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I don't really see why people are coming down on this poor guy or doubting his story. I can vouch from personal experience that older women are hotter than heck and hornier than a coon-dog in heat on a scorching summer day. Just the other night I had graphic proof of this truth - you might say a tad too graphic after reading my account.

When I walked into the smoke-filled Roadkill Bar and Grill in downtown Badger I upbraided myself as usual for my lust-driven ways. The fact is, it was Friday night, and I was hornier than an Angus bull after enduring weeks locked up in his stall next to a field full of lonely cows crooning passionate entreaties for his massive member.

I plunked down at the bar and ordered a Bud Lite and freshly run-over possum to go (just in case I wanted to make a quick exit). I sat there drinking and mulling over my desperate state when the front door opened. And there she was, stooped in the entrance regarding me with a libidinous leer, her cloudy blue eyes glinting myopically behind her inch-thick glasses as they fixed knowingly on me - as though she could peer into the very depths of my soul - right down to the image of the bull in the stall with his unattended turgidity which unfortunately seemed stuck in my mind.

As she clomped across the floor in her orthopedic boots, the stainless steel of her walker and her knee braces gleaming in the flickering fluorescent lights, I knew I was in for one heckuva night.

"Order me something, big boy!" she croaked as she lurched up against the bar.

No sooner had the octogenarian bartender handed her a bottle of Bud which she gratefully accepted with her quivering hands, the front door screeched open once again on its rusty hinges and yet another lady from the deepest Freudian recesses of my apparently warped subconscious slouched into view.

This bony spinster gave me a gap-toothed grin and batted the Sharpei-like folds of her eyes seductively behind her goggle-sized horn rim glasses. Her grin contracted into a tightlipped schoolmistress scowl as she noted my companion hunched over at the bar. The two over-sexed senior citizens sized each other up and I could sense a slow-motion cat-fight might be in the air. But the moment passed, and my new paramour seemed to shrug, limping over and plopping down on my other side . All I could think was: sometimes God is merciful in his generous bounty. Perhaps this wasn't one of those times, but the thought occurred to me nonetheless.

After a few drinks and several stories from my ladies about their multitudinous and amazingly variegated ailments my ardor had been revved up to a fever-pitch, and we departed the bar on rubbery and heavily braced legs. We climbed into the bony spinster's car, but didn't get more than a block before she got hopelessly lost, so we pulled over under the merciful darkness of a broken streetlight. I was in the back seat with the walker-lady, whose scabrous hand was clamped in a rigor mortis-like grip on my muscular thigh. As the spinster puzzled out a possible route to my trailer a 1/4 mile away, my back seat companion gave me a wink - or was it an eye-tic? - and removed her false teeth. Corpse-thin fingers pried down my zipper, and then her blue-hared head was descending creakily toward my turgescent love-tool....

Okay, out of respect to the women on this list...well, heck, out of respect to the men, too...and especially out of consideration for the tender and doubtless now-unbearably envious ears of the young Callumagic, I will halt my narrative here. There seems no point in bragging about my good fortunes that night. Suffice it to say that it was one of the most memorable and haunting events of my life. I can hardly think of it now without shivering and feeling goosebumps rising on the back of my neck.

So for those of you who either doubt the allure of older women or the veracity of Callumagic's account, I'm here to tell you that miracles can happen. And to my young friend, I wish to say this: should you ever find yourself treading through these sex-filled prairie hills, where the average age of single, available women hovers just over 89.3 years, paradise awaits.

Hi Ambrose i just think what people do sexually is there business and private personally i don"t

give a damn. But i don"t see the need to put it all over the internet or start a thread on. Think it"s

shows immaturity and is boring to the majority of others jmo

I agree, Morg. There are some sexual details that desperately need to be locked behind tightly closed doors.

maybe it's the way he said it not what he daid

being an "Older Woman" i actually find it disrespectful to,

i get mail from men telling me there looking for "A Hot Older Woman" really pi--es me of, do i look like a

teacher???

Hi Morgan

Just becos we are older or horny as hell like he put it dont mean we will screw anything in site..

Its labelling us ladies and that is all the young generation thinks

Ah, well...there are some of us who think teachers or librarians can be pretty damn sexy...but let's not get into that.

Seriously, I find it annoying and frustrating, too, when young women write me just wanting to have sex. I'm a lot more than just a pretty body. I've got a mind, too. Most of the time.

Hi, Sexy! I know, these guys who are always mooning about over older ladies are pretty disgusting (but can you really blame them? Take a look in the mirror, gf!).

I think these horny kids ought to spend a week here in Badger under the minstrations of its ancient female citizenry. I think that might cure them of their wayward ways and possibly even teach them some manners.

JMO

Hi tina

hell i look sexier with my spec on

Okay i will say my peace here..I have been in a situation with these young kids and me being older...Its not a party...Its He$$...They take it way to far...life threaten..My youngest Scared for his mommy..Police has been called..So for all who thinks this is funny..ITS NOT...

Try to be in the shoes of another...and hear and listen..on how they few an older women...

I am SCARED TO DEATH...Its that funny

Is that funny

Frankly I think it was in bad taste and worded incorrectly. I have considered his age, and still find it in bad taste. I think what has happened is he has posted thinking a bunch of guys would jump on there and pat him on the back for being such a legend.

It sounded like a story out of penthouse magazine to be honest.

And I'm not saying I know what's printed in Penthouse magazine

Personally I beleive if a woman jumped on there saying, that she had two older guys last night, and they were hung like donkeys and FU*KED her brains out, one has his slonger here and she had the other slonger there. I think men and women would look at that in poor taste to.

I prey to god my Grammar is ok, I'm sweating. Hello Ambrose.

My Fiance can vouch in what i am saying here...He called the Police..and he knows its not funny..and scared as well for me

yep i agree

Well, the only complaint I have, Sexy, is about your predatory view toward god. I'm thinking a more humbly beseeching attitude might be more appropriate. (pray versus prey)

Yeah, I actually think I read...I mean heard about...an story like that in Penthouse. Actually, I did once have a prescription to the magazine (my dad thought it might be good for what "ailed" me), during which I only read the articles, of course.

Strangely enough, I seem to recall a colorful story very much like your hypothetical lady with the older donkey-hung guys in Penthouse...or was it Playboy? Anyhow, one of those magazines I always checked out for their scintillating articles....

Well, if you're sweating, that can't be all bad.

I think a lot of threads can dredge up unpleasant things from peoples past. I know I have got a little touchie on some subjects (ok a lot touchie then)

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience Joanne.