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Yeah, for some people, (I guess those who are scared of commitment?), you would have to pull teeth for them to say those three words, even if you've been together for months and live together! I've had that happen to me once... We really clicked, got along, had great chemistry, finished each other's sentences.. etc.. but all he could muster up was, "I really care about you" or "I love being with you". I knew what I was feeling for him, but hey, I just felt awkward to say it first...There were a few moments I thought he would almost say it to me...(and of course I would have said it back, because I felt it at the time).. But..it was a false alarm every time..I knew he cared about me.. and enjoyed the relationship, but somehow something was just missing without that affirmation...
.. I mean, don't just say it to say it.. You absolutely have to mean it.. But if you feel it, then just stop beating around the bush and spit it out..
... So to this day, I don't know if he was too shy to say it (because I knew how deeply he cared).. or if in fact, he didn't love me.. He just LIKED me, and being with me...This was also a guy that never held hands or kissed in public, so maybe that was just his style. IDFK!

.. Then there is the other extreme.. I was in a very long relationship with someone (19 months)... And that person said it after about after a week and a half.. and it really did feel right even if we only dated for like 12 days prior.... The one thing I liked about that relationship is that he said it and was very affectionate.. He wasn't scared to hold my hand and cuddle in public.. But whatever, that didn't last either...

I guess you only say it if you mean it.. and you can't just throw those words around...

Good points. I'm like the 'other extreme.' Say it too quickly, and friends say take it slow. What does that mean, how can I measure that, when should I say it, hold it back like you did? It's on a case by case. There's no measuring stick.

Last one said it before I did, picked 'our song' then three months later texted me that she was going back to her first husband ("that beat her") so I'm at a loss.

But, I won't change, I am who I am.

I really feel both persons are afraid to say it even if they want to because they don't want rejection.

Well the first guy I believe, he was honest with you, but he could have been afraid of committment. The second guy is like all the ones I end of dating , they say it with in days or weeks after dating , maybe its so they can have sex with you. And if you already are having sex, then I believe they say that and yet don't really know what love is. They may have been in lust for you, but diffenently not inlove. They loved things maybe about you, but they don't really grasp being in love. I just have not had someone to really be in love with me, but I do know when they aren't.

If he loved you he should have told you..maybe he liked or loved being with you and didn't want to say love because that may be a whole new level of a relationship...like marriage. if you asked him if he loved you and didn't answer, maybe it's no, if you still feel for him ask him, if you don't still feel for him maybe it wasn't love at all....

I agree , if you are in love with him. Go ahead and put him on the spot, and let him know your feelings. But he may not be feeling what you feel. But at least he knows you do and maybe he does love you and he just wasn't ready. I know sometimes guys are not ready until after they lose what they had. So he is worth the chance, that is if you guys didn't part on bad terms, and he isn't with someone else.

Yep, it better to be sure up front, than spending a lifetime wondering what if..

When it feels right.......say it.

I'll tell you what I told my daughter, who is 24............"If you want him to love and marry you, don't move in with him." It's the same thing my mother told me, and it served me well. So far, happily, my daughter has had no disappointments. Don't worry too much about relationships that didn't work out. You are so young still. You will live and you will learn and go on to better things.....

there is a huge diference between being in lust or being in love

women seems to prefer a guy says "i love you" even they do not mean ti, than the guy that being honest will not say it

No we don't , I don't want a man saying that if he does Not mean it!! Boy you are one confused individual, about what women want and like!!!!!!!!

if i recall from your previous post you moved in with a guy because he says the right words
but you also said things where not the way you have talked

i stick to my opinion, (and you can have yours)

women frefer to listen some sentences even they are not the feeling of the one saying them

in case your answer was as to generalize trhat no women want to listen some one saying he love them even if it is not real, the OP had compalined her boyfriend for long time never said it

the fact they are not toghether now, and he seems to be the one that was honest

thge one saying "i love you" was not honest

It is probably one of the most abused phrases ever coined by humanity.

In effect, I sincerely believe one should not in effect even use it.

If u are with somebody with whome u are in love, it should be fairly obvious to both.

It is. End of story.

I have removed those words from my vocabulary....

I have just rearranged them

I like cake

I love cake.

How are you.

See it's fine if you just keep them away from each other..

Good idea....it's when you use them all together that they suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am confused about this as well! But I say it when I feel it and only then! It's nice to hear it back but sometimes it's just not possible.

It is unneccessary to hear it.....

it is far better if u can READ it in the eyes.....

or even better FEEL it in the depth of your soul....

Wrong again alex , I never said I moved in with him because he said those words. You are just doing like before lying to get a point!
I stick to my belief and opinion, most of us don't want to here those words unless it is real !!

I got to put on my glasses now!!

i never said that all women

if most of women as you say, means others not

you are not prouving my statement is complete wronlg

you can see here some wome still have doubts when to say it
they seems to have no clue whetyer to say it if they feel it or not

again,. if you dont like my opinion you can just ignore it, instead of atacking my person

but wjat can i expect from some one that is unable to respect others

[quote=alex_192]
Ditto