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when it's a choice between the bottle or the lover....the lover loses(almost) every time

I learned that, apparently, I have yet to learn the meaning of true, real love, pertaining to a relationship with a man... among other things I don't have any interest in airing, in a public forum.

No matter how much I love someone, it doesn't work if that person doesn't love me.

hahaha..




I learned not to give more of myself than I receive back. (Numero uno!!)

I learned not to tell too much too soon.

I learned not too think too far ahead.

I learned not to have expectations of someone else.

I learned not to be so trusting

I learned not to believe everything I hear.

I learned to triple check what I THINK I know.

I learned not so assume.

I learned that not everyone thinks and feels in the same ways as I do.

I learned that I need to master self preservation a bit better.




So of positives learnt there. haha.

Thats what my dad used to say about my (alcoholic) mum..

haha yep!.. I learned that one too..

The I'll answer this later bit is scaring me..

I learned the meaning of true, real love

“We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

And that we can only give to others what we can give to ourselves so real true love comes from within out and is reflected back. If it is not giving back real true love can be learning to let go and stand on your own two feet never allowing anyone to treat you like an option while you make them a priority. It is self-descipline. It is patience. It is saying I am worthy and deserving of love. It is giving and receiving. It is understanding. It is to trust and believe that the someone you love....Loves you.

I agree.. like that old saying. If you love someone let them go.


if you don't.. you are a psycho!

I have learned there is someone(eric) out there that really loves me

From my last relationship & every one I have ever been in, I have learned I ALWAYS play a role. The ending is NEVER one parties fault completely.

We are all on a journey, at times our journeys bring us together bring us together, at times our journeys take us down different paths. When we are in pain because another's journey takes them on a different path, the pain is ours, we must own it. Is it not rather selfish of us if another would rather be happy than be with us?

Life is like an amusement park with many rides. Ride the ride until the ride ends. when the ride ends, get off and get in line for another ride.

Go live YOUR life....

I have learned pateince, to a better degree anyway. I have learned the give and take needs to be on an equal basis, I have learned communication is important on both sides. I have learned what is important to me. And I have learned what real love is.

"Real" love is the ability to look into a mirror and say I love you. "Real" love is the ability to let another go without regret, to allow them to travel their own path. "Real" love is the ability to confront another when we see them doing something harmful to themselves or to another. "Real" love is allowing another to suffer (good or bad) the consequences of their actions.

It is I agree.. and do all of those things.. sept the first one..

Sometimes "REAL" love is pretty darn painful ............ most times its simply just wonderful.

I have learned there is someone out there that really loves me and that it will happen when the time is right....

Hi, Opal...



What you posted is good & wise info. - but I think I should express that I do know what true, real love is... notice in my OP, I stated 'pertaining to a relationship with a man'.

I have real, true love for myself, & many, many others...

However... if I did have real, true love with a man - in a relationship/partnership sense, I wouldn't be on here talking about my last relationship, & still single (which I'm cool with, btw).

Hi RedHeadedTaurus, after I posted. I thought, I don't always have to hit yes to reply....since I wasn't just replying to you but your post made me think. The same for me about not having real love with a man in my life right now, but I'm going to settle. I love you anyway.