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I got one of those, then when I told him to f*ck off he said 'hey at least I'm being honest'.

I remember when I was very young, someone ask if it would bother her if grandpa looked at other women? Just (look)

I will never forget her answer.

"I don't care where he get his appetite, as long as he comes home to eat."

looking is one thing.. acting on it is another.

All of my life I have said......"If you are so unhappy in a relatinship that you wanna cheat.....end it first. No reason to rub salt in the wounds of someone you loved not so long ago." I was cheated on a few times when I was much younger, and like so many of you have said, I ended it right then and there! There were no excuses that could justify what he had done. Then, about 6 years ago, I had been in a serious relationship for nearly 4 years with a truly good man. He was everything I could have ever asked for....kind, caring, considerate, loving, giving......probably the most honest man I have ever kniwn. Amd guess what? I CHEATED ON HIM! Yep.....after 4 years together.....and he had done NOTHING wrong to deserve it....I was the one to break my own Cardinal Rule. I have no excuse for it.....there is no justification.....and yes.....he did leave me for it. And I deserved it. Probably in the top 3 of biggest mistakes of my life. Do I still carry the guilt? Of course. Will I ever do it again? HELL NO! Do I still regret it? Yes.....and I am sure I always will. So I guess that makes me trash and the scum of the earth.

No Sweetie you are not trash and the scum of the earth. You are a beautiful person who made a mistake and you have surely learned a lot from it and that has made you a better person for when you love again. And your honesty is appreciated.

As most of you know me.. I see things in black and white, right and wrong.

Hi

very strange thread title for the subject of cheating when it is BOTH men and women who cheat...............

When a relationship suffers this kind of trauma I would like to think I would have compassion, understanding and support for the two people involved as it is a sad and sorry state for all concerned. I would try to be non judgemental as in reality I would have no rights to be so and would have no emotional involvement in same. No two people marry with the view to separate way down the line, sadly shit happens and their relationship suffers mainly in my opinion it can simply be down to bad communication skills at the best of times.

Couples grow apart for all sorts of reasons. Does not necessarily make them bad, malicious, evil, vindictive people as far as I am concerned it makes them very human. Ok, there are mean and messed up people who are self centered and destructive, I would like to think they are in the minority and if and when the likes of these people cheat they would be doing their partner a huge favour in the long run.

No one really knows what goes on inside any one given relationship, even the two involved might now quite understand how and why things pan out the way they do.......never black and white with human beings.....

human beings are very complex creatures and thrown together makes a strange mixes of complexes
some of these mixes work and some don't

What I believe is what goes around comes around, which I believe has happened in your case a high price to pay.

I also believe standing up and admitting it takes a lot of guts. Also in the way you write you clearly know it was wrong and regret it.

A to you for your honesty.

there is no goodf reazon to cheat
and there is no reazon to stay with a cheater

I empathise a 100%. Don't be too hard on yourself there was obviously something amiss in the relationship or what happened would not have happened. Although he was a wonderful man he was not the ONE ie the right one for you. Sadly he may have gotten hurt but this does not make you a lesser person than he. Feelings are sometimes just not on the same level and shit happens. I have compassion for both there is no joy for either involved if the love is not there but in essence you did him a favour. I admit to not knowing the full story and am not really qualified to say too much, just giving my tuppence worth hope you don't mind.

I admire your courage and you honesty........

Excuse me....I was addressing the big picture and did she not say she met the guy and left????? That was my impression...I don't believe at any time I said cheating was ok...if she met the guy and left...That is what I believe is right....Man or woman I don't care who cheats...It's wrong...When I said she did nothing wrong...I meant she did nothing to ask for how either man was treating her....Please before you try to make me look like a hypocrite the next time....Please make sure that's what I am saying first!!!!!!!!!!

So my position is still the same....Cheating is wrong...no matter the circumstance...man OR woman!!!!!!!!!!

double talk

you have exaclty that kind of behaviour, at no point you tried to undertand what i said, but yuo took everfy oportunity to atack me for my post

Bullshit....I have barely even responded to your posts because I don't even read them....Why because all you want to do is argue.....So if you want to argue with someone...go someplace else.....I'm not in the mood nor do I want to bother with people like you!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. said she met a guy.. fooled around and left her husband for him..
THAT IS CALLED CHEATING!

as others have said above.. if one wants out.. then leave, then start a relationship with someone else.

Cheating is cheating.

my view don't change on it , just because who it is doing the cheating.

other than that.. the word you used... hypocrite...if the shoe fits...........................
You did tell her she did nothing wrong and it was all the mens fault....You have made it clear that your Ex husband cheated,, what a dog he is and have jumped several guy here for the same, then turn around and tell a cheating woman that it was the mans fault...

OH FF"S.....I didn't go over her post with a fine tooth comb...when I said she did nothing wrong I told you I meant for either man to treat her the way they did....I didn't see where she came right out and said she fooled around with the man...OK it's wrong...there feel better....CHEATING IS WRONG...HER...MAN...WOMAN....LOON...WOLF...or anything else that is suppose to partner for life....Do want me to hang her...draw and quarter her....or maybe thew guillitine as punishment???????

Guess what...I can't help what others do...I can help what I do...I don't cheat....and I won't except cheaters in my life...NOW..for me that's good enough cause my life is the only life I have to live...Nobody elses...So I don't need to concentrate what others do...so much as I do myself.....


So if that makes me a hypocrite...so be it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you should go back and read more of what has been said by most.. not just what I have said.

the title is very accurate because it address the women that have been cheating on ,giving advice and attacking men that cheat and then tell a woman that is it ok,,

Thus= Bitter women / altering advice?

if you want to discuss mainly the cheating men.. you are free to start another thread.

This wasn't started for you ,, but still same views.

This was started because so many women come in here ranting about how hurt that they are because they got cheated on- how it has destroyed their live...
then go on to say they have cheated before..
or that they live with their husband still but looking to meet another man..
and on and on...

then dog men for cheating... and saying that it is the mans fault.. as was all post earlier.

if the man cheats.. he is nothing but a dog.
if the woman cheats.. it is the mans fault because he didn't treat her right or whatever.

Thus........ the bitter women,
But almost always, it becomes the mans fault..
Then should anyone really expect us to just take the blame and give no self defense?

I know it wasn't started for me...BUT I have never agreed with a cheater...man or woman...BUT at the same time...there are people who cheat and try to justify it...I can only offer my opinion and what's wrong for me...It doesn't mean everyone else is going to agree with it or see it as being wrong in their own minds....and yes they should take responsibilty...BUT that doesn't mean they will....and at the same time....there is nothing we can do about it....So to me there is no reason to worry about it...those are their choices...BUT that doesn't make them mine!!!!!!!!!!



Glad to see your surgery went well by the way.....

Sorry, with these meds I am in no state of mind to talk serious,
so going to stay with the light chat for a few days.
and thanks!

Well rest up and get better....

Nobody, absolutely NOBODY can destroy my life unless I allow it..

True...BUT you have to admit when it comes to a marriage and kids...if that's what's involved...then it is devastating to all concerned...Most of all the kids who don't understand the concept......It's a matter of pain in the beginning...pain that can be worked through yes...BUT pain none the less...caused by anothers actions....until such time as one can stop allowing.....