hurtdude
Surfers Paradise, Queensland Australia
Posted: Apr 24, 2008, 11:12 AM CST
To my ex,
I loved you more than I could ever love again, you stayed with me for over 10 years, for that I thank you, I knocked down all the walls I had built up against being hurt, it didn't do me much good. I would have put myself between you and a great white shark, you fobbed me off without so much as an explanation, after 10 years I feel as though I need an explanation. You cried after the last time we slept together.....why? If it caused that much pain, why did you do it? I don't understand. I never hit you, I never yelled at you, I really don't think I did anything wrong, all I did was ask you to marry me. How can I ever ask someone to marry me again? I don't know if I can trust like I trusted you. The walls are back up. The bridges are burning, the sad thing is the thing I dream of is that someday we will get back together but I can't if I am going to ever have a feeling of self worth. I still wake up in the middle of the night and reach for you. I know it's fucked up but I need to know why?
What did I do? I was standing at the altar in a suit you had organised and you didn't show up. I haven't seen you since the wedding rehersal, i gave the honeymoon tickets to my parents, they are in france right now. I am not shit so why do I still feel like I am 7 months later?