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Too flamin RIGHT!

(ermm I haven't read the rest yet)

Hellooooooo

I never judged, just told her to get her OWN life....I can put myself in both women's places....one woman, unknowing, everything is fine in her life.....the other woman, masked by a man's control, in robo.....I have the capacity to feel sorry for both. However, the way the op posted, it was more of a pity party type post, and I think that is where the problem lies. No one feels sorry for her-stealing moments with another's man....another woman who cares for him, has his kids and takes care of her family...I highly doubt what he tells the op about her is the truth.

This, my friend, comes from experience. Only, I never felt sorry for myself. I did learn a lot about this type of situation, and it is invaluable experience. The only thing that I can say in my defense is the person in question was "going through a divorce"... Didn't take me long to figure out that this was just a line from him...I'm quite sure I never broke his heart when I left, his wife is the one that had his heart....sadly, I'm sure that I wasn't the last.....

jms...........

Oops! 2 Effing Close
Farkoff
Cornwall
UK


29th April 2008 Dear Mr Indy,

I am writing to ask permission to use one of your favourite phrases.
I don't give a flying f*ck
It is also one of my own.

I hope this request is acceptable to you, and that you will not be requiring payment of royalties.Yours Sincerely

Claayer

So now, for the past 5 years (almost as long as Joe has been married) we've been carrying on a relationship behind his wife's back. He's unhappy with her but does not make false promises that he has plans of leaving her. I'm ok with this for the most part except I don't get the time I'd like to have with him. I don't get to do normal couple stuff with him like go out on dates, spend the night together, take him to my friend's weddings. I have to spend time with him outside of our hometown for fear that someone who knows his wife will see us together and she'll find out. I want her to find out, I want her to know that he loves me, that he wants me and that she's not enough for him. She treats him like he's a doormat and I can't stand it. She takes advantage of him and I just wish I could do something about it. My heart is completely invested in him and that's why I can't seem to find someone else who I can be with.

Bottom line, I have no idea what to do.. Any suggestions??????

Thanks everyone!!

Calli

When this sort of thing happens, do people ever really get over it?
I've never cheated on anyone and have never been cheated on (to my knowledge) by anyone.
Can a person move on with their life and meet someone without a past experience like that getting in the way?

When this sort of thing happens, do people ever really get over it?
I've never cheated on anyone and have never been cheated on (to my knowledge) by anyone.
Can a person move on with their life and meet someone without a past experience like that getting in the way?

weighing on my mind very heavily for the past 8 years.. Yes I said 8 years....

The reason I'm starting to date again is because for the past 8 years I've been in love with the same man. It all started when I was 17 years old and my first boyfriend, the first guy I ever truely loved broke my heart. I had a neighbor. My neighbor was 27. We started hanging out, he gave me advice, explained to me that thigns like this happen and while it sucks there will always be someone better.

As time went on my neighbor, we'll call him Joe, and I became closer and closer and a certain chemisty that neither of us could deny ensued. We fought it until finally one night I was sitting out on his back deck late into the night with him and he kissed me. My heart skipped a beat, it was the most passionate, sensual, gentle amazing kiss I had ever felt. That was it, I was hooked. Joe and I fooled around, and saw eachother for quite sometime after that until he moved away. We tried to keep in touch but things tapered off. When he finally came back I was in a great relationship with a great guy who pulled me out of a very dark place in my life... Then Joe came back. I told him about this wonderful man who rescued me from myself and he was happy for me. Because I was in this relationship I failed to tell Joe how I felt about him. Then Joe got his roommate pregnant and they got married.

Not too long down the line me and that great guy went our separate ways and I got the courage to tell Joe how I really felt about him. The only problem was that it was too late. Joe was already married to this wreched woman who treated him like dirt.

I am sorry to have to say but Kissme is right.. and this guy is a manipulative coward.. he wants to have his cake and eat it.. the person he choses to remain with is his wife.... what does that say?... its an age old excuse.. used by countless men who want to play on the side.. "my wife doesn't understand me, my wife doesn't treat me right".. .dump him!! that is the only realistic way of finding out.. though I wouldn't even bother with him then.... cause you will never be able to trust him..

Also ask yourself this.. why are you depending on men to 'make you feel better'... happiness and self worth has to come from within..



So now, for the past 5 years (almost as long as Joe has been married) we've been carrying on a relationship behind his wife's back. He's unhappy with her but does not make false promises that he has plans of leaving her. I'm ok with this for the most part except I don't get the time I'd like to have with him. I don't get to do normal couple stuff with him like go out on dates, spend the night together, take him to my friend's weddings. I have to spend time with him outside of our hometown for fear that someone who knows his wife will see us together and she'll find out. I want her to find out, I want her to know that he loves me, that he wants me and that she's not enough for him. She treats him like he's a doormat and I can't stand it. She takes advantage of him and I just wish I could do something about it. My heart is completely invested in him and that's why I can't seem to find someone else who I can be with.

