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Hi Morgan

what you said is right, sometimes people do not want to be told!!!! if you were not a true friend this would not have happened

I'd invite her round to see the scum bags profile, let her take it from there

I've done a similar thing! My advice is as follows:

Set up a fake ID with pics from somebody nice and sexy! Contact him, show interest!

with the letter he writes back, you can than do 2 things: either show this letter to your friend, or u send him pictures of you or od your friend - telling him to have fun with it! I did it - was hillarious!

In the situation now he can always make up excuses! (I was only checking, but not really interested)

I feel she should know...

I dont feel it is right that you should have this information and not let her know..

I can imaging the things they say and do together when they have their alone time...The emotions she will share with him not knowing what he is doing...

Be a good friend and cover her back...

She may break up with him but dont let her be at the loss of you too

I see a lot of advice to stay out of it or to get involved without her knowing it's you. I disagree with all of that. My friends know that they can trust me to tell them the truth no matter what. If one of my friends is making mistakes in their life and they seem to be the only one that doesn't know it I will sit down and talk to them. The alternative is to talk to 40 strangers about her situation instead of her and I think that is being disloyal. At all cost you should feel you can and have to be honest with your friends and loved ones. even when it is hard or hurts. Just break it to her easy and support her in her decision.

For Me..I would tell her as soon as i knew myself...Better now then down the line later..She is wasting her time and life with this Man..if that is what you want to call him...Tell her and let her to the detective work herself...Would you want to know if you Friend knew something about you and urs?????? I am sure the answer would be YES...Honesty is always the best Policy...Take a deep Breathe and then Let it all OUT

I've been looking at the responses and it looks like men and women really deal with this differently.

My two cents worth is, to talk to your friend and find ut what kind of relationship they really have, (if she will tell you).

Some people don't find "the one" when they find a partner, and make arrangements among themsleves to "be with each other on conditions."

Relationship are complicated and private to the people concerned. He may have told her that he is still on other sites.

JMO but it's not your place to burst anyone's bubble just because you saw his profile. I have profiles on several sites and go visit them to see if there is mail from time to time and I am in a relationship. It means nothing.

If you had definite proof that he had made arrangements to date someone, then that is different, but there is no proof of anything here.

It is all too easy to jump in with our own agenda sometimes when theirs might be a lot different......

well said..I totally agree

Stop letting her make a fool of herself,

The guy couldn't love her or be totally happy with her if he is doing.. this

I found a boyfriend's profile on a site. I knew he had a profile there when we first met. I expected him to delete it but found that he hadn't done that. In his case, I think he was keeping it just in case we didn't work out.

But after we were married, I noticed that he still had lots of things he kept secret

In the case of your friend, I'd call her and ask her why he still has a profile on a dating site......

Perhaps she knows already.

And if she doesn't, she can choose how to deal with it.

He still got a backdoor open! Close it b4 u speak to him! or her!

bust his azzz!!!!

Can see what your saying but think it depends what the profile say's he is looking for, if it said dating

and i found out i would still feel betrayed , if i was a close friend of this pesrson i think i would know the kind of relationship they had, as women do tend to talk quite openly about things like that . Also once she has that information it is up to her how she has the choice of what she wants to do

I would show her...I had it happen to me and know that I definitely would have appreciated my friend telling me instead of investing a year into a guy that was a shmuck...
If she eventually finds out and knows that you already knew she will be devastated...

Hiya Sue,

This is what i would do.Print his profile pop around there when he is not going to be there and sit her down and tell her that you were browsing a site and found "this".

Don't be judgmental and get drawn into taking sides as you have not done anything wrong, and you certainly don't want it to backfire.

Once you hand her the profile, sit there quietly without talking and let her read it and then simply say" i found this by accident, i thought you should know as you are my friend".

After that let her take the matter up with him and i am sure he will have a lot of explaining to do!!

If you appear to say "he's a bastard" etc and she forgives him, ironically you might end up being blamed if anything else broke them apart.So best advice, let her read it and let her speak.After all what's on the profile she might already know, and feel the same way about him!

Stranger things have happened and some people view other people as commodities, like "he/she will do till someone else comes along" which i personally find disgusting but then people are different.

Main thing is do not be drawn in, and let her deal with the information you arm her with.

Good luck!!

I agree up to a point, but in my case I would never tell even my best friend what kind of relationship I was in or it's arrangements.

I have been in both situations, where friends told me things and where they haven't. Sometimes I needed to let it run it's course, sometimes I needed to be told, sometimes I needed to not believe them and sometimes I already knew and didn't appreciate hearing it.

It is a difficult one.

She'd need to know her friend pretty well .......

Some people, too, get together with somoene who has had the love of their life and maybe they died or something and they decide for various reasons that they give each other comfort etc. Nothing wrong with what people agree , as long as they BOTH agree.

Relationships are strange things. People get together for very many varied reasons, and some of them work for lifetimes.

Not up to us to judge why this happens.......

Ask yourself if it were your boyfriend and your friend had seen him on a singles site, what would you want your friend to do? When you've got the answer, do that. Good luck.

One way or another i feel you must let her
know what you know.

After all, isnt this what friends are for?

I agree....I would want my friend to let me know if it were me!!!!!!!!!!!