HELP i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of v

THREAD AUTHOR

SueSeeksGent London, Outer London, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:13 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

The sado that I am, I was trawling through the singles websites, perchance to meet "the one", when I came across a profile of a guy who is the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine and they are now living together. He stated on his profile that he was single and looking for Miss Right and that he had viewed the site that same day.

The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.

I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???

Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.

trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:18 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Hiya Sue, good to see you

What about having a discreet word with him first?

SueSeeksGent London, Outer London, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:23 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Hello Trish, I'm good thanks. How are you keeping?

Thanks for your reply. I don't know him that well and would feel a bit disloyal to my friend if I talk to him first.

trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:33 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Is there no chance that she already knows? Lots of people stay on sites cos they have made friends.........

tough situation

I keeping good thanks and hope you are too

morganlee Qawra, Majjistral Malta

Wed May 7, 2008 3:35 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

If she is a very good friend, i think i would tell her asap or it is going to eat away at you. If he is doing

it once chances are he will do it again or cheat in some way. But don't be suprized if your friend doesn't

believe you at first, nobody wants to hear or believe something like that. Good luck

morganlee Qawra, Majjistral Malta

Wed May 7, 2008 3:36 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

trish123: Is there no chance that she already knows? Lots of people stay on sites cos they have made friends.........

tough situation

I keeping good thanks and hope you are too

Could be right, depends on what profile say's i guess

princebuster leeds/bradford, West Yorkshire, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:37 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

trish123: Hiya Sue, good to see you

What about having a discreet word with him first?

why not send him a flower that would give him a shock

that way he ll know you know see what happens

Nightperson Davison, Michigan USA

Wed May 7, 2008 3:39 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

SueSeeksGent: The sado that I am, I was trawling through the singles websites, perchance to meet "the one", when I came across a profile of a guy who is the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine and they are now living together. He stated on his profile that he was single and looking for Miss Right and that he had viewed the site that same day.

The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.

I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???

Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.

I would stay out of it. Saying anything to anyone involved will only cause grief that you do not need. Furthermore, I would act surprised, and be sympathetic and supportive of your friend when and if the relationship goes sour.

Just my opinion.

Zellarrone1 Hull, Humberside, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:42 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

SueSeeksGent: The sado that I am, I was trawling through the singles websites, perchance to meet "the one", when I came across a profile of a guy who is the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine and they are now living together. He stated on his profile that he was single and looking for Miss Right and that he had viewed the site that same day.

The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.

I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???

Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.

I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend

morganlee Qawra, Majjistral Malta

Wed May 7, 2008 3:45 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Zellarrone1: I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend

hi zell

good idea

Sparky55 Kabul Afghanistan

Wed May 7, 2008 3:48 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Zellarrone1: I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend

Really great idea. Get's the job done and keeps her out of it..

Zellarrone1 Hull, Humberside, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:48 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

morganlee: hi zell good idea

Hi Morgan

Thanks

PILIPALA Cardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:48 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Zellarrone1: I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend

Totally agree with you it could back fire on you. Let here know like Zell said. A lot of people in this situation shoot the messenger.

dcj22 Somewhere, South Dakota USA

Wed May 7, 2008 3:49 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Zellarrone1: I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend

Excellent idea, Zell!

DangerouslySweet Northwestern, Arizona USA

Wed May 7, 2008 3:53 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

Nightperson: I would stay out of it. Saying anything to anyone involved will only cause grief that you do not need. Furthermore, I would act surprised, and be sympathetic and supportive of your friend when and if the relationship goes sour.

Just my opinion.

I agree with nightperson............stay out of it.......and be supportive.

SueSeeksGent London, Outer London, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:53 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

THANKS to you all for your input, it seems tobe getting more and more complicated by the minute, with issus being raised that I hadn't even thought of.

It wasn't on a site like this, it was more of a definate dating site, not one where you can chat on forums like this one. As for letting him know that I know, well I think he may already because you can see who has viewed your profile. And as for staying out of the situation, not sure I can do that, don't think I'd be a good friend if I did and also I think that I would want to know. (hope this all maked sence).

SueSeeksGent London, Outer London, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 3:56 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

I'd print the evidence out (his profile) and anonymously post it to her preferably at work or failing that to her house. Then you can't get the blame when she confronts him and he manages to turn the tables onto you. This is what usually happens as I've experienced in the past when I've tried to be a good friend[/quote

Thanks Zella, that's certainly one for me to ponder on.

allready portland, Oregon USA

Wed May 7, 2008 3:59 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

princebuster: why not send him a flower that would give him a shock that way he ll know you know see what happens

I like this Idea sounds like it might do the trick. If that doesent work maybe I would show her the sight.

Friends dont keep secrets. But make sure you warn her first, that he is there.

Zellarrone1 Hull, Humberside, England UK

Wed May 7, 2008 4:10 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

SueSeeksGent: THANKS to you all for your input, it seems tobe getting more and more complicated by the minute, with issus being raised that I hadn't even thought of.

It wasn't on a site like this, it was more of a definate dating site, not one where you can chat on forums like this one. As for letting him know that I know, well I think he may already because you can see who has viewed your profile. And as for staying out of the situation, not sure I can do that, don't think I'd be a good friend if I did and also I think that I would want to know. (hope this all maked sence).

All the more reason for you to print it out sharpish. If he notices you have viewed him he'll probably delete his profile anyway. Then it would only be your word against his if it ever comes out into the open. it does sound to me as if he's using the site posing as a singleton so he can meet other women on the side which show's what a devious type he is. You need to tread carefully so as not to give him any ammunition to use against you to cause conflict between you and your friend. Good luck with it all and hope it somehow works out for the best in the end

morganlee Qawra, Majjistral Malta

Wed May 7, 2008 4:28 AM CST : HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view.

SueSeeksGent: THANKS to you all for your input, it seems tobe getting more and more complicated by the minute, with issus being raised that I hadn't even thought of.

It wasn't on a site like this, it was more of a definate dating site, not one where you can chat on forums like this one. As for letting him know that I know, well I think he may already because you can see who has viewed your profile. And as for staying out of the situation, not sure I can do that, don't think I'd be a good friend if I did and also I think that I would want to know. (hope this all maked sence).

I have been in this situation twice, not with dating sites, but friends partners seeing other women, one

time i did tell my friend, she doubted me at first then asked around and found it to be true and thanked

me for telling her.

The other time i said nothing my friend found out and also found out i knew about it, i tried to explain

why i had not told her, she said she felt i had betrayed her to and i lost a friend she has never spoken

to me since

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