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Push Pull Relationships

Dear Positive Way, It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." How do you get past the "push pull relationships"? I feel I am in that sort of relationship and just don't know how to stop. I feel the other person must be getting something out of this relationship. signed, push pull, age 38

Dear push pull, Yes, you can bet the other person is getting something out of this relationship if it continues in this manner. Many times the push pull relationships represent Hidden Issues and Expectations. Please read our article on that topic and see if it may fit your situation.

Honestly the best way to get past this push pull relationship is to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. Get off the Merry Go Round in this relationship and that will change it all together. Once you stop being a part of this push pull behavior then that will cause change overall. Remember you cannot control the other person but you can control yourself, your behavior and your choices. Choose a different behavior.

Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.


Above was TAKEN FROM THE NET!.........



Anyone ever feel this way?
Was the chase worth the catch once the connection was made,on any level?
Sometimes to completely ignore someone only makes them want you even more.Counter productive.

Discuss.

We landed on the moon?

What a fool believes....together we stand...divided we fall....

bump

Hii Walter... (omg it took me about 15 attempts to spell you name then.. hahah)

I am avoiding talking about relationships at the moment.

But I wanted to say YO!!

Hi back.
Fortunatel i know who you are ,otherwise,,NO KISSY on a man face.lol

Still having fun with the pictures i see.Good for you. You Can read and hijack all you want here Claire,,,,


Wanted to run this thru the "system".( FOR THE THREAD)

Imagine what your relationship will be like when you can…

* Talk about painful and important issues openly and honestly without taking things personally, attacking or being defensive.
* Deal with emotional baggage so it doesn’t ruin your relationship.
* Ask For What You Want… both in and out of the bedroom… in a way that you’ll be more likely to get it!
* Be able to use the healing magic of understanding and being understood.
* Talk about what’s upsetting you in a way that actually creates more intimacy, understanding and healing.
* Deal with the “hot buttons” you always avoid or always fight about… like intimacy, housework, money, steps, exes and in-laws…
* Experience the magic and confidence of the 7 Keys to Transforming Your Relationship.

“I don’t have the time right now.” There’s never a ‘good’ time to take a vacation, nor is there ever a ‘good’ time to begin working on your relationship skills. If you don’t make the time right now, you’ll only prolong the torment, the lack of motivation, and the distress and tension in your household.


Of course more to follow,but later on.

****Push Pull Relationships?






I call this masturbation!!

The last part of the Relationship Methods are the 7 Keys to a Relationship. These are 7 things you can do and say that will create the passion in your relationship you've been longing for. They're 7 things that will 'bring home' your understanding of the 5 Mistakes and the 4 Steps and make your relationship just that much more wonderful.

So, you see, there really is a way to overcome the inevitable issues that creep up in all relationships. Just accept the fact that, because you're human, you're going to have issues come up. And then take the first step do discovering how to work your way THROUGH them instead of letting them ruin your relationship.


Just more of the same.


Hey Claire.Lets kiss some more since you changed back to a female.

Ship.You would come in HANDY,on a fishing trip.

Because, believe me, once you have the communication tools to talk through the issues that have been plaguing your relationship - you'll clear them out and create a new space for compassion, understanding and intimacy that may not have been there for a long time.

NURTURE vs. NATURE



Oh yeah...And carry your own damned dead weight.Don't bitch about mine.


Boomerang finger.Points back a me.
Look in the mirror,do you like what's inside that you see.

Okay.In THEIR words.

First we'll teach you the 5 Most Common Relationship Wrecking Communication Mistakes. Once you can identify these you'll be able to avoid them in your communication with your beloved. It's the first step in renewing your relationship and making sure that things don't become worse. Its' also the first step toward changing the way you relate.

Remember, you can't change your partner (you may have already tried - and you'll probably agree that it just cant be done. People are resistant to change when it's initiated by somebody other than themselves - think about the last time you told somebody they ought to quit smoking.)

And really, you don't need to change yourself. Deep down at the bottom of your upset is a desire to get your basic human needs met. You need love, appreciation, support and intimacy with another human being. You're just wanting to get these needs met. So you don't want to change that about yourself (if it were even humanly possible).

But what you CAN do is change the way you relate to your partner so that they will be willing to help you get these needs met.

CLAIRE.No time for TALKING anyway.
Pucker up baby!

C'meeere

people go through phases walty...and they realise what's right.

where have u been all these days?

Push-pull= See ya.....

Ah, the beauty of codependence.

Push-pull eh? I call that emotional blackmail...

Those without self-esteem will find someone to step on in order to make themselves feel better.

But none of us are ants oblivious to a larger world. When we see the foot descending, we, as humans, have the power to step aside.

Never let anyone else define your worth. Define it yourself, and then allow others to share in that definition...

bumpin the push pull thread.
Seen it floating across the marquee.

Wise words.

Night all.

I haven't been pursued, that I know of. But I have been interested in another that was oblivious. I tried to make contact and start something, but turned out to not be worth it. He was quite young at heart and had no interest in a relationship.

The worst part is trying to ignore your object of desire. I tried that for some time without any luck. Then I found the CS forums and such, so now my energy is redirected, and I have lost those sweet butterfly feelings for him.

For me yes it was right, but for him No, cause I wasn't young enough for him. He was 5 yrs younger than me and had probable immature and self esteem problems. I have tried twice with men 5 yrs. younger than me.
I won't date one younger than me ever again, They totally broke my heart, I will not date younger now. The man better be my age or older to even bother to talk to me serously.