Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

Recently befriended a great guy that is a potential 'more than friends.'
He works as a photgrapher and we have been hanging out together often over the last weeks...
Anyway the point of this I notice when we go out some people blatantly stare...( he is dark-skinned..well caramel to be exact as he is half Jamaican..and fine!)
I find their distasteful looks to be absurd in this day and age..I have dated a few men of other cultures and never really consider it a problem.
It got me to thinking about interracial relationships and the problems that arise with exogamy...what are your thoughts and do you consider it acceptable to both yourself and your extended family??

Exceptable to me. Probably not most of my family.

people are people no matter what color they are.... I guess being from Chicago, and a very diverse family, I never paid any attention to the color of ones skin. I am now in Arizona, and it seems that even more people date outside of thier race here...I guess, you should go with whatever makes you happy, and dont focus on who is staring at you, focus on the person you are with.

I've only been on a brief visit to Ireland, so don't know if this issue is about the culture there or what. In the States I had a couple of long term relationships with black men, one three years long. Some people look, but I don't think most were staring or had looks of distaste. Anyway, I just ignore it. I got used to it early on as one of my first boyfriends, in high school, was a black guy. Maybe in the States we're more used to seeing interracial couples. Anyway, in the long run, it shouldn't matter at all what other people think--different culture, race--whatever. It could be a problem when/if there are children, but my observation is that strong, thoughtful parenting can overcome that, or anything else.

Very first girlfriend was black. So I never had, never will have a problem with it.

Family are pretty much rascist and I'm from NC (the South).
I have zero tolerance for rasicm and actually ask a potential gf if she is racist because I feel so strongly about it. If she is, then I'm gone.

Thanks hun..I don't have a problem at all or even really notice...its the soul of a person that attracts me rather than the ASS souls....

I was more interested in thoughts about extended families and a serious relationship...I have faced cultural problems previously that went beyond the colour of the skin..Yes raising children in a mixed realtionship can be difficult..I have two adopted littleys from another country and find they even have certain needs that I have to address..
thanks hun..

Yeh, It's too common here for people to gaze, unless they are intrigued by how much the couple is inlove and showing public affection. If you are staring at anything for too long here in the states, people would think you are just a tourist, and offer assistance, they may say things like, Um, is there a problam, are you ok, what the hell are you looking at, got an eye problem, need help, are you lost, etc etc...

I only care about upsetting my dad, and I've already upset him once over this kind of thing..... wasn't worth it (weird co-dependent type thing - not bad but not really love or anything)

But I've always been of the opinion that if it IS love (and if it's real - honestly don't know how you can tell) who cares what other people think and how they look at you. Absurd or not, you can't control what they think and it shouldn't affect you anyway.

People in my neighbourhood did weird stuff like put a couple of dolls - one black one white - in their windows facing my house. One night they pushed his car into the crossroads and then called the police. They smashed flower pots in my front yard. I was with him 3 years. The dolls stayed up for about 7 years!! Nothing ever seemed so bad as you might think, cause on a level, I thought we loved each other and I had peace.

Hi Zarah

Hi hun..
Yes I think my father would be distressed although he is not racially prejudice..just concerned more about difficulties of others perceptions...lol...I think he would say all Jamaicans smoke weed though God love him...he is really old school!

You poor thing to endure such narrowminded neighbours...I am sure they are walking on water as we speak.

I know that about you without you even telling me Barry...you are just too sweet..

It was only one nasty old couple across the street....

I've lived here 20 years. Most of my neighbours have always been very kind to me, really.

My parents had difficulty accepting these relationships, at first. But, their real problem wth me is that I'm so obstreperous, i.e.:"stubbornly resistant to control," So, if it wasn't that, it was something else. In the long run, they came to accept it and lose their racist ideas. My older brother now has 2 interracial kids, and my folks are crazy about them. It has opened up their eyes and their hearts, even though it was difficult at first.

Love it...tend to be hard to tether myself..rambunctious..

give em' hell...

That's lovely.....

The last bit , I mean!!!
Not!!! the part about you being "obstreperous"

Is there any other way??

Rambunctious!!!

It is politically incorrect to say you oppose these sort of relationships...so I doubt that you are getting 100% honest answers!!

I don't know about where you live...but in America, racism is alive and well. Barack O'Bama is living proof of this!

It is just sad when people hate other because of the color of their skin and they call them out hete them because of the color of there skin in every post you just have to feel sorry for people like that and that what so wrong with america sad but true

Not sure how it is in Ireland, but in England, I find the subtlety of racism one of the most difficult things to deal with. It's the fact that rarely will anyone actually say anything, but you feel the disapproval.

It is really sad.

I've had relationships with people from other races, and it's never been an issue for us, but it has been an issue for the people around us. The people closest to you do get to know your partner and consequently, I think, do tend to get over it eventually. But the social stuff more generally doesn't go away.

I guess Bob Marley said it grandly...

Until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war and until there are no longer first-class and second-class citizens of any nation, until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes. And until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race, there is war. And until that day, the dream of lasting peace, world citizenship, rule of international morality, will remain but a fleeting illusion to be pursued, but never attained...now everywhere is war.....

Well I spoke today with Bastian about it and he says to me...lol
What I did not yet know so intensely was the hatred of the white for the black, a hatred so deep that I wonder if every white man in this world, when he plants a tree, doesn't see Negroes hanging from its branches....

At least he has a sense of humour...