Thread:

First Date Winner

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Jokes & Humor

First Date Winner

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laura225
Somewhere, New York USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 9:55 PM CST
This is almost unbelievable, but I guess it could happen!! She did deserve first prize I must admit!!

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not... We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno (talk show host) went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon
became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender!

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing!

Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
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langleygirl
Langley, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:04 PM CST
What a story ! laugh laugh
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rasgumby
Moberly, Missouri USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:19 PM CST
Hey Laura.. want to go skiing with me some time? rolling on the floor laughing
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gringa
Puebla, Puebla Mexico
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:35 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing

Thanks, chica....I so needed a good laugh... omg...way too funny!

:::note to self scold no late lattes:::
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dcj22
Somewhere, Minnesota USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:43 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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dcj22
Somewhere, Minnesota USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 10:43 PM CST
You'd really just have to marry someone after something like that so that it couldn't be held over your head or something for the rest of your life
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rasgumby
Moberly, Missouri USA
Posted: Jun 14, 2008, 11:09 PM CST
dcj22 wrote:
You'd really just have to marry someone after something like that so that it couldn't be held over your head or something for the rest of your life


Great wording!rolling on the floor laughing
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laura225
Somewhere, New York USA
Posted: Jun 15, 2008, 9:48 AM CST
rasgumby wrote:
Hey Laura.. want to go skiing with me some time?


would love to... has to be water-skiing though cool laugh

when?!?



"huh? already pushing for an exact date?" rolling on the floor laughing sticking out tongue
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Adam2
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Oct 10, 2008, 9:34 AM CST
laura225 wrote:
This is almost unbelievable, but I guess it could happen!! She did deserve first prize I must admit!!

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not... We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno (talk show host) went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon
became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender!

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing!

Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.


Hey Laura, this is brilliant.

I accidently came across your thread. Thanks for sharing. This made my day.
The story is feeling so real as the times are getting cold again, cold

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p_seg
Central, Xlokk Malta
Posted: Oct 10, 2008, 10:03 AM CST
Adam2 wrote:
Hey Laura, this is brilliant.

I accidently came across your thread. Thanks for sharing. This made my day.
The story is feeling so real as the times are getting cold again,

Adam, thanks for getting this joke from the archives, had missed it when it was first round!! thumbs up wave

Laura, thanks for sharing, as its imply hilarious!! rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Posted: Oct 10, 2008, 10:10 AM CST
If you love them, you must piss them free. lol. I had a similar experience, but thankfully there was no asses sticking to cars, though there was jay-running across the streets to three different gas stations before we could find one that had a useable bathroom.
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hamster330
foster city, California USA
Posted: Today, 2:06 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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