Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

and if you like some good reading visit my blogs too

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife,
"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked.
When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night."

The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!"
The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"

"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

Yes... I would adore a fresh cup of coffee right about now.

ah the magic word......... COFFEE

Fire Truck

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little
girl riding down the sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the
sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and
her cat. The firefighter walks out to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he says admiringly.
"Thanks, Mister Firefighter" the girl says,
The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her
dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little Partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig,
but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar I think you could go faster!"
The little girl replies sweetly, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a
siren"

yum a java chiller

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

MY FAVORITE:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Did someone say: "coffee"?