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well said slim1977

handshake:

i'll tell you something else i learnt about life slim777

THE ONES THAT ARGUE WITH YOU AND TRY AND BRING YOU DOWN

( WHEN YOU DON'T INTERFEAR WITH THEM ) !

ARE THE ONES THATS GOT THE LEASE TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES AS PEOPLE ...THATS WHY THEY FEEL THE NEED TO TRY AND BRING YOU DOWN !!!

Maybe because I was agreeing that someone else's thoughts and that sometimes its a mistake to say things - sometimes it best to just keep quiet.

oh well at least you're honest !

whats the difference between a regret and a mistake ?

the only one and a big mistake - to give unconditional lve

If "love" is based on conditions I'm not even sure if I'd classify that is love at all. Do we love our partner or child only when their good (in our eyes) ........ we like or dislike someone's behaviours - I think there's a difference between that and actually loving someone.

that is your opinion

may be because you have never given unconditional love

or may be because your definition of love is diferent than mine

and as you have not been in my shoes you can hardly undertand what i am saying

there is one kind of love that i described in my profile, and there is also an unconditional love
and i also defined what i call love in my profile

my mistake was giving unconditional love, and i am sure you have never experience trhe feelings i experienced

Yes, we all wear different shoes, have different experiences and lives ...... but hopefully we can all come to some understanding of one another - or at least try.

the undertanding comes from making the efort to undertand the person, to get to now what does the person means

not by puting him down for expresing his life experiences
not by puting him dow for not using the words you prefer to express himself

may be the other one do not use the words you prefer, but others because it describe better his feelings someting you were not interested in undertand but used the oportunity to put him down

I've no clue what you're referring too ..... why does everything need to be taken as a personal attack or put down? My original post wasn't intended to "attack" you in the least ........... but merely my thoughts/observations from my own perspective on life.

I pondered what to respond ......... changed my mind a number of times and then thought - why not at least make the effort .... which has been slammed in my face.

Anyways, I'm not going to bother responding any further to this or any other of your posts ........ I don't need the hassle and truly its not worth my effort in trying to understand you because you never give anyone the opportunity by you own words.

you should not think of this as a mistake...... while you may hurt from it now when you gave it I would think it was the best fealing in your life. hence you have now had one of the GREAT experiences in life. I have done the same and while I was hurt I still would not trade the experience that I had for anything.



as I see it there is one problem with this thred. no one is thinking in the right perspective. there are no mistakes in life....... just wrong decisions that we learn and grow from. you must live life with no regrets, gverything we do in life makes us who we are. if you chanced anything that you did it also changes who you are.

i not only think of it as a istake, but i alkso regreat doing it

as fpr life experience, can say, it was a greast one, i learned not to give unconditional love

i wish i learned early in life not to give unconditional love

i am not so sure you were hurt by giving uncontitional love, but i truly dont know your life

i belive we are talking abut diferent things and we use the same words

i dont belive you and me use the term "unconditional love" with the same meaning

before you continue to try to convince my that my feelings are not my feelings, that what i consider a mistake is not a mistake, why dont you take your time to know mow about me

from my profile


are you suing the word love as i use it, i have no clue what do you mean when you say "love"

i also say that love is a feling that comes from the deep of the heart

when i say unconditional, i do not say it was a feeling that was developed over the time

i trylly mean unconditional

like some one coming to you and say "you have to love me" and you just start loving them, for no reazon
that is unconditional love as i see it

I was by no means trying in any way to tell you what to feal or not feal........ just giving my perspective.

as to my definiton of love.... having now read your excerp from your profile..... my use of the word is basicaly the same....... here is mine


love....... being willing to do anything for a person, being willing to put your hopes deeams and wishes in life aside to make thiers come true. not asking anything in return for what you give them. having the fealing that no matter how great or small the pain they are having you woild take it on your sholders if there was any possible way so they would not have to bare it. and yet not expecting anything in return to me this is unconditonal love.

we dont use the "unconditional" the same way

on the other side, when you say "for a person" any one?
any one that comes to you and say "you have to love me" you will love her?

that is where we have the main diference about unconditional love

when speeking of love in these terms I am refering to it as it would be with a woman that I am in a relationship with, or my childern, or grandkids. people close to me. you can not have love as I have stated it for somone you do not know. to truly love somone you must know thier inner most life and they yours. so if you are asking if I would love someone who just walked up to me and said "love me" no I guess I cant say I would. though I think very few people are able to do this

that is what i did

unconditional love some one that i did not know the inner person
it was not a romantic relationship at all, but still love
and love as i defined it previously

and that was a big mistake in my life the only one i regret

welcome to the thread alex_192 ! we need more people like you that actually

"" GIVE US THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.... INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING BACK AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE SAID ""




we can all do that without exposing any part of ourselves ...but what a boring place the forums would be !...

i prefer listening to people thats got something to say for themselves

3 biggest mistakes in my life and what did I learn from it?

1. Not living with my father when I had the chance.. My mothers home ( the one I was raised in) was a violent one. When I had the chance to go live with my father, my mother laid down the ulimate quilt trip, "I guess you don't love me, do you." As an 11 yr old child I fell for it and stayed in her home until I turned 18.
Lesson learned: don't fall for transparent guilt trips, some times it's ok to do the selfish thing.

2. Not going into the army during peace time. I have a cousin who made the Army his career. In 1995, he arranged for me to go into the Army Reserves. He had then (and now) the power to make sure I had every benefit available to me and even took leave to be with me when I signed papers. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get screwed over. I was 18 years old at the time, and having the time of my life, so I backed out of it. He never judged me for it, and we are still very close.
lesson learned: -Recognize when someone is bending over backwards for you!

3. I bought a house in 2001 when the housing market was booming. At that time everyone I worked with was buying a house. At that time, I could afford it. When I got thyroid cancer in 2002 began feeling the repricussions of that, I could'nt work full time anymore and lost my house.
Lesson learned: - Don't chase after material possessions. Only buy what you need.



Ok, there you have it, some very personal info about me. I have bared my soul to a lot of people i don't know in a matter of 3 paragraphs