Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

I’ve just gone through a couple of situations, one personal and one involving the entire non-management staff where I work, which began with resistance, strong and angry resistance, and ended in bitter acceptance. I watched myself go through the phases of my situation, and I watched my co-workers go through the phases of theirs at the same time. It is interesting how at first there was resistance, anger, self-righteousness (not underserved), frustration, and eventually sad, even sorrowful, acceptance of the inevitable—for my co-workers, there is simply nothing they can do, save quit their jobs, and for me, I have also had to accept I have no choice.

My question is, when do we know it is time to give up on something? When do we continue to fight back? If it is a principle you are fighting for, should you go on fighting even though it may cause damage to your livelihood and security? How important does the principle have to be to go that far? Are we too accepting, in general, we humans, and give in too easily most of the time? Are we too absorbed in our own problems and concerns to notice or care when others are fighting something that is ethically or morally wrong, too self-absorbed to care or help them if it is inconvenient for us?

When the energy exherted is no longer worth the while.....

Secondly, karma kicks everyone's butt.

It's that feeling you get in your heart and soul. And when you sit on this thought, there will signs to help you come to a decision. It could be a talk with friends, something that you may have noticed in a book or other media source, or something simply external or internal that just gives you that final push to go your own way in a secure and confident way. JMO....

I say you try your best if, there is a chance the problem can be solved. If there is no hope then you are only causing more grief. For yourself and possibly others. Sometimes things can't be fixed and sadly thats life. Be it work, relationships or other problems.

GOD grant me
the SERENITY to accept
the things I cannot change,
COURAGE to change
the things I can
and WISDOM
to know the difference

Leave the "GOD-Bit out of it,change it to the Entity you trust in,it's all the same.
But it helps you to focus on the essentials.

I've quit a number of jobs and find that if the situation can't be resolved in a way that I'm happy with the outcome, I simply remove myself from the situation.
To me, money isn't worth sacrificing my self worth.

I forgot to mention, I'm stubborn too.

I can't believe that any Canadian would be stubborn!!!!!!!!!!

There's the odd one here and there.

When it simply does not matter any longer...Usually look back and realise its unimportance in our life..other than learning conflict resolution..I look at situations more as a personal growth and opportunity to gain emotional strength and wisdom..
Of course at the time it does not always appear so obvious...

Is acceptance always a sell out? What if you have a family, kids, a home to consider? I'm thinking of the employees here who are established, many married to Germans but are foreigners themselves and have limited options for jobs in this area....It just seems too easy to say, chuck the job...

My job situation is essentially meaningless to me as I will move on in a year or two. The personal situation is only money....I don't cling to money or material stuff, but in that respect, I'm still single and free....nobody to worry about but myself. In both cases, I'm getting experience is being more careful about choices and in personal emotional strength.

No, not neccessarily a sell out. Responsibilities dictate and sometimes you have no choice, but if given a choice, why would you stay. Some people are in very unfortunate predicaments and have few options available. For me it was much less complicated.
Sad fact is though, generally when someone feeds you a spoonful of shit and you eat it, the next time they'll come back with a shovel.

I have thought about this some today, Portiea, and I really don't know what to say. I do know that I stayed in a job where my boss was treating me like shit because I had a family to support. I think it's according to the cost PERSONALLY.

BINGO!!!

And some people got lots of shovels

Very true, hun.

Tough situation but no, I do not believe acceptance is ever a sell out if you have done all you can to change a situation,

Somethings we just do not have the power to change.

I walked out of a job once because I could neither change, nor live with the situation (one of those greyish not quite illegal but definitely totally unethical things). Although I do not regret it I would do it differently another time, like line up a job or save some money first.

Sometimes all you can do is your job, wholeheartedly and to the best of your ability and let that glow spread and make the situation at least tolerable. It is only acceptance if you release the bitterness and the desire to make a change.

Somebody told meonce "If you have conflict with someone, look in the mirror".

That probably won't help in your case though.
Has all the talking been done?
Does everyone see the situation from everyone else's point of view?
If management just believe that they are right then it is bad management.
If you have approached them with possible solutions that could benefit everyone, and they refused to listen, then it is time to bow out.

Fighting never resolves conflict, but compromise often does.


If all that failed, then walk away knowing you did your best.