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i have 2 sons aged 11 & 4 who stay with me 2-3 days/nights per week. sundays in particular are usually a total nightmare. getting woken up by the kids jumping up and down on my bed demanding breakfast.....making breakfast for them (once they've finally decided what they want) then washing up followed by a quick clean around the house. today, since the weather was nice i decide to take them out for the day. once we got back it was a quick cup of tea then onto preparing tea (followed by more washing up). then it was onto bath time - while i cleaned up their newly laid mess and put their school uniforms in the wash. put them down to bed after 9pm, ANOTHER quick tidy, washed some stuff they'd left out and then it was onto ironing their school stuff and sorting out the rest of their clothes and putting them away - and that's before i even get started with my OWN stuff. a pretty exhausting day in anyone's book i reckon. as i said, i only have them 2-3 days per week so i take my hat off to you guys who do this 24/7. u all deserve a bloody medal!!!

That is adorable !!!!!!!


I can't wait to have my own!

I'll take the kudos sweetie. I know you enjoy your children. I would have loved to have more than one, but it wasn't in the cards for me.

of course. i love them with all my heart. i too wanted another, i totally adore babies. think time is beginning to run out for me though

Yes i have 2 lovely boys(monsters)

Ahhhhh...it's bittersweet when a man recognizes the demands of single parenting as you have done. There's a part of me that is glad that your awareness level has been raised and another part of me that feels for you, having to do this on your own (sort of a brotherhood thing, if you will). I raised 2 sons, also, and vividly recall scenes such as you describe. It used to drive me nuts at times, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I'm sure you know what I mean. Keep up the good work, Dad...it's the best job in the world.

yeh, my boy is 4 and will be 5 soon and is with me everyday.... If he goes away for the weekend, I seem to sometimes find myself a bit lost, like now.... On CS, trying to fill time until he arrives..... between his school, theatre, and my work, I never feel I spend as much time as I'd like with him, even tho I have him everyday. So, times when he has played in mud and has goey stuff in his hair, I somehow enjoy all the time it takes to get it out. :) And even tho I am a bit tired at the end of the night, it is a happy tired.

I have raised one son and now am currently raising another son i love every minute and wouldnt change things [but in saying that i take my hat of to those people who have more than one to raise alone]

yes i've been driven nuts on occasion. who hasn't? a few weeks back i was even driven to tears because i was having difficulty coping. then i felt so guilty that i was struggling to cope when they needed me. fortunately, i had a friend on hand who assured me that this was all quite normal and gave me some very good advice on routines - and bribery

haha thank you

But I draw the bloody line at ironing.. :: spits :::

Phew! yeah.. what would we do without them sometimes

The difficulty/ tears thing.. yeah that's normal imo..

I do respect how great of a mother my kids mom is. I cherish that. She really works hard to do her best and she is doing a perfect job as a single mother.And I do my best to be the best father when I have my kids.

My kids are nothing but happiness. So the break up with their mom and I, has not affected them in a negative way at all. I am good friends with the kids mom.

so, were u like too painful for her? lol just playing...dont answer that.

my hat goes off to all parents out there at the moment my bairn is in bed all snug and sounding silly with his baby snores

I guess I was, but in non-sexing ways. Everything I did seemed to bring pain to her....I could never do the right thing in her little perfect world as to how I should act and react....we were just too different....and had a tough time reaching a mutual and respectful way of understanding back in the day.

yeh, we (women) can sometimes ask for too much, and men, can sometimes not ask for what it is they actually want..... it could go both ways ofcourse

I can say that I also asked of too much from her...back in the day when I had misconceptions of how she should be, but I really tried to roll with it...she would refuse to roll with it, instead insist on changing me. Anyways, that is in the past. I am not blaming her, just agreeing on the both ways statement. That relationship was really complicated....

Interesting similarities.



Then the other way too.BEEN THERE!>>>>

Just wanted to say.I CAN RELATE.

Glad the kids are cool with BOTH of you.

My 3 children have been throo an awful LOT of things that children should never have to go through.

It forced them to grow up pretty quickly and see that the world was not rose tinted after all. (Bless them!!)



They have had years of counselling until more recently (one more than the other two)..

I have one son who remained top of the class in everything, Head boy at his school.. school (children's) counsellor.. and all that Jazz.. but bit his fingernails to the bone..

A daughter who was very very wobbly in it all.. (with a disease that took 6yrs to work throo and a gazillion operations 350 miles away.. bed pans wheelchairs.. body casts .. leg braces.. etc).. She was effected very badly throo it all.. (my marriage) and would scream and scream and SCREAM her lungs out (for up to a HOUR) even until the age of 11yr.. (shes 13 now) and used suffered the most horrifying night terrors... she used to pull out her hair in handfuls too.. until she had BIG bleeding bald patches.

And my youngest son.. (who is 12 now).. suffered the most..
He is the MOST charming polite.. kindest most caring and thoughtful child of my three.. and he completely went off the rails for a while there.

He went from being top of his classes (he has a high IQ) to being EXPELLED from TWO schools by the age of 9yrs.. and another when he was 10yrs old.. (expelled from THREE schools by the age of 10yrs!) I cried and cried and cried.. because I just didn't know what else to do to help him.

I taught him at home for a while because no school would take him.. (I tried MANY!) The Social Services tried to make me send him away to a behavioural boarding school 200 miles away where he would come home at weekends. But there was no waaayyy I was going to let that happen.. he was lost enuff as it was..
Finally I managed to get him into a teaching unit where he attended 4 part time days per week. and the rest of the time I taught him. (it was a FANTASTIC place! not the horror stories I had heard)

If I had a £1 (or $1) for every meeting I have attended with Doctors, Behavioural Specialists, Psychiatric Nurses.. Schools, Psychotherapists.. Art therapists.. Hospitals.. Other Therapists.. Social Services (at MY request btw!)... Single Counselling for each child (none for me btw.. I talk enuff as it is lol).. Family Counselling.. meetings with the Police.. and Review Meetings..

I would be a frickin MILLIONAIRE!!

BUT!!!... the upshot of it is.. though we nearly lost it there for a while.. we made it.. It's been a bumpy 5-6yrs.. wonky at first.. but everyone is alive and kicking.. and HAPPY!

Gage has been in a REAL school again since last September.. has loads of friends.. and has slowly become his beautiful old style self.. Annie doesn't scream the place down any more and is a happy bouncy girl.... and Jake is off to college soon to study Science..

and SOMEWHERE I still have a sense of humour.

And yeah.. though I DO say it myself.. It's been very VERY hard.. (I work too)

I KNOW I deserve a medal... at least for not chucking myself off a cliff!



and this is not looking for 'praise' ... or I would have told you before.