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Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC!

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Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC!

Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:34 PM CST
"Woman chops off sleeping man's penis and drops from moving car!" Don't laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!!

Right now thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline and are contemplating similar action against you the next time you make an unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just upset them in general!!

MEN PROTECT YOURSELVES NOW!!

If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome) could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time and intact?? Could you be sure the penis part they found was yours??

Inquire now about our low-cost PenisProtectionPlan! *

Plan 1: We'll register your penis and scrotum, plus tattoo them with their own unique registration number, ensuring that in case of separation, you will get a perfect match every time.

Plan 2: Our Jurassic prick program. We'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event a trailer-tractor runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy.

Plan 3: For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one size fits all, battery-operated, stainless steel jockstrap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleep an alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jockstrap. This will guarantee you a full nights sleep, free of worry.

Don't get caught short ...

Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC today!!!!!

Remember ... the dick you save could be your own!!

PRICES VARY ACCORDING TO SIZE.
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England matchmaking
Claayer
Wild Wild South West, England UK
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:35 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Connecticut singles
KrazieStill
Bristol, Connecticut USA
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:36 PM CST
dropping jaw devil
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Florida personals
desmond
kissimmee, Florida USA
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:36 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Missouri personals
mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:40 PM CST
Thats really funny!!!!!!rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 16, 2008, 11:44 PM CST
innocent angel ......lips shamrock
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Xlokk dating
p_seg
Central, Xlokk Malta
Posted: May 17, 2008, 1:35 AM CST
Xtabentun wrote:
"Woman chops off sleeping man's penis and drops from moving car!" Don't laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!!

Right now thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline and are contemplating similar action against you the next time you make an unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just upset them in general!!

MEN PROTECT YOURSELVES NOW!!

If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome) could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time and intact?? Could you be sure the penis part they found was yours??

Inquire now about our low-cost PenisProtectionPlan! *

Plan 1: We'll register your penis and scrotum, plus tattoo them with their own unique registration number, ensuring that in case of separation, you will get a perfect match every time.

Plan 2: Our Jurassic prick program. We'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event a trailer-tractor runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy.

Plan 3: For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one size fits all, battery-operated, stainless steel jockstrap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleep an alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jockstrap. This will guarantee you a full nights sleep, free of worry.

Don't get caught short ...

Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC today!!!!!

Remember ... the dick you save could be your own!!

PRICES VARY ACCORDING TO SIZE.


Thanks for the warning, from now on I won't even talk to a lady, let alone date or get intimate with one!! Got to take care of the family jewels!! moping


Nice one! rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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New York dating
2catchastar
Corning, New York USA
Posted: May 17, 2008, 1:46 AM CST
Any time I get an IM or email from a scammer I tell them I am lorraina Bobbits little sister and she tought me all I know! it takes away when you have to expain who she is, but it is fun telling them what she did!
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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: May 17, 2008, 1:47 AM CST
CDS rolling on the floor laughing
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:05 AM CST
p_seg wrote:
Thanks for the warning, from now on I won't even talk to a lady, let alone date or get intimate with one!! Got to take care of the family jewels!! Nice one!


Better be safe than sorry! professor
dancing wine
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:08 AM CST
2catchastar wrote:
Any time I get an IM or email from a scammer I tell them I am lorraina Bobbits little sister and she tought me all I know! it takes away when you have to expain who she is, but it is fun telling them what she did!


And it's worth it.....rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing sticking out tongue
Poor little scammers!
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England personals
roseofsharon
Casa Felice, Southampton, England UK
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:23 AM CST
It always makes sense to be covered. Can that 'phone number be accessed from the UK??
dunno
Thank you in advance. handshake


grin
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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:26 AM CST
roseofsharon wrote:
It always makes sense to be covered. Can that 'phone number be accessed from the UK??

Thank you in advance.


ha, ha--double meaninglaugh
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free online dating
GirlWednesday
Scarborough, Ontario Canada
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:30 AM CST
you've been eating it for years... weiners and beans..
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:46 AM CST
roseofsharon wrote:
It always makes sense to be covered. Can that 'phone number be accessed from the UK??

Thank you in advance.


I am sure it can be accesses!

If not, it can always be stretched to reach the right target!yay
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England personals
roseofsharon
Casa Felice, Southampton, England UK
Posted: May 17, 2008, 2:57 AM CST
Xtabentun wrote:
I am sure it can be accesses!

If not, it can always be stretched to reach the right target!


Thank you for that. Though, your posts states prices vary according to size. There is no indication whether cost and payout is dependent on whether flaccid or erect at the time?? dunno
Just curious....... of course!! grin
rolling on the floor laughing
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 17, 2008, 3:11 AM CST
roseofsharon wrote:
Thank you for that. Though, your posts states prices vary according to size. There is no indication whether cost and payout is dependent on whether flaccid or erect at the time??
Just curious....... of course!!


well, we'll go for profit here, so forget about the flaccid...uninsurable!!!

Size do matter!!!dancing banana
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Quintana Roo dating
Xtabentun
Cancun- Port Carling, Ontario, Quintana Roo Mexico
Posted: May 17, 2008, 3:14 AM CST
Xtabentun wrote:
well, we'll go for profit here, so forget about the flaccid...uninsurable!!!

Size do does matter!!!


See, you got all my grammar wrong, evaluating size & dimensions blushing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Queensland dating
relaxin
charters towers , Queensland Australia
Posted: May 17, 2008, 4:54 AM CST
GirlWednesday wrote:
you've been eating it for years... weiners and beans..



yeh and banngers and mash thats the big boys version rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Alabama personals
Sparky55
Prattville, Alabama USA
Posted: May 17, 2008, 5:09 AM CST
Xtabentun wrote:
"Woman chops off sleeping man's penis and drops from moving car!" Don't laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!!


I'm just glad the emergenct services people were able to find John's thing. Could you imagine seeing that thing on a milk carton with the caption "Have you seen this penis" laugh
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