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Hiya... thanks so much for the feedback... and sorry didn't get back to you sooner... I agree.. even if you are not a Christian.. the disposable way in which we treat our own and others bodies can't be a good thing surely...

The part I find hard in the 'grey area' which is all the potential steps leading up to sex... where should one stop (if you are serious about your commitment to doing the right thing) from what I can gather it is anything from a peck on the cheek to oral and everything in between depending on who you speak to.. dunno.. confusing

aries i dont understand what you would be asking this group about such an issue??

private counsel is surely available?


and the word.


one thing i learned for myself is that the way i viewd all the 'donts'
we 'see' in the bible before we come to a new understanding
is that the donts, for me--
turned out to be donts like a loving parent would put forth.

now that im a good healthy appropriate parent-which began before my conversion -i see all the things mentioned in there for my own good

but i have suffered all the pain and simply-consequence from the choices i made-we have free will-

i had sex whatever whenever with whomever-
my attitude was very about what i felt was ok-like an adolescent

after being bloodied finally by that method i began to change a few things, own that many things in my life were not gods punishment but simple plain effects of causes i put in motion

i changed a bit here and there as i found what I could change in a given situation...i was then able to see more clearly my part and my real feelings-this was all before i became a christian

i began to see what i was willing to change and why-
i was able to SEE...
when i was willing to take responsibility for the course of my life-
being many choices and events are connected-
and so began making choices based on my experience
and my future emotional goals

i got honest w/ myself-casual relationships always hurt me in the end
I hurt me-no one else's choice did that- and so i changed some choices
developed some standards that maybe were socially uncomfortable but internally peaceful

later when i did become a christian i noticed-hmmm-some things added up-paralleled...and it confirmed my further growth into self knowledge and self discipline and self love -because i AM valuable and loveable-a belief i still have trouble with-...
but thats my problem, god is there to help w/ that but only i can do the work to readjust my eyes toward me
if only i could see me as my 'daddy' does...

we easily find what behavior is peaceful and not peaceful for us esp.
if we are filled w/ the holy spirit-a loving 'conscience' nudging toward our happiness.

for me i know what fires will burn me-im too scarred to keep gettin burned-i made those scars. they dont shame me any more tho.

and as far as ship goes-i have never heard any of that kind of limit w/ sex in marriage in fact there is scripture as im sure he knows is opposite of that teaching-his body if for me and mine for him and i truly understand that anything goes between husband and wife it is a sacred private relationship

so yeah
it was a long answer

Hiya... thanks mindful.. I value ur opinion.. and it helps... and no it is not too long...