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SH*T it was my own hand


taking anotjer bottle out and fillimg your glass again

Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club. The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?" His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with."

They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?" His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!" "No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball."

Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?" His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and lets Roger have it with both barrels.

At this, the cabby leans over and says "Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!"

Beers for everyone!

A guy walked into a bar and said
"Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender."

But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up.

The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn't pay.

Then the next day, the guy said "Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!"

The bartender said "Why?"

The guy replyed "You're violent when you're drunk!"

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied.......





























The third nun fainted.

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and
during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex."Tarzan
not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh,...Tarzan use hole in
trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong,...but I will show you
how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and lay down on the
ground. "Here" she said,
"you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his
considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right
in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she
managed to gasp for air and screamed:
"What in the hell did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied, "check for squirrel."

Des, if you're too drunk to know if it's your hand or a womans, maybe you need to put that bottle away!!

Dana it was my left hand so I thought It was someone else

Hey Dana.

Have to go all, bed is calling my name.

Have a good night Barry

night night

Hey sweetie. How are ya? I left you a message about your slurpy in that other thread.

Sorry, I'm in and out tonight, apparently mostly out! It's good to see you though. Love the nun joke.

Hey member me??

Woops - should have looked at the next post. I missed him. damn

Oh no!!!!! Poor her!