to acquire wealth and property.. now I know this is a drastic way of looking at things.. but I'll bet if you evaluated the divorce statistics in 'developed' societies.. you would probably find that sex (sexual infidelity) and money will be in their somewhere...or a lack of commitment and responsibility within the relationship... taking the commitment seriously and viewing it for what it is and should be, would hopefully lessen the amount of people getting married for the wrong reasons and hopefully lessen divorce and family breakdown..



P.s.. I know I am being contraversial here.. but these are honestly my views

Yes I agree, I believe in the sanction of a committed 'relationship' that is built on the foundation of love and thus offering the children security. I love the idea of marriage but would not enter it lightly and without the strong bond of friendship. Most important to me is knowing that two people must have similar views in many aspects for it to succeed. There is no point being with someone that has opposing views on family life, it only eventually wears it down, no matter how much attraction to begin with. Both people have different roles in a healthy marriage and neither is less important.

I totally agree....I think an element that can be tied in here is our expectations of how our partner should act or be, our expectations of how a relationship should be/ evolve, and our expectations of how our partner should make us happy. Too many people depend all their happiness on their partners in relationships. So if their partner does something that does not exactly fit their picture of perfection, then they think the relationship is wrong or is fading without reasoning away with some level of understanding for their partners and themselves. It has a lot to do with ego, expectations. and how happy one is with her/him self.

Hollywood has totally misled our world with their unrealistic versions of relationships. Too many people react and act according to what they have seen at the movies or on tv.

One should expect major challenges in a relationship...the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly. I agree with Aries, if a couple can manage the tough times and navigate out of the emotional storms together to a deeper level understanding and respect, they become the strongest most loving couples into old age. They love each other more than ever, and do not describe their 40 year marriage as "we survived" as opposed to "we are happier than ever".

If you wanted a cat, then why do you have a dog?

Oh so very true....I know by experience....I took away the family life part in your post to highlight and compliment a parallel point...but I totally agree with your post in it's entirety.

Marriage is potent. It has the force of law, economic advantages, is a sacrament to many religious faiths, and to be married is to generally be held in higher esteem than to merely be a couple cohabiting.