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I shouldn't be doing this..........Its about Chemistry....

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I shouldn't be doing this..........Its about Chemistry....




letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 12, 2008, 2:51 AM CST
eve1woman wrote:
chemistry is difficult to describe because I think it is more about feelings ie excitement, hope, joy, satisfaction, optimism, lust, attraction, renewal, euphoria, fun, connection, pure happiness........

If all OR some of these feelings are present when you first meet someone new then there is a good chance of success in forming a loving relationship with this person

after that only time will tell for if both parties and not healthy emotionally and are not in balance within themselves then shit can and often does happen.

But chemistry is always a GREAT starting point JMHO

BTW chemistry can also cause blindness



I am still getting the feeling that chemistry is just an intial attraction.... a love at first sight thing.......by the general conscensus of these postings..... The way everyone puts so much emphasis on it, especially in their profiles, you would think it had a more significant meaning....
Why not just say if we are attracted to each other when we first meet, rather than chemistry.... which in meaning, suggests a more permanent blending of elements into something more.......
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kurzita
Xaghra, Gozo Malta
Posted: Jun 12, 2008, 3:39 AM CST
ltlmstrouble wrote:
In my experience chemistry is that thing that attracts me to someone, physically and emotionally. It is not the lust and love at first sight thing, for me. It is more that I feel comfortable and happy with that person. If I don't feel the chemistry, spark whatever, I don't want to be with that person, in some cases, I feel repulsed.

I have met a lot of new people in the past year, I have liked a lot and felt lust for a couple and had a true connection with one. He is still a friend and someone I love to be with, but we won't ever settle into a permanent type relationship for a lot of reasons.

I suppose it is different for each person. I connected on a site with one man and we were so compatible and got on very well on all levels possible via a remote connection. Once we met, we both felt a lot differently, it is not that we didn't know what the other looked like, we did use web cams to speak. It was the fact that we did not connect physically. No chemistry. I take it seriously and wish there were some way to get around it..

Any ideas would be welcomed. BTW the slow building of a long term relationship is great too, but for me they turn out to be friends rather than lovers..


thumbs up

Agree on most counts....
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HJFinAZ
Sun (Sin) CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 12, 2008, 10:08 AM CST
inverphil wrote:
Where did you here that before you old fool?



I was told that many times by many people. At some point in time I realized it to be a true statement. I grew up and found I did not like it. I decided I much prefer simply growing older.

There is no fool like an old fool..wink

Today, I throughly enjoy my insanity..

grin
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Ambrose2007
Badger, South Dakota USA
Posted: Jun 12, 2008, 11:43 AM CST
letitroll wrote:
I've been told that a few times..... quite a compliment, especially since he wrote Annies Song, and Leaving on a Jet Plane.... two of my all time favorite songs..... and who can forget Oh God!....... What a great loss to humanity.....


thumbs up I still have trouble believing the Country Boy isn't with us...handshake wine
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Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 4:20 AM CST
Very interesting responses to this thread..

I only have my observation and experience to go by so I would say
that love is a verb...acting loving, in actions of love...definately makes it grow for me, attraction I am talking about..

I think physical attraction initally, and later caused by other things emits a chemical reaction...and intense energy that you can feel bettween two people..

You could write a book on it...had some spiritual experiences, no other way to put it...
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Rickster
New York, New York USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 4:36 AM CST
Chemistry to me is more like that feeling of identifying and feeling comfortable with the other person. It’s the intensity of that chemistry that will determine if it’s enticing or not.


wine
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kurzita
Xaghra, Gozo Malta
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 6:03 AM CST
To be or not to be.....

that is the question.....

professor
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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 7:06 AM CST
letitroll wrote:
I am still getting the feeling that chemistry is just an intial attraction.... a love at first sight thing.......by the general conscensus of these postings..... The way everyone puts so much emphasis on it, especially in their profiles, you would think it had a more significant meaning....
Why not just say if we are attracted to each other when we first meet, rather than chemistry.... which in meaning, suggests a more permanent blending of elements into something more.......




theres loads of chemicals that get triggered by that initial attraction but I think the right behaviours have to be tapped into to keep them being produced....... or not...... I guess the meaning comes in a step at a time as you produce more chemicals by giving attention to these hunches and feelings - dunno hahaha

"nerve growth factor, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship.Oxytocin, and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments" (wiki)
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StressFree
small city, Kalmar Sweden
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 9:20 AM CST
letitroll wrote:

instantaneous relationships........ relationships that are usually more physical in attraction, and also more volitile....... and slower time relationships which have a tendency to become deeper bonded and long lasting....

