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The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....

When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?

Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?

Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?

You should always love the person for who they are.

to much emphasis put on the word compromise and not enough on the word negotiate.....JMO, of course

If i'm in a relationship with someone

I wouldn't want that person to change

Or try to make me change

If you like/love someone is cuz who they are

Why take that beauty away by changing?

JMO

I will consider changing my underware!

If they dont like me as I am.. they may as well keep walking.

This may sound kind of selfish, but...

The most important relationship is the one I have with myself and my Higher Power. If I'm going to change it's for self improvement, not because someone else wants me to. I will compromise, but not at the expense of my values beliefs or me as a person. I don't expect a person to change in order to suit me, we either accept each other as we are or not, and if not there can be no relationship. I will however point out to the person I am in the relationship with if it's not going to work, why it's not going to work for me. I don't want someone that is going to compromise themselves for me either. If we keep our expectations low or out of the picture all together, we aren't disappointed. Accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are. All will be well

Everyone has to be willing to make some small changes.

How about you help me change the sheets afterwards?

Thats whats wrong with the world today so much change and nothing is staying the same. Be who we are not who they want us to be.

Mutual respect and admiration and sometimes compromise if or when, I ought to say, it comes down to it.

Seriously.. I dont ask for much change in a partner, but I tend to look for someone with qualities that I find attractive.

But....... I must say, the case is most often that the people we meet are playing a front, that in time falls apart.
Then they change back to what they really are, and cant seem to understand why the relationship falls apart.

I think if it starts out honest, there is no need for major changes.

How about some makeup!! You are so pale!

Well what many do is feed off what you have been through and use it at first part of a relationship and as time go on you find out they are full of bs. and never who they were fronting to be anyway.. Think about it perfect person in a perfect world hmmmm fairy tale if you ask me.

A very hard question that deserves a thoughtful reply!

People should not try and change their personality - that would cause conflict and resentment.

A couple are different from two individuals on their own, but they are still two individuals and there is no reason to try and make one or both less as personalities for the sake of the 'union'.

Compromise is only acceptable when both parties are happy with the outcome; if one person gives up something precious to them just to make the other person 'happy' it's not going to work if the person giving up something is not really happy about it.

Respect for each other is just so important; to take the other person for granted is almost a 'sin' in my view.

My worst sin in my own mind regarding my own experiences from the past is something I've done that I believe many of us are guilty of - taking out bad feelings from work etc on our loved ones.

We have to maintain, mostly, a civil relationship with people we meet both at work and in social situations - we should do our best to remember that those people we are so civil with are not as important to us as our immediate family members....so we should treat our family better (not worse!) than complete strangers we are so 'nice' to!

So - we should change when it suits us by being able to reach compromises that are satisfactory to both of us, but we should NOT change in the way of 'familiarity breeds contempt'........ to take out feelings of frustration by being rude and grumpy and snapping at somebody who loves you is not a good idea!

Good reply - mutual respect is vital in my opinion!

I don't mind doing that

I agree with this 100%. I continually strive to make myself a better person. A relationship for me is centered around companionship. Can two people get along and enjoy their time together. So I compromise, and on occasion I even accommodate. So I say, yes, I change. It only makes sense to give happiness to get it back.

Good question Serenity... ... honestly? I have done all of the above in the past... I have 'changed' unconcsiously... I have tried to compromise (though there are certain things that I will never compromise on) etc..

Having been there and bought the T-shirt with the battle scars to show for it (so to speak) ... I definitely think the best thing to be is urself.. if you are urself you are most likely to attract (and be attracted to) your own type, and if you are sufficiently capatible.. compromise will be less (cause you will have so much in common).. methinks... am still a work in progress

Brilliant answer and so true... especially the higher power bit.. if you place ur complete trust in God.. u will never go too far wrong.. he WILL lead you in the right direction.. and that includes I think.. putting the right people in your path..