Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

It's clearly different meaning in the use of the English language, we had another yesterday crop up where ambrove said "I dont mean to go down on you" and that clearly has an entirely most completely different meaning for one man saying it to another!!

Needless to say it was amusing and i dont think ambrose will use it with any straight europeans from now on!

"Getting that monkey off your "back" has two uses that i know of in the UK, one being how did you manage to kick the drinking problem.....the other being getting that monkey of your "chest" is used when someone unleashes a comment that some might find unnecessary and uncalled for (almost unkind and wounding in nature, as a put down).

This is the context i took the monkey comment in and i think the comment she made to leo was a bit harsh and judgemental to put it mildly, actually someone who would be say struggling with addiction or a trauma would find offensive!

If you said that in a drugs or counselling session you would be asked to leave, lets say that.

I hope this explains it fully.

It's clearly different meaning in the use of the English language, we had another yesterday crop up where ambrove said "I dont mean to go down on you" and that clearly has an entirely most completely different meaning for one man saying it to another!!

Needless to say it was amusing and i dont think ambrose will use it with any straight europeans from now on!

"Getting that monkey off your "back" has two uses that i know of in the UK, one being how did you manage to kick the drinking problem.....the other being getting that monkey of your "chest" is used when someone unleashes a comment that some might find unnecessary and uncalled for (almost unkind and wounding in nature, as a put down).

This is the context i took the monkey comment in and i think the comment she made to leo was a bit harsh and judgemental to put it mildly, actually someone who would be say struggling with addiction or a trauma would find offensive!

If you said that in a drugs or counselling session you would be asked to leave, lets say that.

I hope this explains it fully.

Well you live and learn.. I was born in the UK I have lived here all my life.. and consider myself pretty well versed in the English language .. it's different sayings.. dialects.. accents and expressions..

and I have never heard that before.

Back to the basics of the thread, We are here for advice and support leo but as far as that devil you are drinking we, well most of us have no support for that, you need to kick that monkey or however you put it where ever you are.Somebody is always home here.R

To be fair to be fair to Daisy .. she is pretty new and probably doesn't know Leo anyway..

I still don't think she meant it in a bad or insulting way.. more of an encouragement that was a direct and to the point.

and I certainly don't think she has deserved the assault you have been unleashing on her across the threads. Quite petty and childish in my opinion.. almost just looking for an argument.

You said it all, Leo. Get with some like-minded people regarding 'spirituality'. Sounds like
that is what might help.

I've found that when the answers seem so elusive I need to seek out my spiritual self.
Best Wishes to one of the best.

I agree

don't want to jack his thread but i am sure leo will not mind me giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek

You never heard someone say that meaning that comment come from leftfield and was uncalled for?or you really felt the need to say that didnt you(in a disparaging manner).There pretty much in common usage where i've been from london to scotland, but i never did a trainspotting census and asked as well, theres far ruder versions i heard in all the places you could mention!

Thats odd, very odd.

And you never ever heard someone mention getting a monkey of their shoulder or back in any other context than referring to getting rid of an alcohol problem as was in this instance?

The "monkey" is the meta fore for the problem, not the alcohol specific problem.Therefore the monkey is interchangable for any problem or addiction and should be in pretty much use everywhere.

Does that make more sense?

Leo is a good bloke , that's why i was offended by the comment the lady made and thought it was insensitive, uncalled for and unkind.

Not what the gent said which agreed with the common usage in both terms, which was not offensive or directed at leo.

That said carry on and best wishes Leo, be strong lad!

Why do most of the threads most of the time end up in a case of watching one s own bellybutton ???
Here is a guy who needs compassion, advices, love and all what is happening is a little war about syntax ,vocabulary or whatever you name it

Yes I think this to. I believe someone needs help, And some people go in the forum and make it there own corner to talk about what ever. Go to your own email address. This person is asking for help.
now lets help him please. Dont be rude.

[quote=Claayer]To be fair to be fair to Daisy .. she is pretty new and probably doesn't know Leo anyway..

Really?

You dont think it was "disparaging, or in any way insulting and was meant as motivation? In fact it is just that type of comments that leads people to say sod it and go on a bing! I have seen a man talk about precisely this less than 10 feet away from me and she managed to put herself in hospital"

Then there's my friend from the site who has an alcoholic friend, it taes so little snide comments from people who are completely unaware of the factors that this lady drank all the nail polish in her parents home in an attempt to kill herself after a simular innocent mistimed remark, couple with not getting her her passport if i remember.

