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i mean i never asked any guy about how he felt if it was the woman who was attracted and he was not cause I didn't know any guy in that situation--the circumstance has only been related to me by the woman...

One of my best friends is a woman. Jeanette is the one I talk to about everything. She gives me great insight from a woman's perspective....could be of practical matters, spiritual, romance, and relationships. She gives me really good advice.....she is 44. We just get along really well. We both know that sexing would ruin our friendship, and we value our friendship more.
I have at least 2 really good woman friends in America that I grew up with. They have both visited me, and no sexing occurred. Just hung out.
My most recent ex is a good friend. We spoke the other night about everything and nothing. We feel that it is a good idea to stay as friends....no sexual tension or anything....she is the one that wanted a baby.

Any questions? Did I shatter any paradigms?

One woman I hung around with for a couple of years and then a lot for about six months and did develop feelings for and told her. She didn't feel the same way or at least said she didn't and from there on gave me the cold shoulder for a few months, until one day she said she wanted to talk to me.
She said she did kinda feel the same way but was worried about ruining our friendship and that I was one of the best friends she ever had.
The fact that I got the cold shoulder for months had a serious and detrimental effect on our friendship, not the fact that she said no!
Anyway, we're still friends and I still care about her but I can't see myself dating someone that treated me that way!

The other side is a friend I've had for almost 30 years and have spent a lot of time with since high school. We never dated but did do a lot of things together over the years. We've always had a very good line of communication and have never really had any difficulties in expressing feelings.
She wanted to date and see what would happen but in knowing each other as well as we do, I knew and so did she that we both wanted different things out of life. We talked about it several times and in the end we never did end up dating but our bond became closer than we could have imagined.
I just talked to her last week and her and her boyfriend invited me over for dinner and drinks when I'm in the city.

I have male friends but all of them except one (who is gay), tried it on first or are ex's

I think that often the only reason men and women are friends is because one of them liked the other, in a sexual attraction sort of way, but one of them didn't want the other, and rather than lose all contact, or to keep hope alive, or just to be near someone that they gelled with maybe mentally or spiritually as well, they decided to be friends.

Friendships between men and women is great, but initially , in order to meet , to be friends, the attraction on at least one side is likely to have been sexual.

JMO

Don't all hit me at once .........

Just my experience........

hmmm...good point gingerb. I know my good friend here in Sweden is attracted to me physically. But I am not really attracted to her. But we have never come close to crossing the friendship line.
One of my closest friends who is a woman, was my next door neighbor that I grew up with....but there was never an attraction. We are like siblings.
My other close friend in America was also a neighbor.
I do have a few woman friends who I am attracted to. But we have kept it at friendship.
You make a really valid point. I guess the exception would be old friends that you grew up with and kinda think of as family.

I agree with that. Close childhood friends are kinda like siblings and often become a no-go area in a sexual way, but have a history with you that is beyond gender and therefore can continue friendship into adulthood without passing any boundaries.

When I was younger, I was more trusting.

I'm older and trust less, because of experience. It's not the attraction, thats a problem. It's the ego.

Low ego, more likely to welcome advances, have sex and feel guilt. High ego, better able to maintain a friendship for other reasons.

Had a male friend for years, we were "just friends". We dated and talked about sex, when we were both single. After years of friendship, we couldn't do it, but the friendship was ruined. It was almost like incest. Grossed us out, we rarely speak.

I married a guy who was my friend. That date felt like fruition. No distrust, he didn't know my darkest feelings.

I would wonder and ask about the attraction, yes.

By ego, do you mean self esteem, or ego?

Damn right they can be just friends.. I have several ladies that I am simply friends with..

Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that is because I am old and senile and can't do any harm. But on a positive side, I get to meet them again tomorrow because by then, I will have forgotten who they are..

Sure they can.
You know,it's the women in my life, that have taught me, that once in a while.....I'm allowed to have feelings.





Just once in a while.

All fine and well, but I have seen following situation often happened, which has not being considered during this whole thread:

He has gf, she has bf. They both very good friends since a long time and never any sexual desire for each other.

Than he lost gf, she has a big skirmish with her bf! Both, as usual going out and having a few drinks! She doesn't want to go home because of that stupid, screaming bf!

Now figure out the rest of the story! I have seen it many times! I've also been, done that and finally got the T-shirt!

Hi ginger guess we all have different experiences, i have male friends and can honestly say i

have not found this, unless the have been very good at hiding how they feel also have found

that generally male friends are far more open

Yes, I believe we can..but I don't recommend it for married people cause it's easy when you're angry at a spouse to turn to that opposite sex friend and yearn for understanding and emotional support which you want from your spouse. Kind of starts out innocent, but can be fatal to your marriage...

JMHO,
Peaches

My friendship is straight forward, and comes with with a money back guarantee that i do not want to adversly affect anyone's life.

The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.

If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.

I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.

Awww come on Robbie ask me about something...Lol
Just kidding...

I need 6 winning lottery numbers, if your inspired please feel free to share

The money would come in real handy as i can then go house hunting next monday.

hi Robbie,

completely agree what your saying about the money thing, i have helped people out and then had to

ask for the money back and i have been the one that felt bad about it, seems like a good way to loose

friends. Hope your good

Will think about it then...

It's really embarrassing isn't it!!! It puts you in a terrible position!!

Funny thing happened yesterday, i did all the domestic stuff, went shopping post office etc and didnt get out of breathe so i thought, great the split must of healed up, i'm on a roll!!

The sun was lovely, i'd had a bath the cats we happy and i had no dead animals outside the back door.

Sadly though the sun had the last laugh.....i didnt take my shades out with me and promptly got a migraine!!

You have to laugh, but least i found out now before finding out on the way to the airport saturday