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How can life sometimes hit some so hard, one almost can’t recover?
What are the bases of the decisions …who gets the good staff and who gets the bad?
A very good friend of mine, 47 now, is taking care of her 82 yo mother, immobilized in bed for the past 10 years…..she gave up on so many things, including a personal life and a chance of a relationship, to make sure her mom is well cared for …and she is really genuine in her love.

Last week, out of the blue, we took her to the hospital; she got admitted into the ER with kidney failure, respiratory insufficiency, and plenty of other symptoms that would scare one just mentioning them.

Couple of her close friends were with her and witnessed her slipping away under our own eyes….peritoneal dialysis, hemodialysis, slowly loosing her ….
It makes you sad, it fills you with rage and helplessness…..you want to hold on and refuse to say good bye….

Her only other family is another sister that leaves away and has no intention of planning solutions for the “what if” situation.

It’s just not fair….couple of days ago I saw her before leaving for Romania….and I refuse to think it might be the last time I saw her…..I just don’t want to let go…but it’s not up to me, or any of my friends for that matter.

That's death...sad as it is, that's reality. My condolences to you and your family.

I'm going through the same thing with my best friends mother. I've known her mother as long as I've known my friend, 27 years. They were there for me 18 months ago when I lost my mother. I'll be there for them. But you're right, it's so hard to see them slipping away. My mother died very suddenly. It was shock, but I don't think I could have handled watching her slowly slip away. She was too young - only 67 - but I'm glad she died quickly as she did.

You'll all be in my thoughts hun.

Thank you and sorry for yout loss D!
It is never easy and one never gets used with facing it!
It's even harder for me to take it because i used to be on the other side , the active one ( I used to be a doctor) so you wish they would do more, you know they clould do more...but in the same time you know it won't probably help much....and the friend in you and the friend in you wants to hold on....

Thank you!

Sometimes, it's just the way luck hits you. Even though I don't believe in god, I still feel as though everything thrown at me is a test, something only given to me because I am able to overcome it. I know that's not true, really, but that's how I take it. Bad things happen, and all you can do is move on. Take a bad situation and learn something from it. Take something good from it. My boyfriend is the most unlucky kid ever. His sister went missing from the college I currently go to and was never found, his brother overdosed twice, his mother is dying from terminal cancer, his other sister is dying from alcoholism, his mother and siblings used to be psycho and there was constant emotional abuse and physical abuse in his household as a child, he is providing for himself and has been since he was 16-17 years old, and so many other things. But somehow, he is the kindest, gentlest, good hearted person I have ever met in my life. Meeting him, I would never have guessed he has had such a life. I've had a rough past as well, not as rough as your friend, but still something good comes from every bad thing that happens. Take what you've learned from it, take the good thing and make it a part of yourself. Have the bad things in life mold you into a better person. It's hard watching another person suffer but as long as they have someone like you to support them, they should know it. They know they're not alone. And that's the best thing that anyone could ever ask for. All you can do is hope, and be there for her, and never forget her.

Death is a part of life just as birth is a part of life.

Hi Bri.... Thank you sweety, you are right!And I hope things will turn out better and better for both of you too!

My sympathy to you. Life is never easy. I think it gets harder in some ways as we get older seeing so many things slipping away. I've often thought it might be a good idea to eliminate the word WHY from my vocabulary.

True...seems it's much easier taking the facts and dealing with them...the Why part is when it's gets more painful!

Life can get extremely hard..may you find the strength you need in these moments..
I don't think we are handed anything we cannot handle..it just seems difficult in the hour but you will find the courage and guidance you need...Especially women have the ability to draw inner strength..
God be with you..

That story has brought a tear to my eye.. genuinely, I am going to right now say a heart felt prayer for her...

Can we all say a prayer for her?? please.. I really hope she will be ok and have a second chance to live a life for herself...

If the worst happens though (which i sincerely hope it doesn't).... she DEFINITELY has a special place waiting for her... such selflessness is rare to see

Thank you!
We should start a thread on this...why women have the ability to go through life's hardships in a more composed and in control form, compared to men?
But you're right.....we never encounter rocks bigger than what we can turn...we just need to find the way to do it!

Thank you, that's so sweet!

We all her friends, told he we want to have her back with us, and we're all here waiting, so she has to fight back. She deserves to live her adult life in her own way....for as long as that might be....
I do believe there is somebody watching over each of us.....It might need some extra help from us at times. Thank you for the thought of the prayer!

I am hoping he hears me cause I could only refer to her at the 47 year old friend of the girl from the Internet .... I believe that prayer can help.. I have had some amazing confirmations of that in my life time... its good that she has you all aswell though... its nice to know that you have all these people who care for you and are rooting for you.. that warmth will endure in her heart

I say this earlier, and decided to opt not to post.

Have just switched on the computer and read all the posts.

Somehow women have the ability to share grieving better then male do. Not that we don't, but situations such as this make us close up into ourselves and do it more intimately and privately. Maybe it causes more pain that way then sharing, don't really know.

Maybe that is why there are more female threads overall.

It doesn't mean however that we lack the capacity of sadness. It is just that maybe, the entire system has programmed us not to show it.

My sincere heartfelt condolencres in this situation, and may your God guide u.

Love and kisses.

Her name is Ludi and if you ever felt and saw a ball of strong and bright energy, influencing everything around and turning negative into positive with her tough...well, that's her!

She is a spa therapist and she does Reiky on all her clients just because they need it.....and she belives in the power of red, in good energy in people and in following the rules of the Universe.
She would hug you just because you look like you need a hug and plan into lenghty details a surprise birthday present or party ....And she would drive her friends to the airport although she is terrified of driving in busy highways and getting lost in that maize....
That's a bit of her :)

I know and I absolutely agree...men do know grief and suffering and they respond to it in their own way ; we are much easier as women to express and change it/let it go......
Women tend to be more open about sharing feelings, whereas men tend to keep it inside and suffer in silence and offer strenght for us. I appreciate that!
Thank you for your thoughts!

my grandmom lived in Chelsea England, I tryed for years to get her at ease as she had been devorced from Gandpappy, years of phone calls and buying my mom a ticket to London to go see her, I called one day and by the end of the conversation I realized Gran had dusted me, awhile later she died,

Life is unfair and what gets me is the ticket I bought mom could of took me to Hong Kong for bussiness...

She sounds like an amazing person... am going to tap in again and tell her name....like I needed to anyway... but just in case ... wish you and her every blessing that God can bestow