He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????

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Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:11 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
A more interesting question - one perhaps deserving of its own thread - is: what you do if you find slimness/good conditioning necessary in a partner to feel sexually attracted to them, and your slim partner begins gaining large amounts of weight in the course of your relationship - what are you reasonably entitled to do? Should you end the relationship or speak to the lady/man about your concerns? How could you possibly avoid sounding as though you were presenting an ultimatum in this case (I can't be sexually attracted to you unless you slim down)?

Is the above scenario fundamentally different from the one offered by the OP?

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Portiea Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:27 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Claayer: Would I?

No .. but I would tell him to F%$£ Off.


thumbs up

Total agreement.
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SatelliteServer Toronto, Ontario Canada
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:28 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
kissmedeeply: I would tell him to stick the engagement ring up where the sun dont shine


maybe he goes to a nude beachlaugh
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Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:29 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
A further non-politically correct scenario: imagine a guy walking past an overweight lady with an attractive face and being asked "Would you consider dating her?" Now imagine that the guy were made the following offer: Would you date her if her body were toned and slimmed?

How do you think most guys would (honestly) answer these two questions? How would their responses be in principle different from the question posed in this thread?

Of course, ladies, feel free to reverse the above hypothetical so that an overweight, flabby guy with an attractive face were walking past...etc.
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Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:37 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Here's my "punch line" re the posed thought-experiment: it is quite conceivable - and reasonable, insofar as I can see - that someone's weight, or any other quality deemed attractive or unattractive, could influence one's choice. Therefore, it wouldn't be rude or silly to suggest, it seems to me, that one might be interested in matrimony with "A" if he or she were physically fit, versus an unfit "A." After all, it's not only an esthetic question; the way one treats one body bears on one's self-esteem, values, proclivities, etc.
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hrt4lse Redding, California USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:46 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
StressFree: I would do it, but I would also tell my man lover to gain a couple extra inches so I can actually feel something more sensual and deep


Wish I'd thought of that when I was married!! Would've shut him up real quick....lol
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hrt4lse Redding, California USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 11:50 AM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Actually, this senario sounds like my ex husband. He didn't do this when we got engaged....but he did it throughout the marriage. After having our first child (4 years into the marriage)...he said if I reached XXX pounds, he'd buy me a new wardrobe....I lost the weight...no new clothes. After the birth of our second son (9 years in) he said if I lost X amount of pounds he'd take me to Hawaii. I lost it, all he said was I could stand to lose 5 more. So I've been there & done that....but only within the confines of marriage. If he'd shown himself this way BEFORE we'd gotten married, I would've saved myself 17 years of destruction to my self worth.
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:00 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Ambrose2007: A more interesting question - one perhaps deserving of its own thread - is: what you do if you find slimness/good conditioning necessary in a partner to feel sexually attracted to them, and your slim partner begins gaining large amounts of weight in the course of your relationship - what are you reasonably entitled to do? Should you end the relationship or speak to the lady/man about your concerns? How could you possibly avoid sounding as though you were presenting an ultimatum in this case (I can't be sexually attracted to you unless you slim down)?

Is the above scenario fundamentally different from the one offered by the OP?


Hmm do you know what I would do if my other half was getting a little 'portly' .. laugh

No?... oh.. okay.. then let me tell you.. laugh

I wouldn't EVER say anything about it.. I may talk about how 'I' want to lose some weight.. and that I want to begin to eat more healthily etc

I would also come up with more things to do out and about together.. walking biking swimming etc..

Enuff until I could say.. 'Wooo baaaybeee look at yoooo.. you are losing weight!.. You are looking even MORE scrummy than before! devil It's all that healthy eating/biking' etc.. we are doing.


Anyhoo.. I'd do something like that.. I wouldn't ever say it.
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hrt4lse Redding, California USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:02 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Claayer: Hmm do you know what I would do if my other half was getting a little 'portly' ..

No?... oh.. okay.. then let me tell you..

I wouldn't EVER say anything about it.. I may talk about how 'I' want to lose some weight.. and that I want to begin to eat more healthily etc

I would also come up with more things to do out and about together.. walking biking swimming etc..

Enuff until I could say.. 'Wooo baaaybeee look at yoooo.. you are losing weight!.. You are looking even MORE scrummy than before! It's all that healthy eating/biking' etc.. we are doing. Anyhoo.. I'd do something like that.. I wouldn't ever say it.


I like that approach Claire.
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:04 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
hrt4lse: I like that approach Claire.


yeah.. thats the approach I would like someone to take with ME laugh
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hrt4lse Redding, California USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:20 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Claayer: yeah.. thats the approach I would like someone to take with ME


So true....it probably would've been more productive for my ex to just getting me out & doing stuff instead of complaining about it & not doing anything to help the situation.
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Portiea Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:22 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Kaleb: He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????


What's really funny about a man who would say this type of thing is that he is usuall far, far from perfect himself.....


laugh rolling eyes professor
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redbellypirhana Phoenix, Arizona USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:24 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Well I have heard it and have seen it, both ways, and if you are willing to do it, fine, BUT the other person better be in shape as well. I am in shape and I would prefer to be with a woman who is in shape as too...professor
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bluebelle4000 dublin, Meath Ireland
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:31 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Claayer: yeah.. thats the approach I would like someone to take with ME


Me too........... thats the nice way............. good for you C.....
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redbellypirhana Phoenix, Arizona USA
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:35 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Claayer: Hmm do you know what I would do if my other half was getting a little 'portly' ..

No?... oh.. okay.. then let me tell you..

I wouldn't EVER say anything about it.. I may talk about how 'I' want to lose some weight.. and that I want to begin to eat more healthily etc

I would also come up with more things to do out and about together.. walking biking swimming etc..

Enuff until I could say.. 'Wooo baaaybeee look at yoooo.. you are losing weight!.. You are looking even MORE scrummy than before! It's all that healthy eating/biking' etc.. we are doing. Anyhoo.. I'd do something like that.. I wouldn't ever say it.


Always Auntie Claire...rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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FlowerOfTheSun Malaga, Andalucia Spain
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:37 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????


Fistly of all I'd say "What makes you think I'd WANT an engagement ring from YOU??!!!!"

Secondly ... if I lost 30 lbs ... I'd be too ill to wear a ring ... which ever way ... the guy is a controle freak!!!!

thumbs down
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:38 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Ambrose2007: Such language for a lady! I would've told her to *please* go f*** herself, albeit gently.

Because I'm a gentlemanly kinda guy.


You shuurree arre. haha

anyway.. I pronounced it nicely.. It had a GOOD 'Kk' sound at the end.. snooty
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:38 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
redbellypirhana: Always Auntie Claire...


hahaha laugh laugh
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:39 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
hrt4lse: So true....it probably would've been more productive for my ex to just getting me out & doing stuff instead of complaining about it & not doing anything to help the situation.


Exactly!
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Claayer Wild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK
[top] Sun May 25, 2008 12:39 PM CST : He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Portiea: What's really funny about a man who would say this type of thing is that he is usuall far, far from perfect himself.....


haha yeah thats true.. laugh
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