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My mother is in the hospital, again. My Step-father runs his ass off, takes care of my mother, ran a farm, sold it for bucks and he's building a business, with a smaller farm.

I asked him about his alternatives. He told me it was better than being alone. I asked him about walking out the door and keeping part of his life. He said he'd rather not be alone and he likes being the good guy. He said, "I'm that guy."

I want a guy, like my step-dad. I want to be like him. He does the right thing, because it makes him happy. I want that guy.

I'm not that girl, but I could be. I might be bitchy tonight, but I'll be kind tomorrow, to my mother.

I'm sick of hospitals, sick of being in them and the mention makes me a grumpy bitch. I have alternate personalities, and feelings, about them.

Anyone else have to deal with hospitals on a regular basis? Do you have a chronic illness, yourself? If you have a chronic illness, how do you stay sane, when dealing with a parent, or a child? My mother is a pain.

Sometimes, I just want to walk out the door and leave.

I hear you, hospitals aren't fun, the smell, the waiting , the pain of a love one...it is a strain...try to relax when you can, you have to make time for yourself each day...thats life.

You are only human, and ya know if you walked out that door, you will come back....... I have spent the last 2 years in and out of hospital with my own health problems, mine started with misdiagnosised pneumonia, now i have lung problems....I ended up after 5 months of steroids and antibotics having my lungs flushed to rid me of the infection...i was so fed up of hospital that i wished i could up and leave.....now i just turned it all around and maybe it was a wake up call in life to sit and take time to smell the roses...

I happy you better.

I am getting the impression that your mum might be in hospital cos of a mental illness rather than a physical one the way you are talking about her...
I can understand where you are coming from, not from first hand experience but from a cousin. She wanted to leave her mum plenty of times, and blamed her each time she ended up in the hospital. That all ate into her. Your step father has the right idea (only if he is just standing by so as not to feel lonely then its a sad story for him - and not a reason to look up to him)

If you want to stick by your mum, do it for her... Not to make yourself feel better or to be like your stepdad...

Maybe you should take a few steps back first....Take stock of your own life first....Then you might be stronger for yourself and your mum...

Its not easy...but its not easy on your mum either....

If I am way off the mark I totally apologise.... I only hopped over from Ireland to see if anything interesting...

thanks mastic but i am now on a nebuliser and 2 inhalers a day but at least i can live with that......

When I seen mental illness I though you were talking about me.

Sounds like you have it under control the best you can, I pray you feel better each day.

You have the right attitude Nuala. Glad things working out for you.

Misdiagnosis can really ruin peoples lives, and as you know it happens all the time in Ireland and most probably every other country

Are you up early or late? Lol

thanks loopy i am up early.....lol the good weather is killing my breathing but its great to see

Are you up late or early too.......

I am up very late I am afraid....Got into the YouTube and uploading etc... Knocked the tiredness off me, so gonna keep going for a little longer. Can sleep in the garden in another hour or two..Lol...When it heats up...

Is your problems a bit like asthma...From what you say I know it goes deeper than that....But my youngest has asthma, and he is affected by seasonal change more than other factors....Only thankfully its the autumn/winter change over that affects him, rather than every season change.

Hope you get to enjoy the good weather a little bit at least....Not often we get it...

My mother's illness is very real. My attitude stems from the times she knocked on the wall, when she was healthy, etc. I cleaned her house, until last year. It's always been about her. I get sick of her and I'm a bitter woman. Just when I considered having my own life, she goes back to the hospital. I'll never have a life.

I think you had enough and deep in your heart you want to go but feel guilty, you only have one Mom, but I can't judge you, if you want to leave, do so..ask your step Dad for advice.

Only when my cardiologist wants a new car.. He says I am just to damn mean to die..

You do sound bitter but you acknowledge that, which is a start...You say your mothers illness is very Real...but you come across like a spoilt child...Mental illness I understand, it can make a person resentful, but you say its real...I don't understand the bitterness in that scenario. If your mum is ill, its hardly in her control. You say you do all these things for your mum...Thats normal...As mums get older we do things for them. Its the natural course of life... I rarely get on with my mum, but I would do anything for her, and vice versa....

Do you have any siblings that might take over some of the strain from you? Give you a bit of head space? Cos by the sounds of it, you do need a break.

This guy must know my mother!

Yep, I'm a spoilt child. Been taking care of this woman my whole life. Even when she was able, I cleaned and paid bills. I never had a mother, I WAS the mother. My kid is grown and I want my own time. I don't want to take care of this woman, who never cared about me.

I love her, but I don't like her. She was hardly around and I have to take care of her? I said my part, now I'll slap a smile on my face and be a good daughter, once again.

I understand how you feel and have been there. You need to go and take care of YOU now. Being bitter will destroy you. There are two lives in this scenario. Your life is important too. The hospital and your stepfather can take responsibility for your mother for now, if and until you can cope again. For now you have to give yourself a life and time to heal. Being a good daughter is about looking after yourself too and attending to your own needs or you will be no good to anyone.

Yes I get sick of them too but for different reasons...work is tough..

Karen may I suggest you go to blogs and read some of Bajanblues posts...how she copes is beautiful..I admire that lady..