Could not "chemistry" be confused with "love at first sight"?

In the interests of clarification, what is your definition of "Chemistry"?
Some chemical reactions are slow, while others are immediate.... so if people are looking for "Chemistry", what type are you seeking? and....have you been on either end of the dating "chemical reaction"?

Thank you...........


Okay, this concept of chemistry has been on my complicated thoughts for a long time. With the recent developments and experiences in my life, I think I now have a better understanding that I like to define on my terms through the info that is out there, and my intuitive feeling.

Love at first sight is not chemistry. Love at first sight is pure lust. The physical attraction is really strong, but that does not qualify as chemistry. However, it is an integral part for having the will to cultivate a relationship with the opposite sex (I'd say this is more prevalent in men on the average). How one defines what is sexy is purely individually subjective. So although the physical attraction is violently strong, this does not mean that a possible relationship with this person has the proper elements to grow into happy and harmonious relationship.
Obviously, you will know within 5 minutes if you get a sense of connection on a deeper level as well as experience an overwhelming sense of compatibility. It could be what you have in common, just a feeling of having the same energies, and being intrigued in a sexy and respectful way about any differences that one may notice. On another level, it could be that the two people are in the same vibrational frequency and have attracted each other by their state of being, emotionally and spiritually.....positive or negative and in between.
Chemistry to me is a feeling of connection in each other's presence that has withstood the test of time. Chemistry is about respect, trust, lust, friendship, commitment, sharing a common humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence. Also I think there may be a hidden variable that we cannot define yet....much like gravity. So I am not ruling out that you may have felt everything at once by looking into somebody's eyes for the first time and felt a sense of belonging as well as being back home. It may be something to do with destiny in connection with past lifetimes and the karma both individuals need to work out independently and together. A couple as one, can achieve this if it is in line with both journeys along a similar path. The energy of love combined by two partners creates a powerful vibration and if this special connection survives the challenges and illusions of the world, then it can be a meaningful union in which both partners help each other evolve and grow individually and as a couple.

If a couple is very different and can respect those differences, then this can only be a beneficial variable which helps both partners evolve and receive a better sense of understanding for themselves and their partners. So chemistry imo...does not need to rely on pure similarities.
True and real chemistry...you will know if you have it after those first few weeks of euphoric puppy love after the initial blast off phase has passed and the chemical dosage from the brain to your body has settled down.

Immediate reactions is shallow but real. It is purely chemical and physical. But it serves as a good basis to take that chance and find out if you connect and have a mutual chemistry that can endure every conceivable obstacle that may come.

I speak from experience and can say more to confirm this, but that is going to have to wait for reasons that are private right now.



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HJFinAZ
Sun (Sin) CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 9:23 AM CST
Love at first sight is not chemistry. Love at first sight is pure lust.


Yes, yes, yes....... I love it!! devil

rolling on the floor laughing
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arabella
Somewhere In, Maine USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:18 AM CST
HJFinAZ wrote:
Love at first sight is not chemistry. Love at first sight is pure lust.Yes, yes, yes....... I love it!!


You're probably right rolling on the floor laughing
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HJFinAZ
Sun (Sin) CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:27 AM CST
arabella wrote:
You're probably right



grin
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letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 12:14 PM CST
greeneyescp5 wrote:
Very interesting responses to this thread..

I only have my observation and experience to go by so I would say
that love is a verb...acting loving, in actions of love...definately makes it grow for me, attraction I am talking about..

