Scottishlass
Knoxville, Tennessee USA
Posted: Jun 3, 2008, 1:49 PM CST
If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you're both eat the same thing.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
Movie-related foods don't count because they are simply part of the entertainment experience and not a part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, and Junior Mints.
Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Enjoy your Diet!!!!