My friend watched over her this xmas and cancelled her travel plans if i remember rightly she was going to die in hospital.The next time she takes alcohol it will kill her.

It's a bloody funny way of motivating people with respect, and you wont get anyone down at a drugs or alcohol addiction centre talking to their patients like that.They would walk out!Walk into one and watched family and friend support network and ask them what made people fall off the wagon/path to recovery....you'll be in for a shock.Then maybe you can come in and do the advice and motivational speaking when you have heard it.

Now bearing this in mind do you not see how some people are are aware of how bad these things can get can see the danger of just saying to someone pull your finger out, or shape up, or call them a loser.


This type of comment is a hairs breath away from what i read, and i think people should think twice before they make glib simple comments and dismiss them without realising what damage they can do to a persons will and self esteem and knock back a recovery.

I'll go even further, it may even trigger someone reading this to go on a bender if they thing everyone who has a drugs or alcohol dependancy should just pull their socks up!

Phone Vale House in Herford and ask them if they would suggest their professional counsellors take this approach! Counsellers dont do years of training for no good reason you know.

After all if they had the glib soundbite handbook ready they would just be able to dispense with places like Vale house and just have half day coffee mornings saying what can i do for you......."pull Your Sock up" next.....and carry on, wouldnt they, of course saving missions for the public purse.Maybe David Cammeron would approve of your idea, or Maggie Thatcher but someone who was to keep people dry and clean cant talk to people in such a way or funnily enough the feel insulted ,patronised, alienated and feel their councellor has no empathy with their feelings or what they are going through.Thats what makes people fall off, no support, nobody appearing to give a shit and then worse of all, those of all even when its explained by an alcoholic or heroine addict would just say "Pull your socks up, pull yourself together".

What a total utter numbskull attitude/policy that would be to endorse.........

Then again thats just plain Childish and petty, what a joke.A cheap shot, but it wont cut the fact that i am right and your completely wrong.

Ask any councellor in the field.I hope that spells out my position so it cant be twisted, or represented in any way.

It is basically total crap but then you go right ahead and think what you like, i was only interesting in Leo's welfare, or any other person who is unlucky enough to be in this position.frustrated:

Hell even ask leo privately if you like if i have offered him any support in the past.This attitute of complacency and shrugging shoulders makes me sick, and really aint going to help anyone

In short dont say anything stupid and be nice!100 per cent agree

Hi Allready! nice to meet you !
Yes, if Leo Hi Leo is willing to write again , let s all of us answer in the best way we can . there are plenty of nice people here

If you dont want to be attacked in the forums then you gotta be nice or just stay outta them

What you say Leo is very true, but, eaiser said than done for some folks. Some, (like myself) need councelling or professional help to get through deep hurts, feelings and negative emotions. I sought such help through my church and it really made a difference in my life. The sessions helped me to understand myself better & why I felt the way I did and how best to "get over" them and deal with them in a rational, mature way.

There are many organizations out there to help you and many are free or low cost or work on a sliding scale basis.

Or simply dont say anything or comment and just comment about hairdo's or who has the nicest sense of humour or some other harmless topic.

When ever someone can stumble on a subject in here someone else will always pick a scab even when its not valid!

Thats why the place is bland, sterile of debates people dont speak up....oh and it also fosters beliefs in cliques!

I've lost count of how many times someones said thanks for saying that and i ask them why didnt you join in or voice your own opinion.

The answer is always the same, they dont want the grief.

So next time you dont agree with someone say what you think explain it, and when someone doesnt know something then they learn.

You vcan lean something every day on the "obama Thread by Dude, Tom will post historical facts with references and reading suggestions most days.

So please people stop the glib swipes, think about what you say and the place will be far better.

Oh and we need a load more joke threads and photos like Oslo's, but someone even reported them!!

That how sad some people are.

I agree Paws, the blame game has become to readily accepted in society.

Being held accountable for ones action is no longer enforced.

naturally the professions of shrink/counselor/therapist has grown tenfold since the introduction of acceptance of "its someone elses fault" that I do what I do, or am what i am.

no RobbieM' in short lets forget our guerres intestines and let s care when someone says help