I think physical attraction initally, and later caused by other things emits a chemical reaction...and intense energy that you can feel bettween two people..

You could write a book on it...had some spiritual experiences, no other way to put it...



Spiritual experiences in love....... intense energy produced between two joining hearts........ I love the concept...... Maybe you should write a book on it! kiss
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letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 12:22 PM CST
StressFree wrote:
Okay, this concept of chemistry has been on my complicated thoughts for a long time. With the recent developments and experiences in my life, I think I now have a better understanding that I like to define on my terms through the info that is out there, and my intuitive feeling.

Love at first sight is not chemistry. Love at first sight is pure lust. The physical attraction is really strong, but that does not qualify as chemistry. However, it is an integral part for having the will to cultivate a relationship with the opposite sex (I'd say this is more prevalent in men on the average). How one defines what is sexy is purely individually subjective. So although the physical attraction is violently strong, this does not mean that a possible relationship with this person has the proper elements to grow into happy and harmonious relationship.
Obviously, you will know within 5 minutes if you get a sense of connection on a deeper level as well as experience an overwhelming sense of compatibility. It could be what you have in common, just a feeling of having the same energies, and being intrigued in a sexy and respectful way about any differences that one may notice. On another level, it could be that the two people are in the same vibrational frequency and have attracted each other by their state of being, emotionally and spiritually.....positive or negative and in between.
Chemistry to me is a feeling of connection in each other's presence that has withstood the test of time. Chemistry is about respect, trust, lust, friendship, commitment, sharing a common humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence. Also I think there may be a hidden variable that we cannot define yet....much like gravity. So I am not ruling out that you may have felt everything at once by looking into somebody's eyes for the first time and felt a sense of belonging as well as being back home. It may be something to do with destiny in connection with past lifetimes and the karma both individuals need to work out independently and together. A couple as one, can achieve this if it is in line with both journeys along a similar path. The energy of love combined by two partners creates a powerful vibration and if this special connection survives the challenges and illusions of the world, then it can be a meaningful union in which both partners help each other evolve and grow individually and as a couple.

If a couple is very different and can respect those differences, then this can only be a beneficial variable which helps both partners evolve and receive a better sense of understanding for themselves and their partners. So chemistry imo...does not need to rely on pure similarities.
True and real chemistry...you will know if you have it after those first few weeks of euphoric puppy love after the initial blast off phase has passed and the chemical dosage from the brain to your body has settled down.

Immediate reactions is shallow but real. It is purely chemical and physical. But it serves as a good basis to take that chance and find out if you connect and have a mutual chemistry that can endure every conceivable obstacle that may come.

I speak from experience and can say more to confirm this, but that is going to have to wait for reasons that are private right now.


I like your insightful perspective in regards to this complicated subject... The depth of your ideas certainly shed light on the type of person you are..... thus you have unintentionally complimented yourself while giving others something more to think about.... Thank you very much for this well thought out posting.......thumbs up
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letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 12:25 PM CST
trish123 wrote:
theres loads of chemicals that get triggered by that initial attraction but I think the right behaviours have to be tapped into to keep them being produced....... or not...... I guess the meaning comes in a step at a time as you produce more chemicals by giving attention to these hunches and feelings - dunno hahaha

"nerve growth factor, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship.Oxytocin, and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments" (wiki)



A few beers and a couple of shots of tequila helps alot too!laugh
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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 2:07 PM CST
letitroll wrote:
A few beers and a couple of shots of tequila helps alot too!


not a bad idea for a plan B laugh
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docdog
colonial heights, Virginia USA
Posted: Jul 5, 2008, 10:53 PM CST
I think there is a fundamental difference between chemistry and physical attraction. Chemistry is the whole package.

I once worked with a man that I met a few times and paid no attention to whatsoever. I then met him outside work and we talked for hours. The chemistry was in the conversation and mutual thought processes. It was if we were one, not like clones, but of like minds that could agree most of the time, then agree to disagree. The wacky snese of humor was shared to a point of easily making jokes no one else ever got.

The chemistry led to the physical and we were together for 15 years.
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