Bottom line, I have no idea what to do.. Any suggestions??????

Thanks everyone!!

Calli

Here's my penneth, for whats it worth.........

Yeah you might love him, but he married someone else and has a family and are you willing to break this up ?

Like has already been stated, this man is having an affair with you, what makes you think that he will be faithful to you, assuming everything works out to your hope and he leaves his wife.

Have you ever been cheated apon? Did this tear you apart? Well for many having this done to them is to put it bluntly a psychological trauma, that takes ages to recover from and trust in people of the opposite sex basically are you happy to inflict this on another person?

If he doesnt leave his wife how many excuses will you endure before ending basically using you for additional sex outside his marriage?

What happens if his wife names you as the reason for the break up of the marriage?

What happens if you fall pregnant to this man? I suspect and fear that the possibility that he may leave you in a terrible position is more than 50/50.

The most sensible approach is end the affair, let the man make his decision on his marriage without any influence from you, as his marriage wether good bad or indifferent is between him and his spouse.

I'm not being judgemental but its far safer to find a man who isnt involved already.Some things arent meant to be, and i have first hand experience of your deliema myself, but theres one difference, even though i dearly loved her i wouldnt even try to break up her family or marriage to just well get what i wanted.

Move on or you will have years of regret, and there could be consequences if you dont, from his wife.

Has as already been said there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Good luck, but i'd end it as fast as possible if i were you.

weighing on my mind very heavily for the past 8 years.. Yes I said 8 years....

The reason I'm starting to date again is because for the past 8 years I've been in love with the same man. It all started when I was 17 years old and my first boyfriend, the first guy I ever truely loved broke my heart. I had a neighbor. My neighbor was 27. We started hanging out, he gave me advice, explained to me that thigns like this happen and while it sucks there will always be someone better.

As time went on my neighbor, we'll call him Joe, and I became closer and closer and a certain chemisty that neither of us could deny ensued. We fought it until finally one night I was sitting out on his back deck late into the night with him and he kissed me. My heart skipped a beat, it was the most passionate, sensual, gentle amazing kiss I had ever felt. That was it, I was hooked. Joe and I fooled around, and saw eachother for quite sometime after that until he moved away. We tried to keep in touch but things tapered off. When he finally came back I was in a great relationship with a great guy who pulled me out of a very dark place in my life... Then Joe came back. I told him about this wonderful man who rescued me from myself and he was happy for me. Because I was in this relationship I failed to tell Joe how I felt about him. Then Joe got his roommate pregnant and they got married.

Not too long down the line me and that great guy went our separate ways and I got the courage to tell Joe how I really felt about him. The only problem was that it was too late. Joe was already married to this wreched woman who treated him like dirt.

So now, for the past 5 years (almost as long as Joe has been married) we've been carrying on a relationship behind his wife's back. He's unhappy with her but does not make false promises that he has plans of leaving her. I'm ok with this for the most part except I don't get the time I'd like to have with him. I don't get to do normal couple stuff with him like go out on dates, spend the night together, take him to my friend's weddings. I have to spend time with him outside of our hometown for fear that someone who knows his wife will see us together and she'll find out. I want her to find out, I want her to know that he loves me, that he wants me and that she's not enough for him. She treats him like he's a doormat and I can't stand it. She takes advantage of him and I just wish I could do something about it. My heart is completely invested in him and that's why I can't seem to find someone else who I can be with.

Bottom line, I have no idea what to do.. Any suggestions??????

Thanks everyone!!

Calli

Very nicely stated, Robbie.

I hate when people make excuse for cheating..

I am sorry to have to say but Kissme is right.. and this guy is a manipulative coward.. he wants to have his cake and eat it.. the person he choses to remain with is his wife.... what does that say?... its an age old excuse.. used by countless men who want to play on the side.. "my wife doesn't understand me, my wife doesn't treat me right".. .dump him!! that is the only realistic way of finding out.. though I wouldn't even bother with him then.... cause you will never be able to trust him..

Also ask yourself this.. why are you depending on men to 'make you feel better'... happiness and self worth has to come from within..

I dont cheat....................................
Except at strip poker

I'll give you a life time pass to use "flying f-ck" anytime you want. But, use it in a respectful way.Mr. F-ck

I know you wont want to hear this..but here i go...messing arouond with another womans man is a no no...put the shoe on the other foot..it dont matter how you feel about him..He is Married..off limits..he wont leave her come on..that is the oldest line in the book..You will be the one to get hurt...and you are hurting another and the family..Best advice Leave and dont keep doing what you are doing.