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It's almost here, the dreaded day, the day my hubby/son's father was killed, one year ago. He is having a lot of mixed feelings emotions about the whole thing, of course.

He was killed in a high speed police chase, he was eluding officers on a motorcycle.

What can I do to make this day a little more easier on him?

How do I honor the day without making it dreary?

He wants to acknowledge it, so I will, I just don't know how.

Hmmm.. I dont know how old your son is...

But maybe plan to do something a bit special that day.. a day to remember him and be happy for the good things instead.

He is 10

thats a really hard call to make
not knowing his age makes it hard to say to much
just try to make it a day of remembering all the things and good times you had with him
pictures and videos
maybe listen to some of his fave. music but only the up beat things
i do that every year on the day my dad passed
i take my mom out to eat and we sit and listen to his old records and just talk about all the good times
tell the funny stories of our time with him

hope that helps and best wishes for you and your son

Is there a gravesite?

Just like any other relative who has passed.

A visit, a flower and some kind words at the cemetary can be nice.

Especially if it's a sunny day, which I would suggest until he gets a bit older

It would be nice to have a grave, he was cremated...


Gosh, I don't know, the whole thing is sad.
I do have some home videos, I guess we could watch those if he wants.
Thanks for the advice guys!

Is there something that your husband was interested in, maybe shared with your son, that you could do together?

What about.. 'Today instead of being sad about your daddy.. we could be happy we knew him instead..

and to make this day special I thought maybe we could go to the Zoo, your daddy loved the Zoo/Bowling/Movies/Swimming/Picnic/Boating '.. (or wherever)..

Then maybe get/go for.. Pizza /Ice cream.. (something).. and/or maybe take him to buy a little something his dad liked.. or had bought him before.. or just something to remember him with.. even something tiny will do.

Get some balloons.. get him to write something on them for his dad.. (or on paper and put them inside)..

then take him somewhere he can release them.

Claire, you are not just a pretty face ..

thankyou

Great ideas!!!
Thanks!

Aaww you're welcome..

They rode motorcycles together, thought I would avoid that one...
They also fished, I could plan a little fishing trip!

Yep great idea.. Oo hey ... maybe take some balloons/pen paper with you..

Sorry about what happened, DaisyChick.

claire.. you are one first Class lady............. fabulous sentiment... wonderful.... glad to know u... K

hahaha Thankyou

Simply let go. Allow your son to feel the feelings. It was his father regardless of how it happened.

I am an ancient, my dad passed 13 years ago last month. I still miss the old fart but I know deep within he is in a better place..

For your son and you..

My mother was killed in a car accident 3 years ago, and on the anniversary date of her death it hits me pretty hard. Usually what helps me is to start the day with a good cry, and then talking to someone about her. How wonderful she was, the things she and I shared. The things she shared with me. How glad I was for having known her. I can't go to her grave site because it is so far away, but I have photos and things that help me remember her.

Do you have a photo album? You could go thru it with your son and remember all the wonderful times you, he, and his father had together. Because there's not a grave, maybe you could take him someplace that was special to the three of you, or take him to the place you and your late husband first met and tell him how it happened.

But don't try not to be sad. Sadness is the natural reaction of grief. Go ahead and have a good cry, but don't make that your whole day.

Above all (and I'm sure you'll have no trouble with this one) let your son know how special he is to you, and how special he was to his father.

-jack