Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

Do you find yourself struggling to "win" arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter!

What is a "Right-Fighter"

A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having the last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what.

Challenges of Being a "Right-Fighter"

1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by the need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to the outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she/he is not agreed with then she/he is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The "right-fighter" desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her/him to feel ok about herself/himself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth.

2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because the right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, the effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on the part of the children and often the other parent/spouse is inevitable. "Right-Fighting" is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because the child is made to feel like the "loser" and that his or her opinions are
not valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately the low self-esteem of one steals the development of strong self-esteem of others.

Nope! But I do love a good arguement/conversation. Don't mind playing devils advocate either to keep it going!

No....I'm a right-for-me non-fighter.....My opinion is just that...mine...I don't expect anyone else to have the same opinion...it's funny to watch people who need to be right....via supposition...ESP and other forces of nature....they also know...what you mean when you post something....what you are thinking and who you are thinking about!!!!!!!!!

Dont care what you say...i think your wrong!!!!

and how very true

Heck no, The horse always knows best

there is a way to prevent it

change your name to JMO and most of the times work

JMO (formerly kown as alex)

No, I'm not a "right-fighter", but I am a "prove-it-to-me" type of person. If I'm in an argument with someone & I know I am right I back it up with proof, if I can't prove my point I will back down & I expect the same from anyone else.

Ooooooo.... I'll try that!! Thanks!!

I do the same thing....It's those who can't back up what they are saying make me laugh...because they will say things like...I'm not making it up...without showing just exactly who did make it up then!!!!!!

In order to accept your assertion I would have to assume its 'right' feckin ell !


It also has to be differentiated from actually being 'in the right'... which is usually me...

Oh come on....YOU know it's me whose always in the know and in the right....geeze typical of a right-fighter!!!!!!!!!!!

The reason I started this thread is because I have some family members who are "Right Fighters."

Me too...I just quit arguing and tell them condescendingly they're right....

I disavow that right fighter crap and raise you the interminable right of way.. which I control with all my magnifiscense ... you are butt a mere fly in the ointment, just in the wrong place at right's time

shoould i asume you talk to them more than what you actually correspond with them?

if that is the case, the key to avoid tose fight is starting each sentence with

in my opinion

if you dont do that, they will thiknk you are stateing their opinion and will try to convice you otherwise

I know it is hard, i can hardly do it myself, because I know i am statiung my opinion

but you have to have in mind, not every one is smart

an old quote "you can't fix stupid."

Just wondering where you got this drivel? It is another example of categorising people in the extreme. No room for grey areas in this assessment as far as I can see, and worse, people are falling for it.

It's like telling someone that they have a disease because they have an opinion. Everyone has opinions and are entitled to them and they are all different in certain aspects, mostly due to the fact that different people have different experiences of life, education and other people.

Not everyone who likes an arguement is an aggressor. Many times people who try to make a point are actually right and everyone else is wrong. It depends on their background, experience and abilities in certain areas. Neither is someone trying to be heard, an aggressor. There are too many variables in real life to be making blanket statements and assuming they are gospel.

This is just a load of hogwash.

To lump people's characters all together like this is just wrong.

I'm not looking for anyone here to feel sorry for me nor do I feel sorry for myself cause I've learned to deal with the way my family members are and know I can't change them.

Now my own thread's got me teary eyed now. Darn I hate it when I cry.

Alex no I don't converse with my family members anymore which makes me so sad and is such a great loss for me and them and I start crying just thinking about them and how hurt I feel that we don't get along.

When my parents were alive we were a close family and then all of a sudden we've become enemies. Why I don't know.

i trully undertand you feelings

i am sory for your lost, but sometimes is better now than later, when it is too late