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So. I met a guy off this site. He was very nice, interesting etc etc and we dated for about 6 months.

BUT. He had a particular issue, which I have come across since then with my girlfriends who have also experienced this very strange phenomena.

So what is the deal with guys not wanting to know where you live? I have heard excuses from sudden illness, to bouts of forgetfulness, to actual lies. Boys - please enlighten me!

These are my theories:

1. Commitment phobia. He can't come to my apartment because its too much of a commitment. Even after 6 months.
2. He is frightened of where I live. It is after all extremely scary. Apparently.
3. He has a real fear that I squeeze the toothpaste tube and not roll it up, and can't bare to find out the horrific truth about my living habits.
4. He thinks I might be married and just haven't told him yet.
5. He is worried that I might lock him in the apartment in an attempt to get us to live together. (PERlease - get over yourself.)
6. The most likely scenario - he actually can't be bothered and he wants everything on his terms.

Anyway, enough is enough. He had to go. But while I can understand it was just his particular strangeness, how come this very same thing has happened to my girlfriends.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this!

O.K.....here is my theory!! He is a terrorist!!

He has fallen deeply and madly in love with you and fears that if he knows where you live, he will be obligated to blow up your house. Therefore...he doesn't want to know where you live so he doesn't have to kill you!!

So you had a boyfriend for six months and he never visited you? Not even for sexing? Not even for a late night booty call? This story does not add up. Was he hung as a field mouse?....not that it matters....

Maybe he thought your gay friend might want to visit him

why didn't you ask for pics?

I reckon its a clear case of control. Better to get you onto his "turf" where you might be out of your comfort zone and he can control everything (what happens, when, where, how, etc.). If you are in a generous mood, maybe his ego is so fragile he's afraid of you being in control. But more likely he's so paraoid about being "controlled by women" that you're better off without the likes of him.

Well, you did ask.......Peter

pics?

haha, see above.......unless you already did, and you are passing it off as your own idea....

Thank you Peter - I'm fairly sure you're right. And I'm extremely better off with out him!

I knew you were going to be a pest....

I still think it was something to do with the gay guy

What answer were u expecting???

True - but did I mention that he refused to meet any of my friends as well.....

Theres no better mate than a gay man...unless you're a very pretty straight man with a permanent stoop. Then I'd probably be a bit more careful.....

How could you explain this so clearly when I had to experience the deep pain of learning to come to the same conclusions. I know he feared being out of control and I actually witnessed him panic. But I think the poor baby wanted a mother. I do think his ego was fragile and he feared abandonment. And he doesn't want to be controlled but he is controlled by his father with THINGS and not having to accept responsibility for himself. He was a smart, sexy freak too...too bad!
His fear controls him. It's his master.

Emmm...


What are you like in bed ??

OMG! SEE!

GLOBAL PHENOMENA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently not good enough to lure anyone back to my apartment with the promise of a shag....

HELLO!!

Because he was a married man

Probably on the right track, I mean, who in their right mind gives up the opportunity to not only create a wet patch, mess the bed up and various other opportunity's... and get up in the morn and leave it all behind!!!! fruitus loopus

Thats what four years of navel gazing (i.e. studying psychotherapy) does, with a few life-changing experiences thrown in. My apologies here and now to a certain (unnamed) woman who was part of that learning. All men have mothers who tried to control them. Some men grow up and seek out women as life partners. Some dont and re-inact the non-existent fight with their mother.