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Yes, they really said this;

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Yes, they really said this;

ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:25 AM CST
*"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman-



I would love to see the stats on just how many people they recorded waking up dead!!!!!!!



professor confused help D'oh!
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:25 AM CST
“Sure. I’m proud to be an American.”


-Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Foster, asked by a Canadian customs agent if he had anything to declare.




hmmm
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:27 AM CST
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."

- Bill Clinton, former U.S. president-


He didn't hope hard enough......professor rolling eyes rolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:28 AM CST
Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?”


-Larry Anderson, MLB pitcher



buddies
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:29 AM CST
*"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."


- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach-



professor hmmm uh oh!


(this one has me....crying )



rolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:30 AM CST
“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”

-Doug Collins former Piston's coach....




cool
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:31 AM CST
“I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.”


-Boxing great Rocky Graziano




wave
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:34 AM CST
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer


"Where the hell is Australia anyway?" - Britney Spears, Pop Singer


Someone else who failed geography class.....idea hmmm laugh



wave
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:35 AM CST
“His nerves. His memory. And I can’t remember the third thing.”


-Lee Trevino on the three things that go as a golfer ages.



idea
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:37 AM CST
"All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath."


-David Miller, US DOE spokesperson, on protecting yourself from nuclear radiation-



professor Please post this on your fridge in case of an impending nuclear attack.....professor rolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:38 AM CST
found in a church bulletin


Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.




rolling on the floor laughing I'm giggling like a school girl now...rolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:40 AM CST
found in a church bulletin....


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”



my eyes are tearing uprolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:41 AM CST
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

rolling on the floor laughing
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:42 AM CST
"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class"

-George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach-



Why some players flunk class.....professor uh oh! rolling on the floor laughing





(I know I have been....crying at a few)
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:43 AM CST
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

lmfaon rolling on the floor laughing


found in church bulletin...........rolling on the floor laughing
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:47 AM CST
I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

Mitch Hedberg...comedian...rip broken heart
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:48 AM CST
"They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on but they also take them off."

-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the air force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers-




professor They must also fly planes for that price!!!!!!!!!!!....uh oh! rolling on the floor laughing
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 1:54 AM CST
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

-former u.s. vice- president Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."-



Thank You....Professor Quayle....professor uh oh! rolling on the floor laughing
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 2:07 AM CST
"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."

-Parish Magazine-



NOW that would be a miracle if he recovers from his untimely death.....professor angel rolling on the floor laughing
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ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Apr 13, 2008, 2:14 AM CST
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken by the sea.

- Jessica Simpson-


I think it's seachicken....idea hmmm rolling eyes D'oh!
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