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In most "first meet" situations, people are looking for "chemistry"....and in many situations abruptly dismiss another person when they didn't "feel" it....Could not "chemistry" be confused with "love at first sight"?

A truly excellent post. Exactly - I too have been guilty of it MANY times, dismissing someone because I "didn't like them", "didn't feel anything" etc. And so many times it proved me wrong. Not only their looks, but certain actions or, seemingly, traits of character which you ordinarily "don't like", can turn out to be the dearest aspects of the person as the relationship unfolds.

Wise men say that the closest person in this world will not necessarily make you have goosebumps when you first meet, and the earth will not shake, and a voice from the heavens will not prounounce loudly and distinctly "This Is Him!" (or "Her"). In fact, "the one" may turn out to be a person you'd never imagine as your husband or wife.

Now I am trying to give myself (and the other people) as many chances as possible, to find out if we'd be compatible or not.

Define Chemistry?

It's when on first encounter, the overall aura, look, body languange, visual impact, even simple presence of, is found to be enticing.

On closer shall we say, encounter, it hits the cords of erotica within......and it should be of both parties. One sided chenistry does not exist.....that's called being horny.....

Chemistry cannot be defined. If it can, it's not chemistry, it's vocabulary.

But I am.....
I personally am self employed..... everyday...., and I have a few topics I would like to present in the forums, but I have no time to "host" it.....
So, because of my situation should that make me mute?..... I think not.... people can choose to participate, or not, but if any of you would like to host the thread in my behalf, I would welcome it, as well as reading the responses when I have the time.....

I have experienced differant kinds of relationships with people in my life, but mostly they come under two categories.... instantaneous relationships........ relationships that are usually more physical in attraction, and also more volitile....... and slower time relationships which have a tendency to become deeper bonded and long lasting....

In most "first meet" situations, people are looking for "chemistry"....and in many situations abruptly dismiss another person when they didn't "feel" it....Could not "chemistry" be confused with "love at first sight"?

In the interests of clarification, what is your definition of "Chemistry"?
Some chemical reactions are slow, while others are immediate.... so if people are looking for "Chemistry", what type are you seeking? and....have you been on either end of the dating "chemical reaction"?

Thank you...........

I had a co worker, where if we were in the same room, I could smell him, never had sex with him, but I could smell his natural scent. That's chemistry seeking, nothing.........chemistry is over and done with for me.

Good luck with your reactions though

Haven't you experienced a time in your life when someone whom you were not instantaneously attracted to you suddenly became interesting when their inner beauty suddenly shown through?

In my experience chemistry is that thing that attracts me to someone, physically and emotionally. It is not the lust and love at first sight thing, for me. It is more that I feel comfortable and happy with that person. If I don't feel the chemistry, spark whatever, I don't want to be with that person, in some cases, I feel repulsed.

I have met a lot of new people in the past year, I have liked a lot and felt lust for a couple and had a true connection with one. He is still a friend and someone I love to be with, but we won't ever settle into a permanent type relationship for a lot of reasons.

I suppose it is different for each person. I connected on a site with one man and we were so compatible and got on very well on all levels possible via a remote connection. Once we met, we both felt a lot differently, it is not that we didn't know what the other looked like, we did use web cams to speak. It was the fact that we did not connect physically. No chemistry. I take it seriously and wish there were some way to get around it..

Any ideas would be welcomed. BTW the slow building of a long term relationship is great too, but for me they turn out to be friends rather than lovers..

good thread roll ... I'm not sure it is entirely chemistry that applies though I am not a chemist, nor do have all the knowledge of what goes on when we meet, see, experience people.

However from a psychological perspective there are things like mirroring, where we become attracted to peoplewho are like us and conversely do not like people who are also like us in ways that we 'do not like' in ourselves. This might, expalin the change over time, since those people that we find annoying are not really annoying at all; but, more aptly, people who's behavior we recognized in ourselves. makes sense?

So........... "birds of a feather can't flock together cant flock together" if they are living in a trailor park, collecting welfare, and using the monies thay recieve to gamble at casinos and get passed out drunk ........its romantic though, isn't it?..........

Nope

Usually it's instantaneous.

i have noticed for my chemistry with people and theres for me, usually, they feel it then after they know they want that chemistry they take it to another step, then the chemistry dies.. other times girls say they feel it and run... so i dont know much about chemistry... good luck to everyone else.... i believe there is a type of chemistry that when you feel it you dont want to let it go, like you said in the beginning its a real slow chemistry, thats deeper, i really dont believe in love at first sight, i thought i felt it once, and it died when the girl stopped calling, so now i just talk to a bunch of people at once, and the ones who are truely interested in you, will stick around, the ones who arent, will run away...... but hey love is tough, and chemistry plays a big role these days.

The Bouncer

Then maybe 'usually' is not the way to go? (just joking a little, but actually being serious too)

This is true what you say....... marriage counselors are getting less work because of people not getting married, yet you can make alot of money if you are a chemical engineer.......

I agree. Chemistry is magical. It could be a certain look in the eyes, or the way his mouth curls when he smiles. He is not necessarily a handsome man, but there is just something about him that grabs my attention. Later, just the smell of his skin will make my heart skip a beat when remembering the lovemaking. That is the chemistry I look for.

So........... "birds of a feather can't flock together cant flock together" if they are living in a trailor park, collecting welfare, and using the monies thay recieve to gamble at casinos and get passed out drunk ........its romantic though, isn't it?..........