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My wife left me and our 3 kids. While I would say I fought for custody in the divorce it really was not much of a fight. In my 42 years I have never witnessed that kind of unbridled selfishness. So when I see a woman's profile that under the children question reads - Yes and they don't live with me....alarms go off. Am I wrong for passing them up?

I would probabaly have the same reaction as you, although it might not be fair!
Nobody knows what's the real story behind each case...some might not have had any chance or it might be temporarely...hard to judge really.

Although, can't imagine what on earth can be considered an excuse to leave your kids behind.
Don't have any kids yet but I already love the ones I will have one day , and I couldn't ever leave them...no matter what!
JMO

But they may have grown up and moved out, thats what it means on my profile

Im sorry for your situation and whilst I would never judge someone by a couple of words on their profile...I have to say I have wondered about that too....

Yeah Morgan but there is a choice that says 'all grown and flown the nest' or something to that effect....

Yeah Morgan but there is a choice that says 'all grown and flown the nest' or something to that effect....

[quote=morganlee]But they may have grown up and moved out, thats what it means on my profile[/

yes i agree thats what it means!thats what i posted in my profile
also i do have kids but they are married and gone on there own
ron

i didn't see that thanks

Oo I haven't seen that .. ::goes to look::

Ah yep.. I see it.. it says 'Grown and left the nest'

I think.. hahah!.. In those 5 seconds I've forgotten the wording already.. but it is there.

I have a RL friend who used to live here in my town. She too was married with 3 children.. they were about 12 - 10 and 5 at the time.

She met someone on the internet .. left her husband and children .. and moved 400 miles away.

I was stunned! and so sad for them all.. two f the kids would come here to play sometimes.. and they would cry and cry.. it was heartbreaking to see.

I remember trying to tactfully ask her once.. why? .. and she said .. 'Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I am maternal.. I just wasn't cut out to be a mother, I just can't do it'



I have often read that on profiles.. the 'don't live with me' thing... I just assumed it usually meant 'Grown up and gone' ... but now I see there is that other option there.. I wonder..

Some times you have to give them up because you love them if your circumstances were difficult.Nobody should judge how hard it it is to be a single parent, its incredibly hard work.Men do the job too, i've been one of them and i regret letting go of my son every day.

All i can hope for is he is happy and healthy and one day he will want to know the truth, anyone who makes a judgement against me for that then go right ahead.

Sometimes we can only try to play the hand were dealt, in my case i was onto a hiding to nothing and being harrased in multiple directions.

I even have it in writing from my ex that i was the best parent, and that document will be waiting for my son the day i see him again.

I agree.. it's not just black and white is it.. there are certain circumstances where things just aren't possible.

The painful truth is when theres a break up its not always fair, especially on the children.If one parent is bone idle and useless how the other copes is a miracle.

Sadly kids are viewed as pawns by some, something to argue about.

A lot of men are scum when regarding their ex and kids etc.

I wont speak to my ex ever again after what she did, and i had to gracefully let go of my own child who i had not been apart from since the day he was born.

Lifes not aways fair, its how you deal with while maintaining dignity that matters.That be the first and last time i discuss my child in here.

I think that's a major issue in relationships these days....

people aren't EVEN truly AWARE of their partners feelings.

I have a friend who's marriage dissolved. One child was caught in the middle.
This person has now advanced in their career to the degree of allowing for the purchase of the latest BMW in two weeks pay. It was understood in advance the benefits of placing the children with the other partner... so that's what was done. Neither party is neglectful or abusive... at fault or a bad parent. The situation simply called for a difficult choice in order to make the lives of three people easier & more beneficial. The child is turning 6 this year, has college paid for in full, a house in their name & stands to inherent a multi million $ business. The ex is living with no financial worries, has been given a new home, a new car & needn't ever work again, even if they remarry.

This is one example of making a hard choice out of love. If you did not know the story behind this situation, one could assume the worse. In fact, this is an example of love in one of the highest form... sacrifice.

My father taught me very young that when you assume you make an ass out of you & me.

Walking the line between preferences & prejudices is a complicated thing... and gets more complicated every day.




...to each their own, but lay in the bed you make...

OOPS....sorry.......wrong thread..

I am with you on the assumption part. Based on what you have written here alone, however I would argue that the children was cheated. He cares much more about his mother's time than her money. Some things are more important than BMWs.

Claayer, be a dear and give that man a little action willya?

hahah which man?