Thread:

Sex Quotes (saw this and thought of you lot)

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Jokes & Humor

Sex Quotes (saw this and thought of you lot)




dillydally
behind the big green fields , Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 3:49 PM CST
believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Tom Clancy

"You know 'that look" women get when they want sex?...... Me neither." Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is," Barbara Bush (Former U.S. First Lady, and, you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor!)

"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. ! Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
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Bowie
winter haven, Florida USA
Posted: May 1, 2008, 3:53 PM CST
um, where do you get these rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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dcj22
Somewhere, Minnesota USA
Posted: May 1, 2008, 3:56 PM CST
Fabulous! wine
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StressFree
small city, Kalmar Sweden
Posted: May 1, 2008, 3:57 PM CST
That was awesome dilly....I laughed at all of them....
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Crystal29
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 3:59 PM CST
Brilliant....particularly the Robin Williams quotes laugh
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dillydally
behind the big green fields , Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:02 PM CST
robin williams and jack nicholsons quotes just cracked me up laugh
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dillydally
behind the big green fields , Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:03 PM CST
Bowie wrote:
um, where do you get these


from the book under your bed love rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Crystal29
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:04 PM CST
dillydally wrote:
robin williams and jack nicholsons quotes just cracked me up


brill I agree....Robin Williams and Billy Connolly just totally make me lose it.....sides almost split with laughing at them....applause
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dillydally
behind the big green fields , Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:07 PM CST
Crystal29 wrote:
brill I agree....Robin Williams and Billy Connolly just totally make me lose it.....sides almost split with laughing at them....




love billy connolly ,could listen and watch him all day dancing banana my hero applause
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Crystal29
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:12 PM CST
dillydally wrote:
love billy connolly ,could listen and watch him all day my hero


Yep hes the master without a doubt...yay where dya stay by the way?
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dillydally
behind the big green fields , Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:13 PM CST
Crystal29 wrote:
Yep hes the master without a doubt... where dya stay by the way?



glasgow south side ,you ?wine
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Crystal29
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: May 1, 2008, 4:15 PM CST
dillydally wrote:
glasgow south side ,you ?

Just outside Glasgow ....so not far away....ya like it here handshake
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