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divorced three...widowed one

oops....needed to add....I don't care about a person's past. It's what matters in our life together that counts.

Of course, my attitude may be based on age and experience. Do you think older people are more flexible about this issue than younger ones? Actually, the woman I know who has been married 4 times is only in her early thirties.....Wow, married 4 times already...You'd think that would send out major warning signals to any man...but she has no trouble finding men who want to marry her....interesting. She's pretty, but not fantastically beautiful or anything, pretty normal, but, I imagine, very charming....

Anyway, the question is, does the attitude about marrying someone who has 3 or 4 past marriages change as people get older?

Thanks for the input.

I would not be interested in a serious relationship with anyone who had been married and divorced more than once.

It would give me the impression they just liked getting married for the wedding day ceremony and party afterwards plus the new set of wedding photos, as if they saw it as some kind of an hobby

I think some people have overly romantic ideas about marrying someone without the ability to sustain a relationship.

I don't believe in marriage. I don't care how many times somebody was divorced. I am willing to marry if that is what needs to be, with the right woman of course....and after being together for at least 3-5 years....

Some of us as slow learners ... when it comes to listening to actions not words, really seeing, paying attention to inner voice (the good one) etc ...

I can assure you there is nothing romantic about discovering your husband's self-esteem is so low that he can't stand for you to have a life that includes any form of "enjoying what you're doing - including work" away from his side and his way of dealing with it is to chip, chip, chip at you ... for years on end ... I believe I was not "strong enough" to deal with "it" in a way that would not affect me because of my own low self-esteem at the time ... Insidious stuff ...

Nor is it romantic to discover that you were "lied to"/him his family were economical with the truth about the enormity of my second husband's mental illness and the implications there of ... or may be I did not make sure I was "informed enough" about the implications there of ... can't blame everything on others ... May be I needed that experience to be who I am now ...


Whichever way ... making "judgements" on others and their past lives is easy ... looking at oneself and learning from the choices we make or don't make requires a lot more guts ...

I have that T shirt



and I agree.. it does take a lot more guts.

If we had a T shirt for every of our "learning" experiences some of us would never need to go shopping!!!

Once for me was my limit..that was more than enough.....

"I think some people have overly romantic ideas about marrying someone without the ability to sustain a relationship."

My commnent is not meant as 'judgement' of anyone but as something I would certainly consider as part of the considerations I would be making in choosing a life partner. For myself, I've been in long term relationships and could have chosen to marry but didn't because I believed, correctly, it was not a good idea. My romantic idea about marriage is that it should happen one time and last for all of my life--very idealistic I know, but I think, given the correct union of two people, it is possible. If you knew me, you would know that I expend an inordinate amount of thought on self-reflection and 'learning' from my mistakes--one reason I have turned down some very 'romantic' opportunities as I wait for a more sustainable relationship.

Sounds like may be we both "came across" as judgemental to/of one another as we both felt the need to justify our opinions/experiences/reasoning ...



May you soon meet someone with whom you are happy and long may it last

completely agree

Amen!

I have no time for them. It gets worse if they have kids with ten different women. I'm not getting involved with such men. HELL NOOOOOOOOO!

If you don't believe in marriage why would you marry someone at all? Even if it was with "the right woman". Do you believe that "the right woman" would change your views on marriage?