Thread:

Things you always wanted to know!

Category:
Jokes & Humor

Things you always wanted to know!

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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:47 PM CST
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A Pigs orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)



A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot co pulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates s ex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have s ex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

God love that Pig!!

laugh
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Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:53 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


50 times............. sound like that lion was a pig!
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HzChld
Somewhere in the middle, Oklahoma USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:55 PM CST
Oink....rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:58 PM CST
Oink! Oink!
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HzChld
Somewhere in the middle, Oklahoma USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 10:59 PM CST
RillyNiceGuy wrote:
Oink! Oink!


yay
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Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:01 PM CST
dancing banana
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:06 PM CST
HzChld wrote:
Oink....
Hello Hzchld wave
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:06 PM CST
RillyNiceGuy wrote:
Oink! Oink!
Here piggy piggy!!rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:09 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
Here piggy piggy!!




grin
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HzChld
Somewhere in the middle, Oklahoma USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:14 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
Hello Hzchld


Howdy neighbor!!! wave
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:16 PM CST
HzChld wrote:
Howdy neighbor!!!
Hi girl , I hope all is well, oh and Joy said you have to come visit soon. cheers
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Loner1960
St. Alphonse, Manitoba Canada
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:17 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:


A Pigs orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have s ex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

God love that Pig!!



Pigs may have quality sex.
But that results in quantity of piglettes (10-12).
If no piglettes (Bacon real soon.)
All nursing at the same time.
Life of a pig (3 to 5 years.)
Than she is bacon or sausage.
Are you sure you still want to be a pig?
dunno
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:23 PM CST
Loner1960 wrote:
Pigs may have quality sex.
But that results in quantity of piglettes (10-12).
If no piglettes (Bacon real soon.)
All nursing at the same time.
Life of a pig (3 to 5 years.)
Than she is bacon or sausage.
Are you sure you still want to be a pig?


It's in the next life anyway, and I have already lived a good while this time around , so sure next time be a Pig, get quality fun!!laugh
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Loner1960
St. Alphonse, Manitoba Canada
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:31 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
It's in the next life anyway, and I have already lived a good while this time around , so sure next time be a Pig, get quality fun!!


The boar has more fun. He get a new female every day. (Lucky bast**d)
The female (sow or gilt) only gets it twice a year. All those piglettes to raise.

grin

Then again pigs like women do have a mind of their own.
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 11, 2008, 11:59 PM CST
Loner1960 wrote:
The boar has more fun. He get a new female every day. (Lucky bast**d)
The female (sow or gilt) only gets it twice a year. All those piglettes to raise.



Then again pigs like women do have a mind of their own.
It was just a joke anyway, I wouldn't really want to come back as a pig. Maybe a bird so I could come poop on your head. rolling on the floor laughing
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friendsfirst
Burbank, Illinois USA
Posted: May 12, 2008, 12:02 AM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
It was just a joke anyway, I wouldn't really want to come back as a pig. Maybe a bird so I could come poop on your head.


rolling on the floor laughing
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Loner1960
St. Alphonse, Manitoba Canada
Posted: May 12, 2008, 12:04 AM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
It was just a joke anyway, I wouldn't really want to come back as a pig. Maybe a bird so I could come poop on your head.


GO ahead.
I wouldn't be the first time, that I got covered with sh*t.

I better quit. I'm just digging myself a deeper hole.
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