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Oh my! That's awful! We're not all like that, I swear!

I am not one to give up..... as long as my insurance is paid up.

Zee

I know.... every date always starts out perfect then somebody ends up at the bottom of the stairs. <<< me hitting the wall at the bottom.

Zee

Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humor.

I'm not a quiter either. I'm to stubborn.

I have to admit.... most internet dates I have been on have been fun at one point or another.

Zee

After the first drink she suggested a little walk....we ended up in her 5-star hotel....before I knew it, she had me tied to the bed, and was taking advantage of my helpless situation. I was used and abused all night. Her plan was to take me back to Malibu and keep me permanently chained, in my underwear, to use as her "home-slave"...as compensation, she promised to feed me all the caviar and Dom Perignon I could consume. I managed to escape by using my dentures to gnaw my way thru the ropes while she slept.....I absailed off the balcony and landed in the hotel swimming pool before making good my escape....needless to say, it'll be a while before I risk going out on an internet date again!!!!...

that sounds horrible. I hope you seen someone about it. I mean with Post traumatic stress and all.

This is from the guy who asks his friends to set him up on blind dates.... I think the mystery of not knowing someone can be exciting...

WARNING: Don't thry this at home, Professional internet daters have years of practice and training.

Zee

I'm still in therapy, but thanks....

...wanna date??

I havent got to the dating phase yet.

I cant get past the text stage and they blow it.

with i bet you cant wait for a good humping

I have a big cock etc etc.

WEll do I get the champagne and cavier? dont know if I could handle that to be honest.

Bloody Hell I was feeling sorry for myself

Yah...makes you lose your faith in men...

I feel like writing a short manual for internet dating etiquette...

Rule One:
Don't talk about your dick

Rule Two:
Don't talk about how great you are in bed...

Rule Three:
In fact, DON'T talk about sex...

you can think sex, but for god's sake don't talk about it...

Rule Four:
Shut the f**k up and listen to her already.....

The End

Rules to live by...

Zee

Ok, I'm gonna STFU and go do my shopping....it's a brilliant hot steamy day here in Malta,,, the ocean is a deep blue, and the boats are out there already....
...and sxc, you're right....caviar is way overrated....I'd rather take a cheeseburger with my champagne anytime...

Don't feel sorry for me, I always bounce back better than ever...

Zee

Had one from here, I didn't feel any chemistry.

Tina isn't the only one that likes cheeseburgers and champagne, Lago.