Thread:

Writing Home Redneck Style!

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Jokes & Humor

Writing Home Redneck Style!

Missouri dating
mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 12:48 PM CST


Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.


Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with 'em for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.


It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.


We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.


Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.


Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love,
Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

laugh
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New York singles
Maizy
Oneonta, New York USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:05 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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oslojente
Olso Norway
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:06 PM CST
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Illinois personals
friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:07 PM CST
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast.

HUH?///rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

I was just think this.handshake
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Illinois personals
friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:09 PM CST
Oh theres more to this letter.??blushing
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Scotland singles
bren1
Bucks, Buckinghamshire, England UK
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:10 PM CST

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
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Scotland singles
bren1
Bucks, Buckinghamshire, England UK
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:14 PM CST
friendsfirst wrote:
Oh theres more to this letter.??


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Did those redheads hit you over the head with something

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Illinois personals
friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:23 PM CST
bren1 wrote:
Did those redheads hit you over the head with something


Workin on it.

professor

wink

thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
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Gozo dating
pvictoria
Victoria, Gozo Malta
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:25 PM CST
Dear William
Unfortunatelly your Momma drowned in da creek yonder the Liquor Store,ye know where.Your Momma used the Mortgage payments to play Bing,god bless her poor soul.What was I gonna tell y'all ? Oh here we go.Well, when they was fixin to come to repo our home your Momma decided to stay in the trailer.As the good lord had it the damn trailer lost a wheel as we got to da creek.Billy the rest is jest to tragic to tell y'all.Oh I will miss'r.
Have you got 20 bucks,i'm kinda thirsty again.
Your Dad
Don't forget to bring the 20.

laugh laugh laugh
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Illinois personals
friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:26 PM CST
pvictoria wrote:
Dear William
Unfortunatelly your Momma drowned in da creek yonder the Liquor Store,ye know where.Your Momma used the Mortgage payments to play Bing,god bless her poor soul.What was I gonna tell y'all ? Oh here we go.Well, when they was fixin to come to repo our home your Momma decided to stay in the trailer.As the good lord had it the damn trailer lost a wheel as we got to da creek.Billy the rest is jest to tragic to tell y'all.Oh I will miss'r.
Have you got 20 bucks,i'm kinda thirsty again.
Your Dad
Don't forget to bring the 20.


thumbs up
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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:30 PM CST
bren1 wrote:
Did those redheads hit you over the head with something


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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England personals
Hypno_cat
Southampton, Hampshire, England UK
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:34 PM CST
Here in England... we have an idea of how rednecks are.... we may have got it wrong.... But reading this, I guess we got it right rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Illinois personals
friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 4:40 PM CST
Hypno_cat wrote:
Here in England... we have an idea of how rednecks are.... we may have got it wrong.... But reading this, I guess we got it right


What do you mean?rolling eyes
wink

conversing ......wave
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free online dating
ttom500
St. Cloud, Florida USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 9:41 PM CST
Hypno_cat wrote:
Here in England... we have an idea of how rednecks are.... we may have got it wrong.... But reading this, I guess we got it right


Ah...real rednecks don't take offense on being called redneck. Actually across the country there different rednecks.......I live in Central Florida and in the country....here they are called crackers. Wish to know why?

Well goes back a ways. To the Civil War......when all they had to eat was salted crackers. They live a quiet live sytle of Braham bulls, quarter horses and citrus operations. And sell development property to the English that want to relocate here....that have make them rich.

No offense taken.........laugh
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California personals
hrt4lse
Redding, California USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 9:52 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.


That's just too much...lol
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Missouri dating
mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:35 PM CST
hrt4lse wrote:
That's just too much...lol
Not being able to get the tail gate down was my favorite too.thumbs up rolling on the floor laughing
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South Carolina singles
mbcasey
North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:38 PM CST
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Arizona dating
anjel
tempe, Arizona USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:43 PM CST
hahaharolling on the floor laughing
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Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:44 PM CST
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