Posted: Jun 23, 2008, 7:43 AM CST
"IT'S A GUY THING" means there is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" means "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" mean absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" means he has no idea how it works.
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND"
means he's thinking "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD" means "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR" means he's really thinking, "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS" means "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES" means the girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
"I CAN'T FIND IT" means it didn't fall into his outstretched hands, so he's completely clueless.
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" means "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU" means "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" means "Oh, please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE" means no one will ever see us alive again.