Posted: Apr 17, 2008, 7:34 PM CST
2008 Darwins!
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged
off a 100-foot high
cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8
foot hole for protection from the wind and had been
sitting in a beach
chair at the bottom when it t collapsed, burying him
beneath 5 feet of
sand. People on the beach used their hands and
shovels trying to get him
out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was
pronounced dead at a
hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell
through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was
caused when the long flash light he had placed in
his mouth to keep his
hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he
hit the floor.
Fourth Place
A single dude from Denark was killed as he
won a bet with friends who said he would not put a
revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car
parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J
Leather & Firearms
intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of
customers and a
uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon
seeing the officer,
the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a
few wild shots from
a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly
returned fire, and
several customers also drew their guns and fired.
The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime
scene investigators
located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The
subsequent autopsy
revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified
rounds from 7
different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored
just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter
stick of dynamite to
toss out the window to see what would happen.
Apparently they failed to
notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several
friends when one of them said they knew a person who
had bungee-jumped
from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The
conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway
of the bridge at
4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge
they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay
near by. They
secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied
the other to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his
fall into the icy
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never
located.
AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn,
Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of
animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes
before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil
enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the
elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where
he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200
pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents
that proves.. 'S*** happens'.
THEY WALK AMOUNG US....
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE
FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.
Thank God the gene pool has a way of thinning itself out!