Scottishlass
Knoxville, Tennessee USA
Posted: May 23, 2008, 7:24 AM CST
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.
1. Name: ____________________ Date of Birth _____________
2. Height ______ Weight ______ IQ ______ GPA _______
3. Social Security # ___ _____ __ Drivers Lic.# _________
Boy Scout Rank ____________ Military record ___________
4. Home Address _________________________________________
5. Do you have one male parent and one female parent?
6.Number of years parents married:
7: Do you own or possess any of the following items:
A) A van? B) A truck with oversized tires?
C) A waterbed? D)Earring, nose ring, etc.?
E) Tatoo
(If number 6 stated that your parents are no longer married, OR you answered “yes” to any of the items in #7, discontinue the application and leave the premises!
8. In 50 words or less, what do the words “DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
9. In 25 words or less what does the word “LATE” mean to you??
10. In 50 words or less what does the word “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?
11. Congregation attended:
How often do you attend?
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends (Please supply phone numbers!)
12. What do you want to be IF you grow up???
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, RED HOT POKERS, DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE! (WE SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST)
_________________________________________
(SIGNATURE: THAT MEANS YOUR NAME; MORON!
Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t anyway dummy!)