Which is easier, do you think.....Death or Divorce?

PeachesandRay
Concord, North Carolina USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 8:47 PM CST

I think Death...seems when someone we love dies we tend to remember the "good times" but when someone goes through a Divorce, seems the only memories each person remembers were the "hard times."

What's Your Opinion?

Off to nite nite...sorry, feeling kind of melancholy

Been a Tough Day

Sweet Dreams All,
Peaches

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DaisyChick
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 8:49 PM CST

After going through my husbands death... Death. Without a doubt. IMO

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WhatUwish4
Jacksonville, Florida USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:08 PM CST

I have never been divorced, but now recently widowed, my opinion is not too valid. But I have asked myself the same question many times. I think it depends on the circumstances. Period.

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Indyfella
indianapolis, Indiana USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:10 PM CST

Both can be serious losses, or perceived losses anyway. It's probably situational. Death, obviously has a finality to it...divorce can healed possibly.

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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:10 PM CST

Tough question - sometimes I think death - but then, I wasnt married so divorce wasnt an option - but death rather than the pain of facing the break up, yes, for sure......

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thewall2
montreal, Quebec Canada

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:11 PM CST

I'd probably fear a divorce more than death.......because I don't FEAR death.

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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:11 PM CST

WhatUwish4 wrote:

I have never been divorced, but now recently widowed, my opinion is not too valid. But I have asked myself the same question many times. I think it depends on the circumstances. Period.

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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:13 PM CST

thewall2 wrote:

I'd probably fear a divorce more than death.......because I don't FEAR death.

haha thats prob my problem too - I dont fear death but the thought of loving so much again for it to go astray, well, that flippin terrifies me more than anything............

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dragonkeeperz
Port Huron, Michigan USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:14 PM CST

Divorce is easier in my opinion. Unfortunatly when you get a divorce, all that anger is what keeps you going. Eventually you'll find someone else, or something will replace the void.

In death, that's someone you can't get back nor can they be replaced. It's about relearning life, learning how to live again.

jmo

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WhatUwish4
Jacksonville, Florida USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:14 PM CST

Yep. Situational.

Sometimes a divorce frees both people and releases them from misery. Sometimes it's hateful and hurtful and one person is devastated.

Sometimes death is a welcome relief. The person is old, they went in peace, etc... Sometimes it's cruel and inexcusable mistakes were made and it comes far too soon. Children suffer, etc.

Just depends. But it pretty much all sucks!

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DaisyChick
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:15 PM CST

Sorry, I did want to add that I do think both are very painful in their own ways.

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Alfalfa
Tybee Island, Georgia USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:25 PM CST

DaisyChick wrote:

After going through my husbands death... Death. Without a doubt. IMO

Well that brings up a good point....easier for who?

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Rickster
New York, New York USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:27 PM CST

DaisyChick wrote:

Sorry, I did want to add that I do think both are very painful in their own ways.

That’s right. There is a big difference. When you divorce, you might build up resentments and anger. Depending on how the relationship was, you might also feel relieved that you are no longer going through hell. So now you both are separated. At least you know that you are both alive somewhere.

Now if you loose a child, a parent or a spouse during a wonderful relationship, WOE!!!! No way in the world could I compare that to a break up.

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DaisyChick
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:28 PM CST

Alfalfa wrote:

Well that brings up a good point....easier for who?

I'm an idiot and read the post wrong... I meant death is harder!!!!!!!!
It's still hard on me but so much worse for my son, they were very close!

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DaisyChick
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:30 PM CST

Rickster wrote:

That’s right. There is a big difference. When you divorce, you might build up resentments and anger. Depending on how the relationship was, you might also feel relieved that you are no longer going through hell. So now you both are separated. At least you know that you are both alive somewhere.

Now if you loose a child, a parent or a spouse during a wonderful relationship, WOE!!!! No way in the world could I compare that to a break up.

I agree, I would much rather be angry with my husband and have the option to mend things than to have him die... So many things left unsaid.

Sorry for reading the post wrong!

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Shanmariee
Spokane Valley, Washington USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:30 PM CST

I would say divorce is easier to go through then death because even though a divorce is hard (I've been divorced twice now) like some other people have said, there is hope to healing and perhaps once it is all done and over with, you can become a stronger individual/person. You can learn and grow from a divorce which in return will make you have more to offer the next time round.

Whereas death, that is it. There is no going forward. No second chances. No hope of something better.

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shipoker55
St. Petersburg, Florida USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:31 PM CST

I've been through both. And I don't think either is easier.

Divorce is sometimes just a slower death. Watching the failing health of a marriage is tanamount to watching a terminally ill partner.

JMO, of course

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WhatUwish4
Jacksonville, Florida USA

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:31 PM CST

DaisyChick wrote:

I'm an idiot and read the post wrong... I meant death is harder!!!!!!!!
It's still hard on me but so much worse for my son, they were very close!

Same. I don't fear death for myself, but those left behind (especially the children) are the ones who suffer the most.

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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:35 PM CST

Shanmariee wrote:

I would say divorce is easier to go through then death because even though a divorce is hard (I've been divorced twice now) like some other people have said, there is hope to healing and perhaps once it is all done and over with, you can become a stronger individual/person. You can learn and grow from a divorce which in return will make you have more to offer the next time round.

Whereas death, that is it. There is no going forward. No second chances. No hope of something better.

you have to learn to go forward from death too and hard as it may be, you have to believe in the future

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trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK

Posted: Jun 18, 2008, 9:35 PM CST

shipoker55 wrote:

I've been through both. And I don't think either is easier.

Divorce is sometimes just a slower death. Watching the failing health of a marriage is tanamount to watching a terminally ill partner.

JMO, of course

Ive been through both too Ship

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