Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

Sex is a great part of a life together but it is not the ultimate act of love as many believe. As far as age, I have felt this way all my life.

I agree that sex is not the ultimate act of love, but good sex or bad sex can make or break some relationships.

Sex provides a very important break from our stressful lives and offers intimacy and closeness that is very important. It is only part of the equation of how we love each other and express our love for each other.

A good sexual relationship can make you feel more relaxed and accepted as well as more engaged with your partner. If this is missing in a relationship, the the focus of course is more on the quality of the relationship in order to compensate for the lack of quality sex.

The belief that sex is not important in a relationship can be dangerous and an intimacy killer. Our bodies have physiological needs, and our minds also have certain expectations as to what we want to get out of a relationship, and as to what we want to get out of our sexual relationships.

Some people are just made up different and have different hormone levels. Some men really do need to have good sex in a relationship. If they don't, they will move on to another partner. It's just a matter of choice like with any other characteristic in a relationship. Even if the sex is great, but the partner has characteristics that one does not enjoy, then that partner will move on as well.

In my book, if I don't experience a good sexual relationship with a lady, I simply call it quits. Life is too short to be content with something that I really consider a very important part of the relationship. That is just me though. If you have a different view....fine. Does not bother me.

Firstly, I am sure Gilly is capable of responding to me himself. Secondly, this is not about Gillys' views.... of course, he is entitled to them. I have no idea where you got that inference from my post, I felt it was quite comprehensive. Perhaps read it again? For clarity (though I don't understand the difficulty?), I was talking about slagging other members off, which has become a constant in most threads and, despite this may be acceptable behaviour to you, it is not to me. My view??

Unlike yourself, it would appear - with me - I have no axe to grind with anyone here and my post was, in fact, designed to be helpful, although a subsequent post seems to be defiantly in the same vein..... I can clearly rest my case on that one, as its there in black and white.

My post was not off topic, but a post using my response as a vehicle for back and forth who is right and who is wrong, IS, without doubt.

I am not going to enter into an argument with you, I deduce that the purpose of your post to me is spurious to say the least. For elaboration on that (should it be needed) please refer to the beginning of my second paragraph?

And can I take it that if intolerance is permitted from some, MY intolerance is also acceptable then? After all, we're all equal here, aren't we?

Good day

Nice cosmetic job on that one. If you would have just ignored his post, that would have been far more helpful. Why are you trying to change Gilly? I did not view his post as offensive. You did. So you took the courtesy of presumptuously defining our views in line with yours.

Embrace differences, practice what you preach. This is not your forum. My perception of your post had a lot of truth in it, and you should just accept and follow the forum guidelines....if you don't like a post or a thread, then stay out. Worry about yourself and how you react to posts, and this place will be fine. Nobody else complained in this thread, and if they wanted to, they made a wise choice and just stayed out. You can only change yourself.

If you truly loved her and she you, then that love will give you all things, unless you are more centered to yourself and only loving her for that in which she affects you and your wants. If she does not please you and you go.....who did you love. This is truly a me generation. I mean this as no insult only defining of the underlying nature. This nature is in most people. There are a few here that know the difference in the two natures. I have seen their hearts by the things they say in passing. To each his own and no harm to have your life as you choose.

I would never get in that position of truly loving a woman it the sex was horrible. It is that simple. So the relationship would have lasted a month...to short of a time to grow with somebody and experience love on a deeper level.

Yes, if she did not please me, I showed respect for myself by getting out of a relationship that I was not happy with. It has nothing to do with the me generation or being selfish. It is being true to myself. Who wants to be in a relationship that does not make us happy? It comes in package form, and if you can handle the worst weakness in a relationship, then that is a good thing. So there would be no reason to look elsewhere. There are many fish in the sea, and if you can find one to be content with, have the freedom and liberty to be yourself, show the same for your partner, and have great sex, then that would be awesome...and that is what I am looking for. I have had many girlfriends that I had great sex with, but there was no connection on a mental level...so it ended.

It has to do with what I am happy and comfortable with. I am not here on this planet to sell myself short and prolong a relationship that I am not happy with. Everybody has their own perception of love, and everybody has different preferences, especially as we age.

No harm, no foul, we are all free to choose as we like as you said....even if it means looking forever. That is a choice that we must accept to live with. I would rather be alone than in some shit relationship cause I feared being alone.

You leave me breathless..... I simply cannot understand the difficulty you are having?? But then, as I say, your intentions are, in my view, spurious indeed and it serves your purpose.

You keep carping on about "views" and I have said, more than once, its not about views...... And now throwing in "changing" people?? I do believe people know me better than that, and anyone with a modicum of intelligence can see what you are trying to do here.

And where its acceptable for some to be intolerant and yet not others.... where its permitted for some to offer friendly advice (as it happens on the Forums all the time and yet you have not had a problem with it, it would appear) but not others..... that's tantamount to hypocricy!!

Your responses to me have been peppered with contradictions all over the place, my friend, and, frankly......... you will have to have an argument (as you seem in that mood) with yourself as I can't validate something that erratic with further credence. And before my brain turns to blancmange........

I bid you good day...

game over....

...... ........ ......... ......... ........ .................

Well bridger, nice to know we stand in the same place...NO SEX = NO RELATIONSHIP...shhhhh sorry for hollering. Having said that there are ways one can satisfy the other if need be, but I prefer good hot steamy sweaty SEX!

No I wouldn't. I already tried that! it wasn't any fun.

To me it sounds as if many find a spouse the same as they find a car or TV. Find one that appeals to the eyes and functions well with the needs I want. Then when it no longer suits me....dump it and find a new model. Thats not love thats shopping!

That does seem to be the way relationships are these days though Len...as sad as it is!!!!!!!!!!!

no...

I agree... true love is about mutual giving... and in a spirit of mutual giving both parties will work towards satisfying each other... it often takes couples some time to get used to each other, and if the love is there.. it will be sufficient motivation to make it work... plus the longer one is in a relationship, the less important it becomes (to both parties) I guess what it boils down to really is what brings both parties together in the first place.... if it is just lust.. then yes.. I can see how it would be the 'be all and end all'.. I for one am looking for something deeper than that ultimately... JMV

hi aries01

welcome to the thread !

lots to talk about there love ...because you might be willing to stay with thatbperson if the sex is'nt right ...




but they might not be willing to stay with you !




when people start having afairs behind each others back is when the problem starts !...especially if they find someone they enjoy having sex with more than they enjoy sharing life with their partner !



if the sex was right in the first place ...then broke down ...then thats another story !....but there is a saying that " most problems in the spiritual loving relationshop can stem from sex in one way or another !

thats not what i'm saying but the general consensus of opinion !

I agree that a relationship based on lust, wouldn't stand the tests of time....when faced with such a challenge.. but I dunno.. a relationship based on things other than lust, such as love, companianship, friendship, compatibility, mutual interests.. dunno.. the proof would be in the pudding I guess.. the best people to ask really would be those that spend their whole life together or who have been married 30years plus.. I wonder was it always magic in the bedroom for them...

Hiya Gilly..:wave;

Hi,
I often wonder how some ppl can be happily married when you see them hand-in-hand in the park at 80+? May be sometimes sex is less fulfilled because of wrong partners and no chemistry! The same man/woman that fail to satisfy you may find others more exciting in bed and be alive again. Minus sex, may be some ppl stay together in a relationship out of compassion and pity?

In summary, it takes two to tango! The blame should not be laid on one party alone.