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I don't trust me! I caught myself taking a quarter from my right pocket and putting it in my left pocket!

Morning Riya...I think people go into a relationship with to much expectation..Let the chips fall where they may..

With Eric and I..we were not looking....

but then started to talk and learn about each other but not expecting anything...

Now here we are engaged to be Married...

I say everyone get off ur high horse..step down to where we are and just GO WITH THE FLOW

In a word........yes

People that are overly cautious are very lonely people and will probably die very lonely people. People that are "cautious" are not being responsible for their own feelings. If we have been hurt, we need to own the fact that we allowed it, the feeling is ours. Nobody can hurt us unless we choose to hurt. We need to "grow up", wake up to life.

Instead of hiding behind a computer screen all day, I personally choose to be active and sociable. I get out into the real world and meet people. Example, my mom has her hair done every week. The lady that does it is very attractive and I did not notice any rings. I made an appointment for a manicure and engaged in conversation. I did not hide me, and I asked who she was.

We found out the basics about each other. She appeared excited about my racing activities so I offered to take her to the track for our next race in June, take her into the pits where the real action is,she accepted. She also was interested in my motorcycle show travels and I asked if she would like to go to Sturgis with me when I take the bikes. It will be a 2 week trip for me and she cannot be gone from work that long plus she has a teenage daughter at home. She asked if she could fly up for a couple days and I said she was free to do as she pleases.

She has no expectations and neither do I. The point I make is, GO LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! This is no test kiddies, it is the real thing and it is the only chance we will get.

Ask for what you want, and celebrate the no..............

Too cautious, me? Hardly. I can risk being hurt, because I believe in myself. I can survive. Letting myself love and care for another always adds to me. Even if the relationship doesn't last forever, the love survives in my heart, and I have gained from it.

great

I am picky, selective and cautious......I intend to stay that way......

Yeah you are right.......sure i'm going to die....but not sure whether i'm going to die a lonely old person.....

Happy with my own company and dont see the sense in being with some one just for the sake of not being on your own.....

There are billions of people on this planet and each and every day you only have to look left or right and some one is there to talk to....

obviously doing something wrong, heck if I know what it is

I have had only 2 long term relationships, one was the worst the other was great. I have had some short terms, too.
but I think from the long term I have learned what makes me happy and and what I never want again. So in my mind if I am talking to someone, and they say things that sound like there related to what I do not like, it turns me off. I really think it's more of a protection factor. then anything.
I would get emails and flowers from a lot of guys. and I would agree to talk to them. but it would not last very long and I would have something important to do. Just to get out of the conversation. I had really started to think that I was really picky, and was condeming myself from finding anyone.
But then I answerd an email from a guy, and nothing happened. I liked talking to him and the more we talked the more I was seeing things in him that I knew I liked and wanted in my life. now a few months later, there doesnt seem to be very much that is more important then talking to him.
Really I think we have all gone thru good and bad relationships, and we all know what made us happy and what we miss or want in our lives. And we all know what made us angery what made us feel bad. And we are all just looking for the someone who we can be happy, and not feel negative.
JMO,

donno what to say.... i haven't been dating for a while...forgot even the lil experience i had

Waiting for a lady in the USA !

But if I set my sites so high,as to find one like the 2 of you here.
I think I will have a very very long wait ahead of me

Not sure I have the full measure of your question, Riya, but I don't think the problem is having too many expectations or being too picky. I would say the problem could be having the *wrong* expectations and being picky about the *wrong* things.

I've seen plenty of profiles where the person emphasizes the minutiae and largely irrelevant factors in a relationship - liking a particular board game comes to mind (and no, I'm not referring to you, GG!!) - which makes me think I'm not entirely off-base here.

Hi, Riya!

Well said.

Maybe many do

myself.. I really don't think so.

As we get older, we learn from our bad choices.
if we don't want to repeat our mistakes, we don't do things the same way,
I am very willing to wait for the right one, I will not lower my standards and accept less then I am looking for or deserve.

That seems to be one of the biggest problem with relationships....
Many people will not give themselves healing time between relationships.
If you cant bare spending time with yourself.. how long can you expect someone else to?

I know many that jump from one right to the next because they can't stand to be alone, not willing to work to support them self or any one of a million other wrong reasons............

Eyes partially closed......... not me! That is the sure way to get hurt.
Would you drive with your eyes closed?
(( those of you that drive while on a cell phone or texting while driving- dont answer that last one ))

I think we should know ahead of time what we really want.
we can bend a bit, but too much bending causes a break.

For me I may sound picky on wanting a man who loves the outdoors and into fishing, but the fact is the man I had married and had children with did not like that stuff. So I am looking and hoping for common fun stuff for me and my next guy to be able to share. It is not a absolute deal breaker if he isn't.
Are you talking about chess, where are the chess players, I want to kick butt. Playing or likeing chess is also not a requirement for my guy.

Yea i wish i wasn't so cautious. and went with the flow i have no set idea's to what i look for in a partner only that he is nothing like my EX



Keep say i will say what the heck and go for neither do, perhaps i need a kick up the a**

Good question!! As I am being told by wise people, "any man is good until he's proved otherwise"... I believe the very main component is, indeed, his interest in the lady. Without that nothing is going to happen, no matter how he corresponds to any of our pre-conceived standards and expectations.

helloo ...

sorry people for delayed replying ...