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hey guys I got to ask you if I'm being to direct when I'm sending out mail to girls I want to date. I usually just ask them to have dinner and ask how there day went. I figure its no secret why we are all here so I don't think I'm being to blunt. Thanks

Better being direct than hypocrite.

Direct is good, but maybe the women would feel more comfortable getting to know you 1st before accdepting a date.

Good luck to you....

be direct.........all they can say is yes or no.......nothing to loose good luck

i agree- asking them out right away, suggests to me that you are basing your request more n looks than personality, so maybe a few emails to get to know them first would be a good idea. happy hunting

Exactly what I was thinking.

Perhaps the reason many women come to a site like this is to get to know someone fairly well through emails, etc. before accepting a date. I suppose some guys just don't have the patients to get to know someone before they start thinking of "other" things.

I think it's kind of refreshing. Also, is a bit easier on the nervous system to meet in a mutually "safe" spot before all the letter-writing and baring of the souls.

Being direct is not a bad thing. I prefer that to endless e-mails. At some point I loose interest, get bored; and the guys wonder why replies stopped, say they miss "talking"

For me 2-3 e-mails is enough to get the basic idea if I would like to meet this person.

If they are not ready to meet you yet but potentially don't mind to, they will let you know, I think. I would.

you might be right on this one. But meeting doesn't automatically mean "other things". It is a way to get to know someone

Colorado?

I wouldn't know, I rarely get right to the point. Sorry.

There was an old saying in the Corps that said"patience is a virtue" We were taught that in leadership school. That works wonders here. Most of the women here would like to get a few emails or forum posts before they accept anything. Takes away the desperation aspect of things. Taking time to know someone is the best path to follow.

Perspective is everything ...... just because you don't happen to think its blunt - the person on the other end of the email may have a different view. Would you want to spend dinner with a perfect stranger that you've got no clue about except for a few words on a profile? Me, personally, no, because I'd at least want to exchange a couple of emails or have some sort of conversation first to see if I'm even slightly interested.

I like at least 1 or 2 emails and a couple phone calls before accepting a date. And lunch is usually better for first meetings than dinner.

I went out with one guy that asked me out with his first email, he wanted to meet for coffee. I thought that would be ok, safe enough anyway. Turned out he meant coffee at breakfast time for chrissake! I am soooo not a morning person. If he'd sent me a couple emails first, or even read a few of my forum posts, he'd have known that. I went anyway. It was not quite disastrous, but not much fun for either of us.

Think of it this way, do you just go up to strangers you meet IRL and ask them out first thing? Probably not, if so, you're used to being turned down. At least a little conversation usually is in order.

Exactly!

Then again, it could be the shirtless pic.

Getting asked out be a total stranger to dinner etc that you haven't even spoken to is an off put for me to be honest.

I'd at least like to get to know someones characteristics first.